N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,996
This is a difficult question isn't it. Many people here sympthaize with antinatalism I think their answer must be: yes there are more important things than happiness. For example avoidance of suffering. Not sure whether other animals can feel happiness. Maybe it is state of consciousness that only happens to beings which are able of sophisticated thoughts.
I think many philsophers mocked the notion of happiness. John Stuart Mill said "It is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a pig satisfied." Kind of rude. Slavoj Zizek stated "Happiness is for idiots."
I don't have time to elaborate fully on the argument of Zizek it is a while ago I listened to it anyway.
But both quotes are similar.
There are different approaches to happiness anyway. Different people have different notions and stances on it.
I had to think about it today. Today was my free day. Way less stress. I did some hobbies I enjoy. I read DFW, phoned for hours with my best friends and played a lot of video games. But I am not sure if this was really the best thing about the day. Due to the fact I had my free day I felt less pressure on my shoulders. And due to abuse and mental illness I am pressuring me on an insane level. Almost every single day. I also think the pressure today was nasty. But it was a huge relief if we compare it to the other days. It is so sick and inhuman how I am pressuring me.
There are different things I fear. Poverty which will force me to commit suicide. And extreme psychosomatic pain which will also cause suicide. I am really kind of traumatized by both. I think I have never experienced real poverty but always when I watch TV reports about it I am thinking. Yes I cannot survive to live under these circumstances. I am not made for it. Two former therapists also think if I am dependent on welfare I will probably kill myself.
The other thing which I am extremely anxious about is this psychosomatic pain. After my two manias I crashed and the pain was unimaginable. I think if this happens again I gonna kill myself. Last time it lasted for more than one year. It was extremely insane I think many would have killed themselves. And if I had the means to that time I would probably be already dead.
Why am I explaining all of this? I want to demonstrate my life and my biggest fears are not concerning happiness. Obviously I wish to be happy. I imagine things how I could become more happy. (by the way when is this state reached, how many feelings of happiness do I have to accumulate to reach thie mental state of happiness and how do we measure it?)
I plan to change my meds soon in order to feel a little bit more happy. I hope it won't backfire.
Though my deepest feelings fear pain and suffering way more than they crave for happiness. Maybe this depends on the individual. It is an interesting thing for me. During my last manias (I am biploar) I felt extremely good. It felt so amazing. One mania lasted roundabout one year and it was the best time of my life. Though I try everything what I can to prevent another mania. Because after the manias you have to pay the price. And especially people who have bipolar type two experience often extremely severe depression. And man it was insane. As I said I got this psychosomatic pain as a symptom of my depression. I felt like something would tear me physically apart. The feeling was especially in my feet. I was extremely agitated. The pain was absolutely insane. I swore to me. I want to avoid manias as good as possible for the rest of my life. And I try a lot to prevent them. I felt kind of happy during my manias but the price I had to pay was way way too much. The happiness that accompanied the mania was deceiving and fleeting. However the pain lasted way way longer.
I think other bipolar people are not this rational abou their illness. I can partly understand them. Mania can feel amazing but I hate this mental state. I tend to extreme behavior, make risky decisiosn and I don't feel completely rational. Moreover it is a very self-destructive mental state which often results in a catastrophe. It is simply not worth it. But I know bipolar people who came to a different conclusion. I am thinking more about the longterm consequences.
I think I would not need happiness to live on. I could also live a mediocre life. But I don't get that option. I do a lot in order to get a mediocre life. But honestly my life quality gonna be nightmarish. I feel forced to commit suicide.
Okay one more approach. Due to bullying I am extremely obsessed what people think of me. I have a lot of OCD though my therapist does not really acknowledge it. I am obsessed to create a certain impression in the mind of people that surround me. Firstly I want that people consider me as very intelligent. Often I pretend to be smarter than I really am. Which is kind of pathetic.
The other one is I am obsessed by my weight. I want to be thin. Not typically anorexic rather atypical anorexic. I think both helps me to feel less suicidal. If I gain weight I become more suicidal.
Today I phoned with two of my best friends. Both were genuinely honest. One was impressed by my essay for college and called me really smart. The other one called me very thin. Even a little bit too thin.
You cannot make me better compliments than these two examples. Though I did not really feel happy when they told me that. I felt satisfied for some seconds and I am still a little bit proud because both said this to me. (They were fully honest I can spot when they lie.) When I thought more about it I rather felt a little bit sad. I am only obsessed about intelligence and my weight because bullying traumatized me. In some sense my bullies have won and broke me. Now I am living up their standards and when I don't fulfil them I am still this insecure and empty teenager who just wants to be accepted.
Yeah it is really a sad and empty feeling. But it is really ambivalent. I know for sure if I cannot create these impressions in the minds of other people I feel way worse. Maybe the conclusion is: Even if we reach our own goals sometimes we don't reach happiness. And just as in the other example. I am not obsessed by being/becoming happy. I am more driven by anxiety, fear of suffering and the avoidance of pain.
For me as you can see there are more important things than happiness. Maybe I would be more interested in happiness if I was not such a mental wreck. Maybe you need some basic needs fulfilled in order to achieve it. I rather struggle with the most basic human demands. I don't have much time to ask me whether I am happy or not. Mabye this question is in itself is toxic. But I won't elaborate on that now.
What is your opinion on it?
I think many philsophers mocked the notion of happiness. John Stuart Mill said "It is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a pig satisfied." Kind of rude. Slavoj Zizek stated "Happiness is for idiots."
I don't have time to elaborate fully on the argument of Zizek it is a while ago I listened to it anyway.
But both quotes are similar.
There are different approaches to happiness anyway. Different people have different notions and stances on it.
I had to think about it today. Today was my free day. Way less stress. I did some hobbies I enjoy. I read DFW, phoned for hours with my best friends and played a lot of video games. But I am not sure if this was really the best thing about the day. Due to the fact I had my free day I felt less pressure on my shoulders. And due to abuse and mental illness I am pressuring me on an insane level. Almost every single day. I also think the pressure today was nasty. But it was a huge relief if we compare it to the other days. It is so sick and inhuman how I am pressuring me.
There are different things I fear. Poverty which will force me to commit suicide. And extreme psychosomatic pain which will also cause suicide. I am really kind of traumatized by both. I think I have never experienced real poverty but always when I watch TV reports about it I am thinking. Yes I cannot survive to live under these circumstances. I am not made for it. Two former therapists also think if I am dependent on welfare I will probably kill myself.
The other thing which I am extremely anxious about is this psychosomatic pain. After my two manias I crashed and the pain was unimaginable. I think if this happens again I gonna kill myself. Last time it lasted for more than one year. It was extremely insane I think many would have killed themselves. And if I had the means to that time I would probably be already dead.
Why am I explaining all of this? I want to demonstrate my life and my biggest fears are not concerning happiness. Obviously I wish to be happy. I imagine things how I could become more happy. (by the way when is this state reached, how many feelings of happiness do I have to accumulate to reach thie mental state of happiness and how do we measure it?)
I plan to change my meds soon in order to feel a little bit more happy. I hope it won't backfire.
Though my deepest feelings fear pain and suffering way more than they crave for happiness. Maybe this depends on the individual. It is an interesting thing for me. During my last manias (I am biploar) I felt extremely good. It felt so amazing. One mania lasted roundabout one year and it was the best time of my life. Though I try everything what I can to prevent another mania. Because after the manias you have to pay the price. And especially people who have bipolar type two experience often extremely severe depression. And man it was insane. As I said I got this psychosomatic pain as a symptom of my depression. I felt like something would tear me physically apart. The feeling was especially in my feet. I was extremely agitated. The pain was absolutely insane. I swore to me. I want to avoid manias as good as possible for the rest of my life. And I try a lot to prevent them. I felt kind of happy during my manias but the price I had to pay was way way too much. The happiness that accompanied the mania was deceiving and fleeting. However the pain lasted way way longer.
I think other bipolar people are not this rational abou their illness. I can partly understand them. Mania can feel amazing but I hate this mental state. I tend to extreme behavior, make risky decisiosn and I don't feel completely rational. Moreover it is a very self-destructive mental state which often results in a catastrophe. It is simply not worth it. But I know bipolar people who came to a different conclusion. I am thinking more about the longterm consequences.
I think I would not need happiness to live on. I could also live a mediocre life. But I don't get that option. I do a lot in order to get a mediocre life. But honestly my life quality gonna be nightmarish. I feel forced to commit suicide.
Okay one more approach. Due to bullying I am extremely obsessed what people think of me. I have a lot of OCD though my therapist does not really acknowledge it. I am obsessed to create a certain impression in the mind of people that surround me. Firstly I want that people consider me as very intelligent. Often I pretend to be smarter than I really am. Which is kind of pathetic.
The other one is I am obsessed by my weight. I want to be thin. Not typically anorexic rather atypical anorexic. I think both helps me to feel less suicidal. If I gain weight I become more suicidal.
Today I phoned with two of my best friends. Both were genuinely honest. One was impressed by my essay for college and called me really smart. The other one called me very thin. Even a little bit too thin.
You cannot make me better compliments than these two examples. Though I did not really feel happy when they told me that. I felt satisfied for some seconds and I am still a little bit proud because both said this to me. (They were fully honest I can spot when they lie.) When I thought more about it I rather felt a little bit sad. I am only obsessed about intelligence and my weight because bullying traumatized me. In some sense my bullies have won and broke me. Now I am living up their standards and when I don't fulfil them I am still this insecure and empty teenager who just wants to be accepted.
Yeah it is really a sad and empty feeling. But it is really ambivalent. I know for sure if I cannot create these impressions in the minds of other people I feel way worse. Maybe the conclusion is: Even if we reach our own goals sometimes we don't reach happiness. And just as in the other example. I am not obsessed by being/becoming happy. I am more driven by anxiety, fear of suffering and the avoidance of pain.
For me as you can see there are more important things than happiness. Maybe I would be more interested in happiness if I was not such a mental wreck. Maybe you need some basic needs fulfilled in order to achieve it. I rather struggle with the most basic human demands. I don't have much time to ask me whether I am happy or not. Mabye this question is in itself is toxic. But I won't elaborate on that now.
What is your opinion on it?
Last edited: