Discussion Are most people inherently good/ altruistic or mostly unkind/self-selfish ?

[MeltingHeart]

I always wanted to belive the former- and i have met some amazing people in my life, who have been thoughful, kind, generous (not materialistically-but generostity of spirit-listening etc) & all round wonderful. But at the end of day i have to conclude, in part from the state of the world & also in huge part from my own experience, that I sadly do think the majority of people posses what I would i would deem the negative qualities of human beings; that being a combination of or just one of the following; narcissists, self-obsession (similar to first one i guess), dishonest, greedy, cruel, thoughtless, lazy (as in the effort they make with others), narrow-minded, judgemental, self- serving, manipulative, v.v.bad at listening, not v sympathetic, an in ability to be emphathetic, self-absorbed, can be mean due to their own issues of envy/ jealousy, thoughtlessness...

I think many are like this- and why the nacissists can thrive & 'win' in soceity, when the pure of heart will be destoyed by other people- because they either give to much of themselves away for finding constantly having to deal with the types above utterly exhausting and ultimately their spirit will break and their soul cave in from it all.

Not saying I am so perfect-far from it and I would think most people in the world exhibit some of the above traits - even just at times but not constantly. But it just makes me so so sad to think of all the people that mistreat others-either for their own gain, pure stupidity & lack of understanding of the pain they are causing or they have their own issues which they take out on others.

Vent of sadness and hurt...that is all.

 

[JustLosingMyself]

I experienced that being kind, helpful and generous only begets incomprehension, pettiness, malice and abuse.

I'll pass in future and won't get involved

 

[MeltingHeart]

It seems that being genuinely kind, open-hearted, a good listener and more thoughtfull of others over ones self is a way to 'fail' in this world and be knocked down by it. I guess it is about balance, self-presevation and care & recognising yr own needs are equally as important and valid as othes at times. So that you can in fact keep strong and happy enough to even be able to then go on to help others as and when are you in the position to do so. Seems I was too stupid to realise it in time before I allowed others to let me down, overlook me, hurt me & ultimately destroy me. When I ctb-it will because of the people in my life- i dont care if thats playing the blame game, its just the truth, others have made me feel this way 100%. There are so many people if I hadnt had OR let in my life, or if I had stood upto this would not have happened- I guess in that way it IS my fault for allowing it to be this way. But I didnt know how to protect myself, or how I deserved to be treated- I had never been taught that.

 

[SinisterKid]

People will always let each other down, for so many reasons. We all hurt someone, intentionally or otherwise, its part of what makes us human. But we all have this gift of bringing joy and pleasure to each other, if only we get the chance, which sadly, some never do. I would never give another person the satisfaction that I took my own life because of them.

I have lived my life trying to be the best man I could be. I put others first, think about them and their needs and try to be a good human being. Its easy to become cynical and bitter, much harder to stay true to yourself. That is what I am trying to get back to, being who I am and being at peace with it, instead of fighting to be someone I am not.

Its a shame others have had such a negative impact on you and your life. Hopefully you will leave this life on your own terms and find the peace that we all richly deserve.

 

[MeltingHeart]

People will always let each other down, for so many reasons. We all hurt someone, intentionally or otherwise, its part of what makes us human. But we all have this gift of bringing joy and pleasure to each other, if only we get the chance, which sadly, some never do. I would never give another person the satisfaction that I took my own life because of them.

I have lived my life trying to be the best man I could be. I put others first, think about them and their needs and try to be a good human being. Its easy to become cynical and bitter, much harder to stay true to yourself. That is what I am trying to get back to, being who I am and being at peace with it, instead of fighting to be someone I am not.

Its a shame others have had such a negative impact on you and your life. Hopefully you will leave this life on your own terms and find the peace that we all richly deserve.

I dont know if others will have the satisfaction that I took my life because of them- but it will be because of them. Not just one person- but I guess once you are treated badly by a few people - it becomes what u know-you 'accept it' as the norm- so you continue to let it happen from other people-the circle perpetuates.
Wouldn't be so bad if a could of said people hadn't taken away my Sn. Sorry I know I always go on about it. And I so sounds bitter & angry. I just really feel I literally should not be hear anymore. I was ready!! :(

 

[MeltingHeart]

I'm not sure about these days, the state alters how people might otherwise behave in a free society. You cannot judge the natural state of how people are until u remove institutionalized violence enforced on the citizens. I guess certain cultures are more violent than others. Like in some places child rape is like normal, inbreeding is ok, genital mutilation.

I get what u are saying - I prob should have highlighted that i didn't mean in a sense the extreme cases of "bad" people, but those that seem nice enough & ok by all usual conventions and yet are still ultimately largely concerned with self & served by there own ego above all else.

 

[Final Escape]

I get what u are saying - I prob should have highlighted that i didn't mean in a sense the extreme cases of "bad" people, but those that seem nice enough & ok by all usual conventions and yet are still ultimately largely concerned with self & served by there own ego above all else.

Lol! I know what u meant. Yes probably, most people are like this or they want to believe they are. I used to think I was mostly a good person, but it's not true. I've done great harm in the course of my life to many people. Not consciously but because I was like not fully aware about what is right and wrong behavior. Until I suffered personally from the effects of the compounded wrong behaviors over time.

 

[charlie_z]

I used to think about this question a lot. Do we lean more towards kindness or malevolence? I think this has always been one of the principal questions we've asked ourselves about our nature. Philosophers, from the Greeks to the Post-modernist, have tried tackling this question, but unless I missed it somehow (which is all too possible), I don't think anyone's been able to give a definitive answer one way or the other.

Science, I think, is coming closer to offering, maybe not a complete answer, but at least something we can put our heads around. Neuropsychologist are now able to show differences in the brains of sociopathic individuals from those of the wider 'normal' population. I'm not sure what this tells us really except perhaps that a lot of what we are is hardwired into us, and that a lot of that hard-wiring seems geared toward self-preservation and the subsequent potential for violence.

That's not the whole story. Child-development studies, which to be honest I don't fully comprehend, seem to suggest that we come into the world with an, and I use the word hesitantly, innate capacity to understand others and the ability to adjust behavior in order to meet social standards. In other words, it's generally better to be a good little girl or boy. As to how 'good behavior' is defined by a culture, there is a wide range of historical examples to choose from: from pacific North American indigenous groups to violent totalitarian states like that of the Third Reich.

What's my take? Bottom-line, I have no idea. I know I have personally experienced love and hate. I know that a lot of times I've done things I knew were not 'right' but did them anyway because I hoped for some immediate benefit. I also know I've gone out of my way to help others to the extent of putting myself in harms way because I felt it was the 'right' thing to do. And I know the world can be both a beautiful and horrible place. Most of all, I know that I no longer can or care to know more about the world.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I used to think about this question a lot. Do we lean more towards kindness or malevolence? I think this has always been one of the principal questions we've asked ourselves about our nature. Philosophers, from the Greeks to the Post-modernist, have tried tackling this question, but unless I missed it somehow (which is all too possible), I don't think anyone's been able to give a definitive answer one way or the other.

Science, I think, is coming closer to offering, maybe not a complete answer, but at least something we can put our heads around. Neuropsychologist are now able to show differences in the brains of sociopathic individuals from those of the wider 'normal' population. I'm not sure what this tells us really except perhaps that a lot of what we are is hardwired into us, and that a lot of that hard-wiring seems geared toward self-preservation and the subsequent potential for violence.

That's not the whole story. Child-development studies, which to be honest I don't fully comprehend, seem to suggest that we come into the world with an, and I use the word hesitantly, innate capacity to understand others and the ability to adjust behavior in order to meet social standards. In other words, it's generally better to be a good little girl or boy. As to how 'good behavior' is defined by a culture, there is a wide range of historical examples to choose from: from pacific North American indigenous groups to violent totalitarian states like that of the Third Reich.

What's my take? Bottom-line, I have no idea. I know I have personally experienced love and hate. I know that a lot of times I've done things I knew were not 'right' but did them anyway because I hoped for some immediate benefit. I also know I've gone out of my way to help others to the extent of putting myself in harms way because I felt it was the 'right' thing to do. And I know the world can be both a beautiful and horrible place. Most of all, I know that I no longer can or care to know more about the world.

Your great writing again! You must be well read to. I used to read a fair bit- but can now barely read a small article in a paper- because I simple "don't see the point" whereas I used to have such a thirst for knowledge and loved finding things out- for no reason either but just that urge to expand my brain & enrich my life - just by knowing whatever random stuff - be it about art, history, science and so forth. Now I have lost that feeling. I know I am done with life. I feel the same as you do - with the sentiment expressed in that final sentence of yr reply. It feels so sad.

Lol! I know what u meant. Yes probably, most people are like this or they want to believe they are. I used to think I was mostly a good person, but it's not true. I've done great harm in the course of my life to many people. Not consciously but because I was like not fully aware about what is right and wrong behavior. Until I suffered personally from the effects of the compounded wrong behaviors over time.

Sorry you suffered to- it's incredibky the effects people can have on one another - I guess because we are meant to be very connected & social creatures - the impact of repeated negative interaction however the manifest can be profound & long lasting.