Apology, the answer, good bye

[ojinzo]

This morning I awoke to a goodbye thread that shook me in so many ways. To start, it was penned a member who reached out to me for help a few months ago. I was mean and surly toward them because I thought their line of questioning meant they were le, but, I was wrong. Now they are dead and I feel like crap. They were, like me, just searching for a peaceful way out. I wish I could have been a friend to them in their final weeks. I wish I could have, at least, been kinder to them.
The next thing that perturbed me was one users relentless attempts to stop them from ctb. How freaking dear you ruin someone's final exit with self serving pleas. How dear you?!

To conclude, I learned a lot from this post and will never be combative or rude towards anyone on this site any longer. I refuse to be one of the many reasons anyone experience pain or suffering in this life. Rip @Theanswer

 

[Hollowillow]

I read the thread, I was shocked. You weren't the ass ruining her final moments, she probably forgot ages ago that you were rude, or understood that people here are wounded with issues, refusing to be a friend isn't the worst. Not nice but I forgave people here more easily, we're in pain together... And no need to curse them, they'll kill themselves anyway... So I feel no need to fight someone so wounded. But the pro life stuff freaked me out. I'll keep it in mind... That good intentions can be abuse... And expressing that you don't wish to be friends was at least honest...

I feel relief that you have regret. If it can help you open your heart to friendship it's good, don't torment yourself too much with regret. You don't seem that bad. If you were a sexist jerk not valuing women unique emotional perspective... Perhaps this grief will help you see the value of people putting the emphasis on emotions... They can feel empathy & offer comfort better than someone with rational cold hard facts. I don't really understand the situation, what you did... But I can feel your regret & grief... My heart is full of forgiveness for you, even though it never is. I loathe & pray for vengeance... But I don't think you deserve it. I think even the person who ruined her goodbye did it our of grief... I pity her broken heart & helplessness... But trying to save others when we can't save ourselves can be arrogant, I'm guilty of that a lot. I made a mistake on a goodbye thread too. I am relieved that I at least apoligized & deleted my post. Recovery tips beling in recovery, not at the bus station... Ruining goodbyes... I too wish to save... But I too wish for death.

If you pushed her away from a personal preference, without mocking hers... I think it's ok even if you could have been less rude. What happened exactly?

I noticed your cool avatar. I think you're nice

 

[FuneralCry]

I think the thread that you are referencing was posted weeks ago, not today. I saw it on the forum list. On this forum people often mistake older threads for being brand new. But there really is enough pain in this world without people making things worse. That is why it's always risky posting anything on a public forum as you cannot control peoples behaviour. Humans can be cruel and selfish and that's why it's better to be alone. I hope that you find relief from your suffering, the fact that so many people are looking for a peaceful way out just shows how awful life can be, I wish you the best.

 

[ojinzo]

I read the thread, I was shocked. You weren't the ass ruining her final moments, she probably forgot ages ago that you were rude, or understood that people here are wounded with issues, refusing to be a friend isn't the worst. Not nice but I forgave people here more easily, we're in pain together... And no need to curse them, they'll kill themselves anyway... So I feel no need to fight someone so wounded. But the pro life stuff freaked me out. I'll keep it in mind... That good intentions can be abuse... And expressing that you don't wish to be friends was at least honest...

I feel relief that you have regret. If it can help you open your heart to friendship it's good, don't torment yourself too much with regret. You don't seem that bad. If you were a sexist jerk not valuing women unique emotional perspective... Perhaps this grief will help you see the value of people putting the emphasis on emotions... They can feel empathy & offer comfort better than someone with rational cold hard facts. I don't really understand the situation, what you did... But I can feel your regret & grief... My heart is full of forgiveness for you, even though it never is. I loathe & pray for vengeance... But I don't think you deserve it. I think even the person who ruined her goodbye did it our of grief... I pity her broken heart & helplessness... But trying to save others when we can't save ourselves can be arrogant, I'm guilty of that a lot. I made a mistake on a goodbye thread too. I am relieved that I at least apoligized & deleted my post. Recovery tips beling in recovery, not at the bus station... Ruining goodbyes... I too wish to save... But I too wish for death.

If you pushed her away from a personal preference, without mocking hers... I think it's ok even if you could have been less rude. What happened exactly?

I noticed your cool avatar. I think you're nice

I really appreciate this response and thanks for the compliment. I accused her of being le. She was quite offended and I responded that I didn't care. I was scared jerk. She was inquiring about my N order and I was simply freaked out. I'm hindsight I know now she was just curious to know whether or not I was successful.

 

[Hollowillow]

I really appreciate this response and thanks for the compliment. I accused her of being le. She was quite offended and I responded that I didn't care. I was scared jerk. She was inquiring about my N order and I was simply freaked out. I'm hindsight I know now she was just curious to know whether or not I was successful.

What is le? Sounds like the paranoia was understandable. N is illegal?

 

[ojinzo]

What is le? Sounds like the paranoia was understandable. N is illegal?

Le is law enforcement and yes, I was super para.

 

[Hope:-)]

I had an issue with theanswer before her passing as did someone else here. It was unfortunate. She thought I was being sarcastic when I wasn't and asked me not to be on her goodbye thread. Not sure on the specifics on her end with you, but I put it down to her having a really hard time. Be forgiving to yourself. xx

 

[Hollowillow]

Le is law enforcement and yes, I was super para.

Maybe she understood. There is a meme about asking members about N instead to read the tutorial, so maybe you were right. I guess you could have been friends & talk cautiously to reveal the LE... Or get a real friend. You weren't interested at the time. It sucks but probably less than the harssser girl... You didn't try to force yourself on her, you expressed your limit. So it's ok. Sometimes peole won't quit unless we're rude... I'm glad she found on her own about how to get it anyway. She left before you... I admire her resolve. I hope she won.

I had an issue with theanswer before her passing as did someone else here. It was unfortunate. She thought I was being sarcastic when I wasn't and asked me not to be on her goodbye thread. Not sure on the specifics on her end with you, but I put it down to her having a really hard time. Be forgiving to yourself. xx

I think I noticed you and knew you were a kind one. We all get cranky.