AStonePassedBy
New Member
- Jun 20, 2022
- 3
So I found myself too indifferent to try to commit suicide, especially with all the complex instructions and the possibility of things going wrong.
I have been suicidal for many years now, and it never changes. I'm aware now that I will life an utterly unfruitful life, devoid of pleasure forever. I don't have the ability to feel much of any pleasure: my body's ability to produce positive emotional reactions is now almost nonexistent. My body no longer produces emotions, really. I can't feel fear as well. There are some beneficial aspects. I just flow with things. I would say that I life with minimal resistance.
I also have the complete inability to make friends.
I could continue living, but it will just be suffering everyday forever, forever having not enough, forever being insecure, forever being inadequate, forever being unable to form friendships, forever going through the same things over and over again, forever feeling the burn of this discontentment, everyday.
I recently fully realized that the only things I value are futile, intangible, unrealistic, my intelligence and friends.
Anyhow, perhaps it's only a matter of time, or I'll just keep doing this forever.
Nothing helps.
I noticed the I've actually became even worse at making friends even though I have become a "better" person.
I also have the mindset that nothings matters, at least in an emotional sense, any which way is okay, even randomness is okay.
I have been suicidal for many years now, and it never changes. I'm aware now that I will life an utterly unfruitful life, devoid of pleasure forever. I don't have the ability to feel much of any pleasure: my body's ability to produce positive emotional reactions is now almost nonexistent. My body no longer produces emotions, really. I can't feel fear as well. There are some beneficial aspects. I just flow with things. I would say that I life with minimal resistance.
I also have the complete inability to make friends.
I could continue living, but it will just be suffering everyday forever, forever having not enough, forever being insecure, forever being inadequate, forever being unable to form friendships, forever going through the same things over and over again, forever feeling the burn of this discontentment, everyday.
I recently fully realized that the only things I value are futile, intangible, unrealistic, my intelligence and friends.
Anyhow, perhaps it's only a matter of time, or I'll just keep doing this forever.
Nothing helps.
I noticed the I've actually became even worse at making friends even though I have become a "better" person.
I also have the mindset that nothings matters, at least in an emotional sense, any which way is okay, even randomness is okay.
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