No. I love my mother (at least I think I do, since I'm honestly not really sure if I've ever been capable of caring about anything else) and she genuinely did, and continues to do, the best she can for me, but, despite how frigid this may sound, all that wouldn't amount to a hill of beans if I finally had the guts to do the damn deed and, at long last, put an end to my tiresome existence. As I've said many times before, the only things holding me back are my own fear & weakness. If those aforementioned considerations weren't a problem for me anymore, then I'd be gone as soon as tomorrow. It's certainly quite frustrating to be the only one standing in my way to freedom, but I guess that goes without saying.