Discussion Anyone think about writing a suicide note well in advance?

[BluesRunTheGame]

I mean to not be spontaneous or overly emotional when/if you write what's really brought you to this place. I'm thinking about doing it, if only as a 'just in case' thing. I used to not care about notes but since my mum died last year fairly quickly I think I should at least give my family something, even if they all know already how fucked up I am.

 

[EndlessDream]

I'm writing a decently long autobiography of my life and why I CTB'd, then I'll schedule it to be sent out via email to people like a week after the day I CTB.

 

[Source Energy]

I wrote a very detailed letter where I spilled my heart out. But I'm gonna tear it up - I'm afraid the authorities might find it, and I don't want my intimate life exposed. I don't want to embarrass its recipient. So I'll go with it buried in my heart, hoping that who has to realize what got me to this, will.

 

[EndlessDream]

I wrote a very detailed letter where I spilled my heart out. But I'm gonna tear it up - I'm afraid the authorities might find it, and I don't want my intimate life exposed. I don't want to embarrass its recipient. So I'll go with it buried in my heart, hoping that who has to realize what got me to this, will.

I might just write a private Google Docs and make a bit.ly (shortened link of it) then place it on my table. Someone will definitely find it and look it up. I can put some instructions on the phone numbers to text the link to. Also could schedule individual emails with individual links to their personalised Google Docs letters. You can schedule using Gmail and Outlook. You can just schedule it just before you CTB, it'll be a week away and authorities won't really find it.

In terms of the authorities finding it, I write everything in an encrypted virtual machine. At the same time, there's probably no one really looking everything up, but if it makes you feel safer, you can use a OpenOffice and encrypt a word document (https://www.openoffice.org/).

I use OpenOffice because the source code is available for everyone so there's less chance of someone snooping. With Microsoft Word, the code is hidden from most people so I don't know what they're doing with the text I write. With OpenOffice, the file is encrypted on the hard drive and it'll be difficult for someone to unencrypt it even if they had the file.

 

[Source Energy]

It would be too complicated for me- and I believe also for the recipient. And how will the authorities not find it, if the landlord calls the cops and everything written will be checked out?
(though idk why they do that -if someone ctb-ed, they ctb-ed, what difference does it make why....it seems so stupid to me, such a waste of time)

 

[iceyogurt]

Those are pretty good ideas @EndlessDream I think the individual emails and links would work for me.

I've been writing a sort of suicide note / explanation on and off to make it seem that it is not an impulsive decision. Though it feels like every time I come back to the document and look at what I've written it seems quite rubbish and then I scratch it and start again. I guess I haven't been blessed with any great writing talent.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I've already roughed my notes out. I think it helps mentally- just as much as buying stuff for the method. I want my solicitor to deal with a lot of the aftermath- I think it's better to have drafted their letter out in advace because it needed to contain lots of information. Better to do that in a calm state of mind.

 

[TydalWave]

You should. Both of these things were extremely therapeutic for me.

Knowing I have a way out gave me such a sense of relief, and writing letters helped me reflect about my decision.

 

[EndlessDream]

Those are pretty good ideas @EndlessDream I think the individual emails and links would work for me.

I've been writing a sort of suicide note / explanation on and off to make it seem that it is not an impulsive decision. Though it feels like every time I come back to the document and look at what I've written it seems quite rubbish and then I scratch it and start again. I guess I haven't been blessed with any great writing talent.

Might be best to email them a link to a private Google Docs instead of writing the contents in the email itself. Because in case you wanna pull out, you can always block the link and remove everything in the Google Docs, or if you accidentally send one too early and don't wanna get caught. If they do receive it and ask what happened, you can say you got hacked and it sent links to everyone in the contacts Word document viruses are pretty common as well so it's believeable.

 

[PeacefulRest]

I wrote a long suicide note. I mentioned my love and gratitude for the people in my life. I am dying to avoid a worsening of my circumstances. Death is preferable to certain kinds of suffering. I don't really want to go, and I know it'll hurt people when I do. Suicide leaves questions. I want to answer all the questions I wanted answered when my own friends and family ctb.

And then I didn't need to die right then and got an extension on my life. I will still die, almost certainly this year and possibly quite soon. In the interim and at the suggestion of a close friend who knows me and supports my decision, I extended my suicide note into a sort of death journal containing my thoughts, fears, hopes, and basically whatever popped into my head so that the people who survive me will still have a piece of me when I am gone.

I also made it clear in my note that my decision was mine and mine alone, and that I was of sound mind when I made this decision and carried out this act.

 

[EndlessDream]

I wrote a long suicide note. I mentioned my love and gratitude for the people in my life. I am dying to avoid a worsening of my circumstances. Death is preferable to certain kinds of suffering. I don't really want to go, and I know it'll hurt people when I do. Suicide leaves questions. I want to answer all the questions I wanted answered when my own friends and family ctb.

And then I didn't need to die right then and got an extension on my life. I will still die, almost certainly this year and possibly quite soon. In the interim and at the suggestion of a close friend who knows me and supports my decision, I extended my suicide note into a sort of death journal containing my thoughts, fears, hopes, and basically whatever popped into my head so that the people who survive me will still have a piece of me when I am gone.

I also made it clear in my note that my decision was mine and mine alone, and that I was of sound mind when I made this decision and carried out this act.

I've included a timeline and some meta things like what I think people will think after I die, and my thoughts and feelings. It's over 15 pages long and counting

 

[terminalending]

I've tried to write notes for individuals in my life, but it hurts to take notes and I never got far. I am thinking of dying without leaving a note, but it might be burdensome on my loved ones.

 

[RichardFirst]

I've written a few in my time as a "rehearsal", so to speak. I'm quite sure of what I want to say now, so it will be easier when and if the day comes.

 

[tryingtoescape]

I've already wrote a suicide note but I'm gonna revise it.