Anyone struggle with chronic pain?

[Ivan181]

Curious to know if anyone in here is struggling with untreatable chronic pain

 

[zekeyaeger]

Not physical yet but psychological, yes.

 

[J&L383]

Chronic, permanent, surgical body modifications which results in low level discomfort at the very least, sometimes pain. Always annoying.

 

[EternalShore]

I do know there's been some in the past, but idk if they've passed away yet~ I get headaches quite frequently and back pain sometimes, unfortunately, meaning I'm cursed in that way for when I grow old~ >_< but as of rn, it's not constant~ :)
ofc, I do get very bad depression and hopelessness frequently like many here, but more "normal" people don't tend to be as sympathetic for that as they are for chronic pain (despite claiming to be so :/)~

 

[CatLvr]

I do. And it sucks.

 

[dragonofenvy]

My feet got messed up from working a few years in a factory where you'd stand in the same exact spot, barely moving, on your feet all day on a concrete floor every single day for hours. I can barely stand for more than an hour without my feet hurting. Now I drive for my job so I'm sitting for hours at a time and my back, knees, and thighs hurt because of it and I just feel a general discomfort all the time and idk what to do about it.

 

[bye in 2021]

Curious to know if anyone in here is struggling with untreatable chronic pain

Yes, I have this - it comes and it goes although it's largely on a progressive worsening trend.
Although the rest of my life is good, this is the one thing that is most likely to motivate a successful ctb.
Have been through almost all possible investigations and treatments except one.
However that one is rather expensive and may not even work.
I sometimes tell myself that it's worth it to just keep going for as long as possible until I have the money to facilitate the treatment.
But the intervening likely lack of any likely quality of life puts me off.

I'm at the beginning of a now worsening pain crisis. Problem is that the last pain crisis basically floored me, and this one promises to be worse than last time.
This time it seems to want to bother me on Xmas day, whereas I've had now a good 5 Xmas's where it's been absent.
When crisis hits, there are only a couple of options including going to the hospital - a largely pointless endeavour because of (a) the wait times, and (b) when they find out that it's a chronic condition they just refer you to your GP. They don't even give strong painkillers at the hospital these days. I have a script for some painkillers but their efficacy is questionable, I have had access to morphine and fentanyl previously but not currently.

Major difference between previous episodes and the here-and-now is that my wife is living with me for the next month or so before she returns to her country and we initiate Spouse Visa process.
She loves the crap out of me, is so supportive and makes things easier, and she's the one current protective factor keeping me from CTB. However, the pain and discomfort is something that you always have to endure by myself, even with the most loving other present.

there is likely to come a point, in-the-not-too-distant-future, where the love for myself overrides any other potentially protective factor and I go through with a plan. My other protective factor is my own spirituality and belief in longer-term karmic consequences of self-inducing CTB, but again this would be overridden at the right time.

What characterises this as a motivator for CTB is:
The unpredictability of the disorder,
its potential to switch on-and-off at totally unknown times with unknown severity,
Its manifestation as not-only-pain, but also bodily itching, spasms and weakness,
Its known aetiology/cause but unknown treatment, suspected irreversibility.
It's suspected/likely progression to a point where I would be unable to work, care for myself, or have input into my own care.

When I feel like this, every minute I stay alive is a miracle in and of itself.

PS. My pain is chronic/widespread that was caused by a self-induced compression injury to my TMJ/jaw-joint. Been to see some TMJ specialists in my country, some have suggested surgical interventions, others say it's a case of pain management... But how does one manage unmanageable pain?

Please have a low-pain day.

 

[LostLily]

Daily migraines, back and neck pains, my tendonitis flairs up sometimes.
I'm clumsy and have sprain my ankles four times in my life so sometimes thr pain flails up in my ankles

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

My body is reaching symptoms of atrophy atp. Self-inflicted which is kind of worse. Only have theories as this pain in/on my head that makes me feel as if I'm 24/7 carrying the weight of giantass motorcycle helmet. Just all day having to "wear" it and feel the weight and pressure. Never getting to take it off. It greatly affects me mentally and affects everything really.

 

[WaffleWoman]

chronic knee pain as well as constant pain in my gut/stomach due to crohn's disease not fun

 

[Amarajoy]

Chronic illness that's why I'm here.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I suffer from chronic back and nerve pain The nerve pain is unbearable and makes me cry. I go to a pain clinic and the medicine helps BUT it's very isolating and depressing. I think people simply don't understand that it's chronic and will never go away! We never have "good" days. Soon as I wake up I'm constantly worrying when will the pain start? It's just horrible.

 

[Cavalcade]

Yes, which is why I have intermittently been prescribed opioid medication. My chronic pain is related to my genetic disorder- it's a hemorrhagic disorder, and while bruises are generally painful, the real damage comes in with joint hemorrhages, particularly those that bear weight, such as at the knee or ankle.

Essentially, you can think of it as a positive feedback loop. A bleed spontaneously occurs, leaking into the joint. This blood semi coagulates, forming the equivalent of small granules of sand free floating in the synovial fluid that lubricates normal joint movement, resulting in it rasping away at the structures like bone and cartilage, causing permanent deformation. The rasping away from the blood promotes inflammation, which causes stronger blood flow to the area, and thus more of it semi-coagulates, repeat ad nauseam until it eventually subsides due to my partially functioning defective coagulation factor gene limping to the finish line.

This causes permanent deformity issues in the impacted structures- which is why I have a varying capacity to walk, and ankles and knees that are prone to collapsing inwards randomly as well as 'sticking' with awkward grinding/clicking sounds when moved generally, especially in rotation of a joint. My shoulder is often prone to 'falling out' of alignment, and needs to be forced back into proper positioning, but I also have a previous injury that tore muscle in the area, so that doesn't help much.

My knees, ankles, wrists, and shoulders give me the most issues in terms of impacting my mobility and ability to function. This is why so many of my hobbies can be done while laying listlessly in bed- such as creative writing, or reading, or listening to music. I frequently have spontaneous hemorrhages into my eyes, which stings a lot like getting vaseline and bits of sand stuck in them, for roughly a week or so at a time as it slowly heals- I have a permanently blown vessel in the eye that looks weird and nasty at an angle.

I have some minor issues that're related- for some years I had intense, zapping/sparkling pain in relation to a near partial digit amputation, and it destroyed my ability to do art for some time because of the bad tremor it gave me. I adjusted and rehauled my entire art style to compensate for it, which was challenging, but something I'm fairly proud of. The digit still has problems with sensation, particularly detection of temperature and pressure, but looks basically normal.

An active bleed in a particularly vicious feedback loop leaves me unable to talk with how bad the pain is- the sort of pain that has you sweating and shaking all over, blinded as your mouth is twisted open and you're fighting to gasp for air, too choked out and strangled by agony to even draw enough breath to scream.

I experience a constant, ever present baseline of pain. The cruel joke is that I am unable to take NSAIDs, which cover common prescription and over the counter pain medications, as they induce hemorrhages with my condition. I have to resort to primarily using Tylenol or rationed out codeine to cut the edge off- most of the time, I just choose to suffer stoically through the pain, because if I always treated my symptoms, with as much medication as I need to not feel the pain: I would fry my liver in less than two days. The intensity and quality of the pain varies- I can't stand sharp, stabbing, tearing pain of fresh internal hemorrhages, and much prefer the dull, radiating ache of healing hemorrhages or long term joint damage.

It has definitely changed me. I am not the same person as I was before I experienced a double knee joint blowout- with severe internal bleeds in both, resulting in the joints temporarily becoming frozen in a curled, locked positioning: not unlike a spider's death curl. The chronic pain seeps into all of my life, and is punctuated only by intermittent stabs of acute agony, never any real relief. It exhausts me.

It is a deeply heavy burden to bear, and a genetic legacy I refuse to hand down to children- which is why I'm not having any, in large part- because I cannot, and will not, inflict this type of lifelong, incurable agony onto an innocent being. There is no cure for my genetic disorder, treatment is exorbitantly expensive and comes with its own host of issues, and the damage is progressive, accumulative. I will not doom someone else to existing in such intense pain, not like how my biological parents did unto me, because they refused a genetic screening when conceiving casually and thoughtlessly, while knowing they were both at extremely high risk of passing down a defective allele that would result in a badly disabled child, due to a family history and personal genetic defects.

Chronic pain is so relentless. It steals so much from you. I wouldn't wish it onto anyone.

 

[Tig]

To much to list here, chronic pain is the worst though, been through so many medications over the years, nothing works for to long or it makes you stupid and increases addiction problems.
Deal with death or live in chronic pain, the pain will take you in end.
As you get older it will get worse, trust me !!!

 

[davidtorez]

Yes . This is the main reason why I'm here on this forum. Chronic pain and disabilities since 2018. Osteoarthritis in both big toes. Osteoarthritis in my right knee . Right ankle pain , not sure what the diagnosis is, I haven't bothered to check why. Right elbow tendonosis. Right Achilles tendon tendonosis. Cyst in my right wrist from injury, and tendon damage . Sometimes the left shoulder ac joint arthritis kicks in, but not often luckily. I'm literally falling apart and can't enjoy life

 

[Kta1994]

Yes it's the reason I have to ctb I wish I could live