My thoughts on this exactly. I was raised a Christian my whole life, and was basically just sort of passive about the whole thing growing up, and didn't really understand it, but appreciated that Jesus came into the world and died for my sins, so I could be "saved". However, now that I'm older, and experienced firsthand the awful suffering that is inevitable in this world, I totally get it now. We were doomed from the start, because of the corruption of sin, which made us susceptible to pain, suffering, and death, and that is exactly the opposite of what God intended. We were supposed to be perfect and immortal, until Satan brought sin into the world and corrupted everything, and the penalty of that is death and suffering. That is why God sent His only son Jesus into the world to pay for all of our sins by dying on the cross and redeeming all of us, giving us a chance to live again on the new Earth God has in store for us, in total bliss and harmony for eternity as immortals, where this is no pain, suffering, disease (either mental or physical) or death, the way He originally intended.
If you take the time and research the repercussions of the sin of suicide, 95% of it will tell you that even the sin of suicide is covered by having faith in Jesus. Humans aren't perfect and God knows this. The only unpardonable sin is rejecting Christ and His grace entirely.
Anyway that's where I'm at, I can't take living in this fallen world any longer, and I trust in the Lord that He'll reserve a place for me in Heaven, until the second coming of Jesus and the new "perfect" Earth is created.