Jacquelyn

Jacquelyn

hellworld_kickflip888
Feb 23, 2019
107
Is anyone gonna have some fun before they CTB? Go out and party? Travel around? Do things you've always wanted to do? This makes me think... Could you easily get a small loan, blow it all on fun, and then CTB before paying it back? Or run up a massive credit card bill and then CTB? Definitely an attractive idea for those that can get approved for such things.

Tell me your plans!

My biggest motive for finally catching the bus is this trip I'm planning.
My final wish is for this trip to go as planned. I have almost $10k coming to me. If my money gets into my account when it should, nothing should be stopping me.
I plan to go to one state, chill in an amazing AirBnB in huge city with all my friends, get some DXM (for my cough, of course) and alcohol, and just do literally anything we want for a week. I'll have plenty of cash. We can go anywhere and do anything at any time. After that's over with, I fly to another state to hang out with another friend and his siblings. Legal cannabis and rum all day baby. Probably going to stay for over a week since he's my best friend and I won't have to pay $1,000 for an AirBnB over there. Then I'm headed back to my home state and getting an AirBnB in a big city for two weeks. My friend from another state is gonna drive over and stay for the first 7-10 days. Constant partying will ensue. After that, he leaves and I CTB.

The second my transactions go through for the AirBnBs and plane tickets, I'll probably start crying like a bitch. It's going to be the equivalent of an angel coming down to earth and telling me everything's gonna be alright.

So anyways, tell me your plans.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
So anyways, tell me your plans.

I envy you that you have friends to do things with. I've lived and worked on five continents and don't have a single (other) human being I can contact. I'm not "old," but I think I understand why some old people say they're ready--that they've done everything they wanted to do, that the people they want to be around are all gone. I think my "fun" is waaaay behind me. I plan to ctb when i get the next piece of major bad news or I run out of cash.

Enjoy hanging with your friends. I think that must be one of the best things life offers.
 
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Jacquelyn

Jacquelyn

hellworld_kickflip888
Feb 23, 2019
107
I think my "fun" is waaaay behind me. I plan to ctb when i get the next piece of major bad news or I run out of cash.
Good luck to you. I hope you find at least some enjoyability at some point in the rest of your time here.
 
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E

Exile

Predator, criminal, emotional blackmailer
Jan 28, 2019
181
I have a big trip planned beginning about a month from now. I hope to finish everything about a month after that.
 
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WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,452
I'm in too much pain to do any big traveling, unfortunately. I would like to go to the beach and the moutains one last time. Luckily, I live pretty close to the blue ridge mountains.

I'm planning to leave my money to my husband (since i'm leaving him with the mortgage) and brother (since i'm putting taking care of my parents when they get old all on him).
 
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FaceOfSilence

FaceOfSilence

Shhhh...
Feb 24, 2019
40
One thing i am considering is maybe unusual, but i think it has some kind of meaning to me.

Either way, for the last 3 years the main source of my entertainment was Twitch, mostly 3 very specific broadcasters (very small, 5-50 viewers on average) with whom i've become friends, they know my story and will probably understand what happened if i'd disappear one day.

Anyway, i'm planning to setup automatic subscription to those 3 for as long my bank account has funds/is active and maybe drop a big donation if there is a reason? I never actually spent any real money on TTV but yeah.

I've been thinking what else i can spend money on, but i am really that disinterested in everything and besides i don't have much money anyway. I tried buying some nice alcohol when i started experimenting with methods (goddamn sweet spot man) but i couldn't enjoy it for some reason and so i poured it into the sink.
 
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Wolfjob_dayjob

Wolfjob_dayjob

Student
Oct 19, 2018
190
Yes! I am trying to reach a low BMI because if I can't be happy then..then you know.
 
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Wolfjob_dayjob

Wolfjob_dayjob

Student
Oct 19, 2018
190
One thing i am considering is maybe unusual, but i think it has some kind of meaning to me.

Either way, for the last 3 years the main source of my entertainment was Twitch, mostly 3 very specific broadcasters (very small, 5-50 viewers on average) with whom i've become friends, they know my story and will probably understand what happened if i'd disappear one day.

Anyway, i'm planning to setup automatic subscription to those 3 for as long my bank account has funds/is active and maybe drop a big donation if there is a reason? I never actually spent any real money on TTV but yeah.

I've been thinking what else i can spend money on, but i am really that disinterested in everything and besides i don't have much money anyway. I tried buying some nice alcohol when i started experimenting with methods (goddamn sweet spot man) but i couldn't enjoy it for some reason and so i poured it into the sink.
I love watching twitch! I found a Drag twitch I like last week. Posthumous donations would be so nice but I bet they like you alive being around in the chat with or without donations too! Sorry you're here, but you are do generous in the face of your pain you know?
 
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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
yes i want to, but maybe it's best not to set a date for ctb then. to me ctb seems way easier when done in a 'clear' mood of everlasting depression
 
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Kikoo Loool

Kikoo Loool

Enlightened
Feb 25, 2019
1,128
I'd like to have new sexual experiences with prostitutes. I already had sex with a black one last year, I wish I'll have rimming and feet fetish sex with a blond one this year.
 
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P

Psilo

Arcanist
Dec 29, 2018
482
Psilocybin trip for me, I'm educating myself with magic mushrooms. It's a bonus for me if I can find them in the wild.
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
665
Already am. Stopped working almost 8 months ago. Having a time of my life. Not having to interact with anyone. But alas such life wont last.
 
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lululoo

lululoo

Mage
Dec 15, 2018
558
Yes! I am trying to reach a low BMI because if I can't be happy then..then you know.
I so relate. I have struggled with weight and body image all my life. As of about 6 months ago I was my thinnest ever and was still only like a 20 BMI. I would love to know what it's like to be actually thin, and I have had thoughts of trying to get there before I go. Unfortunately I have been failing, just totally emotionally eating. It's possible if I quit my horrible job which I want to do anyway, that maybe then I could get the eating under control. I also wonder, what if getting thinner helped my chronic pain? Shouldn't I try?

I'm too depressed and physically unwell to go have fun anyway... so the best I could do before I go is just not work (that'd be a relief) and for fun I could either eat or get thin. Ha. Depending.
 
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Jacquelyn

Jacquelyn

hellworld_kickflip888
Feb 23, 2019
107
Anyway, i'm planning to setup automatic subscription to those 3 for as long my bank account has funds/is active and maybe drop a big donation if there is a reason?

This is a great idea. I'm going to try to do the same with a few small broadcasters, but sadly I don't think either of the main two I'm thinking of even stream anymore :/

One in particular means a lot to me because of two reasons 1. He streams even if he knows I'll be the only person watching 2. He donated $100 to me so I could get an Elgato after I sent a message about asking for donations to a bunch of Steam friends (I was about 14 and obsessed with getting money for streaming/recording equipment and apparently I didn't realize doing this was super dumb and annoying of me). I swiftly got scammed for $60 and spent the rest on Steam games (He definitely noticed me buying the games). I went on to use the same tactics as the guy who scammed me and got $500 in a month by "selling" stuff on Twitter. It doesn't work anymore, no one falls for it. But anyways, yeah. Good ol times.
 
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Jacquelyn

Jacquelyn

hellworld_kickflip888
Feb 23, 2019
107
Psilocybin trip for me, I'm educating myself with magic mushrooms. It's a bonus for me if I can find them in the wild.
Be careful, some wild mushrooms look like magic mushrooms, but are poisonous.
You can also buy 4-ACO-DMT which converts to psilocin in the body. It's a legal "research chemical".
Anyways, I might end up trying acid before I go.
 
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Jacquelyn

Jacquelyn

hellworld_kickflip888
Feb 23, 2019
107
Yes! I am trying to reach a low BMI because if I can't be happy then..then you know.
I've lost 20lbs since New Year's by eating once a day. For the past week I've been slacking off and it's pissing me off cause I wanna look half decent for this trip of mine. Currently 224lbs, need to get to 200lbs in the next 29 days. Not gonna happen.
 
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P

Psilo

Arcanist
Dec 29, 2018
482
Be careful, some wild mushrooms look like magic mushrooms, but are poisonous.
Yes I heard about Galerinas Autumnalis, that have the same amatoxin as Anamitas Phalloides, a deadly one. These look like Psilocybe Cyanescens, but I live in the countryside in Europe near cow fields. If I find any it would most likely be some Panaelous or Psilo. Semilanceata. Anyways I have the book from Stamets, I'm well informed on that :P.

You can also buy 4-ACO-DMT which converts to psilocin in the body. It's a legal "research chemical".
I won't use synthetic drugs, I want to rebond with nature. Can't afford it anyways, this crap costs at least 90€ the gram.
 
DivorceIsMyWhy

DivorceIsMyWhy

Member
Feb 27, 2019
23
I used to like to cars, boating, travel, tennis and skiing. Divorce ruined all of the things I used to do for myself; and socially with friends and family.

There is nothing left that brings me any true sense of joy.

#DivorceIsMyWhy
 
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DrownedOctopus

DrownedOctopus

Experienced
Mar 2, 2019
246
I plan to do a bunch of things I've never done before.
Heroin. Skydiving. Swimming with sharks.
Things that have the potential to kill me but sound enjoyable. At least if those things kill me, it would save me the trouble. Generally stuff I would probably think twice about doing if I intended to stay alive.
 
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C

Cookiedough8956

Wowzers
Feb 24, 2019
636
Most definitely! Cross off my bucket list, one by one. As quick as possible.
 
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T

time2go

Student
Mar 5, 2019
126
There's alot I'd like too do but lack the motivation for various reasons.

If I could make my family and few friends smile one last time that would be enough for me too go out in peace.
 
O

Onomotopoeia

Experienced
Feb 8, 2019
264
This has always been kind of a dream of mine but I have nobody to do anything with. Yes, I would like to have something of a party before I go though. Try some new drugs, revisit some old ones, spend some time on a beach and just have a blast. There was someone semi local who posted in the partners thread who mentioned doing drugs and partying before hand was inclined to send a message even though i'm not super fond of the partners thing.

So if i had a friend sure, if not probably just at trip to vegas.
 
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dollhospital

dollhospital

Member
Mar 4, 2019
6
I'd love to party with my best friend one last time, but I think I'd be worried that it would make me hesitant to ctb. Almost like it'd make the guilt worse, I guess, even though its my body, my choice.
 
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Pepega

Pepega

Betaman
Mar 2, 2019
101
imma finish witcher 3 again, eat unhealthy foods, and maybe go to a rock concert and get shit faced
 
meaningisgone

meaningisgone

Student
Feb 17, 2019
112
If your goal is to die, I'd be careful about using psychedelics or dissociatives during your final hurrah, especially if your plan is to build up copious debt that you don't plan to deal with. I've had experiences on those kinds of substances that have been known to trigger in me an overpowering will to live from time to time. :)
 
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YukiFox

YukiFox

Pastel demon
Dec 8, 2018
320
The day before or even the same day of my death I want to have sex with someone.
 
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L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,134
I'm trying to make some money. Then of course use it on food and gaming mainly. Most of things in life are shit and life sucks so I'm distracting myself until ctb or death.
 
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Gray Wounds

Gray Wounds

A Phantasmagoria
Jun 27, 2018
575
My plans are simple. First of, I would like to really finish reading the books on my small shelf (progress: 40/100) because I still have the time to do so (thanks to my insanity), get even with those who have wronged me (because man, they really need to know that I might be suicidal but I can also destroy them---mainly because i have proof of what they did--- and expose them for the bitches they are, write everything I want to write and progress on this certain talent of mine, and lastly, have fun and give my own meaning of love to my cats.
 
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