Venting Anyone here suffering from psychosis?

[huggablewinter]

I have lost touch with reality on a few occasions now, and my last break left me on some strong meds. They make me restless and they don't touch the depression and anxiety that I feel. I feel scared that I'm going to die or just psychotically I'll have a thought that I've lived too long.

I know I've been on these forums a lot for someone who truly wants to live. I am scared, really, that I will lose touch with reality and become violent to myself. I've had the thoughts before and they scare me. I never had these thoughts before the medication and I'm wondering if it's the medication. I have an appointment the 3rd with my doc but I'm afraid if I mention my thoughts he will want me to check in somewhere. It'd be okay it's just at this point it's a waste of money. I know I want to live but my mind is playing tricks on me.

Anyway, I'm just wondering if any of you have had psychosis or depression with psychotic features, and what, if anything, helped you.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Feel free to pm me about your experiences with psychosis I'm happy to discuss any experiences I've had.

 

[Jc40]

I had but was to do with bugs and insects and being followed.... did put myself in danger but it came ok, I wasnt violent so I don't think can help

 

[Walilamdzi]

@Jc40 That sounds interesting, what happened regarding insects? I just felt like I was in a kind of unreality, like my surroundings were a videogame / movie set or something. As such, I wasn't behaving how I usually would do in public. It was more random and confusing that that. Didn't experience anything to do with violence either.

 

[Jc40]

Yeah I can't express it all but I started seeing black bits in bed, I touched them and felt like gravel, I was convinced my flat was infested and on me too, I was collecting samples, I felt them on me, I felt crawling (still do sometimes) and biting, nobody took me seriously. At mums I remember a insect, sort of like a butterfly come moth, it looked evil, I saw green things too on windowsill, I was saying to my family you have morgellons and I thought I had it, was constantly looking under covers, I couldn't sleep, it was horrible. When I stop the olanzapine it comes back so I wonder sometimes about it being real

 

[Boonks]

Yep it's the whole reason I'm suicidal. Not putting up with this shit. And pharmaceuticals makes everything even worse.

 

[Jenna]

I bet it's the meds. If you aren't sleeping that will compound it too. It can distort all reality.

 

[Marawa]

From my personal experience - my psychosis turned out to be caused by a UTI. My symptoms were only the very scary psychosis. So it could even be a physical issue. Please get it checked & yea worst carefully word your symptoms ur be honest. I can't even tell you the crazy shit I experienced during that time when it for full blown

 

[jules18]

I've had several extremely intense psychotic episodes. It was something amazing and other worldly, experiences I wouldn't trade for anything else in life. It convinced me that there is an afterlife and it revealed to me the nature and origins of religions.

 

[Iceangel]

I bet it's the meds. If you aren't sleeping that will compound it too. It can distort all reality.

This ^ your bodys overworked and drugged. You cant care for your mind if your body is suffering. Even if its not the meds sleep deprivation is classified as torture for a reason. Itll drive you mad over time.