Anyone estranged from their mother - am just becoming estranged from mine...

[LittleJem]

I am feeling a wrench and guilt estranging from my mother, but she only adds stress to my life and left the country when I was desperately ill and hasn't offered me a roof over my head since my marriage broke down. I was bedridden for a year at my dad's with mental illness (it was the reason my marriage broke down, rather than caused by the marriage breaking down). Then recently I have been bullied at work. My mum always questions every decision I make, gaslights me, has opinions about my life that don't refer to what I think or feel, doesn't listen, doesn't have empathy, doesn't give me emotional support and also will say things that aren't true all the time.

It is her mental illness, and I have been keeping in touch with her for years, having time out sometimes, then coming back for more. I have done my best to be a good daughter and to love my mother regardless.

But when she didn't give me a roof over my head or look after me when I couldn't make myself a cup of tea- I told her many times I am at the end of my line and the end of my trust.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I personally don't feel much towards it. And they know I'm going to get a restraining order if they ever talk to me again. The way I see it is you hurt me why should I feel sorry for removing toxicity from my life.
I'm really sorry for what you're going through though. I also understand that it can be difficult. My father tried to come back into my life at 18 and its been hurting me that it just hasn't been working out

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm estranged from mine, have been for years. Yours has a lot of similarities to mine. Mine has also proven unworthy of my trust, and utterly unwilling to change. I no longer return to the slot machine of hope. It's much saner not being in contact. No one talks much if at all about questioning every decision, that was one of the most frustrating, nearly daily things about my mother.

 

[woxihuanni]

There is a single person in the world who can truly care about you once you are an adult, and that person is the one you have regular sex with.

 

[sufferingalways]

I'm estranged from both parents (since 1999) and my brother. Xmas hurts like hell with the fake happiness on tv.. so now I don't watch tv when that starts. Toxic .. don't need it. Best move i made. Thanks to the lovely counselling lady who opened my eyes to cutting ties in 1999.

I'm estranged from mine, have been for years. Yours has a lot of similarities to mine. Mine has also proven unworthy of my trust, and utterly unwilling to change. I no longer return to the slot machine of hope. It's much saner not being in contact. No one talks much if at all about questioning every decision, that was one of the most frustrating, nearly daily things about my mother.

Sorry to hear that about your mother too.

 

[sufferingalways]

I am feeling a wrench and guilt estranging from my mother, but she only adds stress to my life and left the country when I was desperately ill and hasn't offered me a roof over my head since my marriage broke down. I was bedridden for a year at my dad's with mental illness (it was the reason my marriage broke down, rather than caused by the marriage breaking down). Then recently I have been bullied at work. My mum always questions every decision I make, gaslights me, has opinions about my life that don't refer to what I think or feel, doesn't listen, doesn't have empathy, doesn't give me emotional support and also will say things that aren't true all the time.

It is her mental illness, and I have been keeping in touch with her for years, having time out sometimes, then coming back for more. I have done my best to be a good daughter and to love my mother regardless.

But when she didn't give me a roof over my head or look after me when I couldn't make myself a cup of tea- I told her many times I am at the end of my line and the end of my trust.

Sorry to hear that she wasn't there for you. It still sucks the life out of me when I try to face some issues regarding mine. Its okay to walk away. We're human and our tolerance has its limits. Be the best you can for the people who matter. Including yourself.

 

[LittleJem]

I'm estranged from mine, have been for years. Yours has a lot of similarities to mine. Mine has also proven unworthy of my trust, and utterly unwilling to change. I no longer return to the slot machine of hope. It's much saner not being in contact. No one talks much if at all about questioning every decision, that was one of the most frustrating, nearly daily things about my mother.

I like that phrase, 'the slot machine of hope'.
Mine keeps texting me, but if I see her it will be just the same. But I still keep hoping. I don't want to see her though, I know that. I'm not putting myself through it again.