Does anyone else suffer from crippling anxiety in the context of online communications? I can barely even post on online forums because of this.
yep, terrified of posting, Alerts notifications, seeing replies to one of my messages, etc. same IRL, i have a long history of saying clueless, offensive, and/or insensitive stuff, so i've learned to avoid it generally.
i have to be so high on opiates/benzos to click the Post Reply button that whatever i'm writing is a stab in the dark. nevermind typos, i can barely follow my own train of thought let alone anyone else's. occasionally nod off when i write, "wake up" in the middle of posts (w/a huge string of whatever key i last pressed down, gah). takes a long time to smooth things out as best i can, but i usually don't send; if i do, i'll inevitably want to delete it later but the timeout expires. (hell, i don't even know if it's meaningful to communicate at all because my state of mind, POV, perception of self and the OP and the topic --
everything changes constantly anyway.) so i don't know what i'm doing, don't know if i can understand things. it's painful to post, but sometimes i'm compelled to trade isolation for shame and fear. like this, i always just end up rambling.
but i don't know what to do about it. i've had communication anxiety for 30+ years online and IRL, and only strong sedatives/anxiolytics work for me. sorry you have it too. <3 i hope that it gets easier over time for you -- a lot of people have said that it gets better eventually, just not for everyone. grateful that there are so many rich personalities and insightful posts here though, makes lurking meaningful and rewarding. anyway, you're not alone.