Venting Anyone else unable to have good relationships because your parents fucked you up?

[Pubert]

I was in a 5 month relationship that I felt miserable in, during and after it ended. We both had problems with our parents that made it hard to display affection towards each other. Ironic how even though we could relate to each other so well, we made each other miserable.

 

[SlowSnow]

Legit same. My mom show me when i was 7 or 8 years old hardcore pornography because she thought that ws funny. She always told me that nobody will ever love me etc etc. It brainwashed me to this day. Now i found a guy i really adore but she forced me to break up with him. She really fucked me up. There was so many things in my childhood that traumatize me because of her.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Hmm it's very well possible that my parents divorcing due to my dad being a total narcissistic asshole made me incredibly clingy and overly romantic for the idea of a stable and good romantic relationship which is what has made it impossible for me to even be able to enter a relationship at all.

Too bad there's nothing I can really do about it now. Having been single for this long is considered a red flag.

 

[its-about-time]

Yup. Desperate desire to feel loved, but inability to feel that love even when someone consistently shows it to me. So. Doesn't really work out. Leads to a lot of instability and hurts the person who loves me. Everyone is better off not interacting with me.

 

[Hollowman]

Yup. Desperate desire to feel loved, but inability to feel that love even when someone consistently shows it to me. So. Doesn't really work out. Leads to a lot of instability and hurts the person who loves me. Everyone is better off not interacting with me.

Same here

 

[its-about-time]

Same here

I'm sorry. It's really just torture. It's like being a fish in water with tape over its gills. I'd never wish it on anyone. I just feel so fucked up. I've been shown such amazing love by amazing people, and I loved them with my whole heart, but I could never feel it in return on an emotional level, even though I knew logically how they felt… it's just sad and lonely. Like what's wrong with me. Am I missing some chunk in my brain. Childhood relationships with my parents are supposedly to blame but I've never fixed it even a little through years and years of therapy. Ugh. I'm so sorry you can relate.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

In my case I always try to get from relationships what my parents didn't give me in childhood and I always end up never being reciprocated in the same way. I always fall in love but the other person doesn't. I stopped trying.

 

[stellabelle]

Oh big time.

Going on and on and on forever until everything is just completely ruined thanks to stupidity.

And then I've done stupid shit, or had stupid shit happen, and it just goes bad to worse. I am not stupid, but I have had too many problems and traumatizing experiences to really cope with or survive. I've had too many mental breakdowns and unnecessary turmoil. I have also caused those things to happen to others because of my problems. Not fair or "fun" or "happy."

Disassociate mentally. You separate your body from your mind, your mind goes into a different loop of insanity on repeat, and you kick yourself until you sleep, repeat… not fun

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Never felt loved as a kid which left me lonely and distracted and anxious in adulthood

 

[hans0solo]

I relate. dealing with narcissistic and abusive parents that don't show me love or attention. I always fought for that but got nothing in return. I eventually realized that trying to be smart was not going to make people like me. just the opposite. I'm not conventually attractive or tall which makes things easier. So I was just ignored my people. I don't seem to draw people to me. I don't seem to understand how to 'make friends'.

 

[Risperdead]

yes, but parents are only part of problems