Anonymoususer1234
Experienced
- Apr 13, 2023
- 225
I'm not suicidal enough to die, not happy or social or hopeful enough to actually live. I'm just kinda here. Rotting.
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Darkover
Archangel
- Jul 29, 2021
- 5,471
me too but if i had N here i would for 100 percent drink it right now
Rymrgand
Not in SaSu anymore. DM me if you need me
- Jan 5, 2025
- 245
I kinda get it, yes. I feel like I still have a bit of irrational hope, so I don't think I can do it right. For better or for worse, tho, I'm getting more suicidal, so I feel like I'm going to do it someday, even if not soon. For now, I'm preparing my method, so I can CTB when I want to.
I've tried and failed before, and it was painful and exhausting and now I want to do it but I don't want to go through that pain again. I'm not willing to do the things that would definitely work, like jumping or drowning, but I can't get the painless and peaceful drugs either. So I'm just in this limbo position now, kind of hoping that I develop some terminal disease like other family members have.
Are you sure about that? I thought the same about my exit bag. I think setting a date will help me. I hope that I will have the courage tp go trough. All I need to do is to mechanically carry out my steps over 5min. Either it is the so called SI or me being a chicken (which is more likely)
Darkover
Archangel
- Jul 29, 2021
- 5,471
i've lived with a severe brain injury for 8 years now i've been ready everyday for the last 8 year's to kill my self if it wasn't for governmental restrictions on peaceful suicide methods i would be long gone believe me there is nothing i want from this universe except to be nothing for all time
ma0
How did I get here?
- Dec 20, 2024
- 598
My SI and chronic procrastination make it so that it's basically impossible for me to find the courage to commit.
iamgonnadie
Member
- Jan 7, 2024
- 17
That book "five last acts" I did come back to read again. It did bring back my anxiety that I will fail my CTB method.
I want to live life normally, like anyone else. Though stuff what I want. I don't do anything illegal. I am also nice to people who are not friendly.
How can I overcome this anxiety of failing or is it SI????
I want to live life normally, like anyone else. Though stuff what I want. I don't do anything illegal. I am also nice to people who are not friendly.
How can I overcome this anxiety of failing or is it SI????
