Anyone else truly hope their CTB cause pain and suffering for the ones who want them to live?

[HelpDoesNotExist]

Those around me keep me alive by restricting my finances and access and monitoring to make sure I'll be looked for if I'm gone too long, despite knowing the full extent of my constant suffering all day every day are not acting out of love but out of ignorance and malice regardless of what they pretend
They attach false hope that isn't there to my hopeless, nightmarish circumstances that result in my existence being nothing but torture at almost all times because they themselves don't have the first-hand experience, don't do basic research, and don't want to look bad by having a dead kid.
This results in only animosity on my part. That I hide, like I do from the entire world, soley out of self-preservation instinct to avoid being hospitalized or other circumstances.
They put absolute faith in useless therapies and doctors who do nothing but prove themselves unreliable and incompetent and untrustworthy solely for their own gain, to maintain their own inaccurate worldview informed only by personal bias and outdated experience from a world gone forever long ago they were privileged enough to enjoy

Anyone who is not immediately offering a painless and instant CTB is only interested in continuing my suffering. And any they feel after I finally escape despite their efforts they deserve.

 

[Kalista]

yes

 

[kyhoti]

No. I hope I go quietly and people forget quickly.

 

[ThisIsMe1357]

I do not wish for anything similar, either. It would be my suffering that is supposed to end, anyone else's suffering would be unnecessary and it would not achieve anything good in the world.

 

[KillingPain267]

Sometimes. But at other times I wish I just died of natural causes. But while I feel the same about those who want to keep me alive, I still don't wish them harm. Most of the time I am just indifferent though, because I focus more on thinking about ending MY suffering, not other people's suffering.

 

[boingo]

Yes, no one has the right to force someone to stay alive when their suffering can't be alleviated.

 

[BlackDoor]

No. Opposite for me. If there was a button to erase my entire existence where no one would have any memory of me ever being here, it would be the most ideal for me.

 

[spentspirit]

Yeah I mean I do want people to suffer to be honest, but that's shitty of me because I have borderline. It's also why I need to go.

 

[EternalSummer]

thankfully enough I was able to plan my ctb without arousing any suspicion, for all they know, i'm a happy bird that's about to graduate this year. You have to play their game if you wanna win, you better stop talking about death and show them some sign of improvements or what not. If you talk about killing yourself all day they will watch you like a hawk.