Anyone else too lazy and depressed to actually do it?

[throwaway123]

I feel that my extreme social anxiety and my laziness is getting in the way of my suicide unfortunately a public bridge is my only option........

How do you know when you're "ready" ?
What does it feel like?
How can I become "ready"? Any tips? I already tried fucking my life up even more it didn't work. Death is the only option left for me.

I don't want to be stuck here for another year after year........
Life is not fair. Not even in death.

 

[borntodie777]

Yeah me, too depressed to live, even more depressed to die

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

Death isn't the only option left for you.

 

[21Neberg]

Get comfortable with the bridge! Get to know it, then get ready to jump. Don't do this in ten minutes, thats impossible. Go over there a couple of times and get comfortable with the idea of jumping off it so that when you do decide to go through with it, your survival instinct is the only obstacle.

 

[Terminally drunk]

yep same. ma mate singingntherain did the argon method an so far i think it worked. i got the cops looking for his van atm. its just saving the dam money for it all. and then trying to hide it and all the other bullshit involved.

 

[dysfunctional]

Pretty much. I end up doing other self destructive things as a half measure most times.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I feel that my extreme social anxiety and my laziness is getting in the way of my suicide unfortunately a public bridge is my only option........

How do you know when you're "ready" ?
What does it feel like?
How can I become "ready"? Any tips? I already tried fucking my life up even more it didn't work. Death is the only option left for me.

I don't want to be stuck here for another year after year........
Life is not fair. Not even in death.

You have to be in a really bad state of mind I attempted suicide once and I tried to take the Benadryl route took 32 don't do that by the way you'll regret it and you won't die even though deep down I want to die but I don't think I can CTB because my partner decided to change his mind for his kid which is a good thing and I am more or less staying for my family and friends despite the fact I still want to die sometimes I wished someone would murder me with a shotgun to the back of the skull.

 

[bigj75]

Pretty much. I end up doing other self destructive things as a half measure most times.

I relate to this so much

 

[Nephis]

Every night I wish I could just die in my sleep

 

[Redt2go]

It sounds like youryo trying to force yourself to be ready
And yeah I just read so many stories of people that tried and lived and I think that would kill me even more inside to finally be ready to die then fail

 

[Nephis]

It sounds like youryo trying to force yourself to be ready
And yeah I just read so many stories of people that tried and lived and I think that would kill me even more inside to finally be ready to die then fail

Rather finding a way to truly die without being alert of it would be impossible but it would be so nice to just die in your sleep

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

same

too pathetic to live

too pathetic to die

 

[OnlyMercy]

The mere thought of a life in my current depressing state for 50+ years is enough to give me impetus to research and acquire any means necessary to end this miserable life in a peaceful way.

 

[Hunter]

This whole thing sounds like survival instinct and having a method that's unrealistically difficult to do. Jumping and guns are usually too terrifying for most people to pull off. As for survival instinct....I think as a rule your level of mental/physical pain has to reach a point that surpasses fear or guilt. The things that create these conditions differ from person to person.

 

[bigj75]

That's why you gotta get low inhibition and take drugs and alcohol to full your energy and lower survival instinct.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

i think a lot of people here - including me - are just phlegmatic, apathetic and tend to procrastinate

characteristics that make your life shit but ironically also prevent you from suicide.

researching became just a nice execuse for procrastination for me. its not that difficult to kill yourself even though there is - ofc - no perfect method. pain and the risk of failure will always be there. and no amount of research will change this.

a lot of this middle aged men (highest suicide rate) were very active in their life before. when they saw a problem they not endured ir, they solved it.

and when they get 50, midlife crisis, they just take a bottle of whiskey, a rope or a gun and get over it. they dont "research", they just do it.

im not one of those. i want to die since years and i could easily afford n, drive a few hours to a place high enough to jump or just put a rope around my neck. yet i cant even be bothered to understand how transform money into bitcoins to order n.

why? because i just dont get things done.

 

[Xerxes]

You'll eventually come around to it. Something will click inside and you will have that resolve to either live or die because right now, you're in the same wavelength as you were before. It's different for everyone. You'll get sick of it and sometimes our psyche can make that change happen.

 

[bigj75]

i think a lot of people here - including me - are just phlegmatic, apathetic and tend to procrastinate

characteristics that make your life shit but ironically also prevent you from suicide.

researching became just a nice execuse for procrastination for me. its not that difficult to kill yourself even though there is - ofc - no perfect method. pain and the risk of failure will always be there. and no amount of research will change this.

a lot of this middle aged men (highest suicide rate) were very active in their life before. when they saw a problem they not endured ir, they solved it.

and when they get 50, midlife crisis, they just take a bottle of whiskey, a rope or a gun and get over it. they dont "research", they just do it.

im not one of those. i want to die since years and i could easily afford n, drive a few hours to a place high enough to jump or just put a rope around my neck. yet i cant even be bothered to understand how transform money into bitcoins to order n.

why? because i just dont get things done.

Good post. I feel the same.

 

[Redt2go]

i think a lot of people here - including me - are just phlegmatic, apathetic and tend to procrastinate

characteristics that make your life shit but ironically also prevent you from suicide.

researching became just a nice execuse for procrastination for me. its not that difficult to kill yourself even though there is - ofc - no perfect method. pain and the risk of failure will always be there. and no amount of research will change this.

a lot of this middle aged men (highest suicide rate) were very active in their life before. when they saw a problem they not endured ir, they solved it.

and when they get 50, midlife crisis, they just take a bottle of whiskey, a rope or a gun and get over it. they dont "research", they just do it.

im not one of those. i want to die since years and i could easily afford n, drive a few hours to a place high enough to jump or just put a rope around my neck. yet i cant even be bothered to understand how transform money into bitcoins to order n.

why? because i just dont get things done.

Shhhh why you so loud

 

[Redt2go]

You'll eventually come around to it. Something will click inside and you will have that resolve to either live or die because right now, you're in the same wavelength as you were before. It's different for everyone. You'll get sick of it and sometimes our psyche can make that change happen.

Agreed I was thinking earlier that I don't want to rush but I don't want to spend years of my life on this site and never do it. I feel like I'm coming to a point where I've researched and researched. Researched methods. Researched reasons not to die. Researched the afterlife. Prayed for death to just happen. This site has been particularly useful because I don't think I would've known about sn and how cheap it was. I do know for sure that I don't want to go through another round of Christmas, summer holidays etc as they are lonely and will be even more lonely in coming years

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Prayed for death to just happen

Been there, and I'm not religious.

I don't want to go through another round of Christmas

Yeah, me neither. The last one was the most horrible one, and it was my fault.

 

[Redt2go]

D

Been there, and I'm not religious.



Yeah, me neither. The last one was the most horrible one, and it was my fault.

Dann what happened

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Dann what happened

Made my mother cry. Didn't mean to. It's a long family story... Always endured all the uncomfortable things to make her happy, but then just couldn't anymore. Now I feel guilty knowing that I will ctb after being a stupid idiot. But that's life...

 

[ReadyasEver]

Don't be so hard on yourself. I know, easy to say and difficult to do. Be at peace my friend, take a deep breathe and collect your thoughts.

 

[Moms_Spaghetti]

This is what makes depression so bad. You want to die but don't have the motivation. This is why the first couple weeks of starting antidepressants can be dangerous because they can bring back motivation before they lift the depression causing increases in suicides. Sleep is the enemy to suicide and that's all I do when I'm depressed, but when I'm manic and stay up for days I actively and methodically plan to ctb. I bet getting yourself into a psychotic state by using amphetamines would definitely lead to actual attempts.

 

[Redt2go]

This is what makes depression so bad. You want to die but don't have the motivation. This is why the first couple weeks of starting antidepressants can be dangerous because they can bring back motivation before they lift the depression causing increases in suicides. Sleep is the enemy to suicide and that's all I do when I'm depressed, but when I'm manic and stay up for days I actively and methodically plan to ctb. I bet getting yourself into a psychotic state by using amphetamines would definitely lead to actual attempts.

Being manic but lonely is enough to make me rehearse. I can't sleep so I go to tops of buildings and sit on the edge contemplating how to fall . It's also why I'm considering using antidepressants. I'll have enough energy to pretend to be normal but also enough to prepare for suicide

 

[Moms_Spaghetti]

Being manic but lonely is enough to make me rehearse. I can't sleep so I go to tops of buildings and sit on the edge contemplating how to fall . It's also why I'm considering using antidepressants. I'll have enough energy to pretend to be normal but also enough to prepare for suicide

I mean they can't hurt at that point. All I need is to take some stimulants and keep myself up for a few days to put me into a manic state adding lots of melatonin too seems to make me incrsdincr suicidal I dont know why. Everytime I use melatonin a couple days in a row I start thinking about suicide 24/7 and most times never realize it's the melatonin.

 

[Redt2go]

I was reading somewhere that melatonin helps with serotonin like ssris

 

[Mr2005]

I feel like in order to commit suicide properly and not some haphazard half hearted attempt on impulse or whatever I have to get myself together enough to be able to function and that defeats the purpose

 

[dysfunctional]

I feel like in order to commit suicide properly and not some haphazard half hearted attempt on impulse or whatever I have to get myself together enough to be able to function and that defeats the purpose

How funny. Right there with you