Help Anyone else tired of failing to ctb?

[ZomGuy]

I've attempted to ctb so many times, at some point I stopped counting. Don't get me wrong most of my attempts have been bloody serious. It's just that I can't seem to beat the SI and with every attempt I lose more "energy" to succeed in doing that. It's already hard enough to beat the SI and it's getting much harder. At this point I'm afraid of further attempts, even though I want to die so badly and just get this over with. I feel like a sprinter who has to beat his best time but doesn't have the stamina anymore to do so. I know it seems impossible to give me advice but I'm really desperate. My methods are partial suspension and tourniquet. Maybe I should really give soft methods a try. What is the best soft method in your opinion?

 

[discokicks]

I'm really leaning towards either helium or SN. They seem pretty peaceful. Sorry you're suffering so much btw.

 

[ZomGuy]

Thanks very kind of you. For some reason I don't trust soft methods but seems like I have to try SN. Helium is definitely a consideration.

 

[Honigwaffel]

Either N or exit bag with N2 would be my prefered peaceful methods. Currently struggling to get N to germany however I will start to get all the items for the exit bag now. Just in case. N2 is very easy to optain in ger.

 

[ZomGuy]

Either N or exit bag with N2 would be my prefered peaceful methods. Currently struggling to get N to germany however I will start to get all the items for the exit bag now. Just in case. N2 is very easy to optain in ger.

Since I'm also from germany I hope getting N won't be a huge problem. I mean the exit bag seems like the perfect method I think I'm goingt to try that.

 

[TiredHorse]

I know exactly what you mean: the SI-induced post-failure exhaustion is horrific. You described it well, too. A sprinter with his stamina burned away --yes.

I failed six times with exit bag. Just because it's peaceful and painless doesn't mean SI isn't a major problem. Three attempts in ten days left me almost unable to move because of exhaustion. Six months later, I'm trying to pull myself together for another attempt at the end of the month.

 

[ZomGuy]

I know exactly what you mean: the SI-induced post-failure exhaustion is horrific. You described it well, too. A sprinter with his stamina burned away --yes.

I failed six times with exit bag. Just because it's peaceful and painless doesn't mean SI isn't a major problem. Three attempts in ten days left me almost unable to move because of exhaustion. Six months later, I'm trying to pull myself together for another attempt at the end of the month.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah I agree, no matter which method you choose, SI is always a problem. I really wish there was an exit button. I should have saved all my energy for one all out attempt. I'm so exhausted from trying this over and over again.

 

[JadedGray]

In response to the title of the thread, yes I am. After each failed attempt it takes me at least 1 year before I try again because I'm so emotionally drained and humiliated.