Venting anyone else suffer from ocd?

[iftheworldwasending]

my ocd runs every single thought i have and no one seems to understand what that is like. having to shower over and over and over until my skin is red and feels like it's gonna fall off. worrying about running out of hot water. not being able to focus on work because i feel like i'm covered in bugs.

it's so fucking exhausting. it's the main reason why i think it might just be easier to be dead.

 

[Midgardsorm]

my ocd runs every single thought i have and no one seems to understand what that is like. having to shower over and over and over until my skin is red and feels like it's gonna fall off. worrying about running out of hot water. not being able to focus on work because i feel like i'm covered in bugs.

it's so fucking exhausting. it's the main reason why i think it might just be easier to be dead.

Over here, friend.

I suffer from OCD since childhood but it went crazy about 6 years ago.

I usually wash my hands Everytime I think I touched something "greasy". Going to the kitchen is scary and I wear a glove.
If I don't do this, my anxiety won't let me focus on anything else.

I was in therapy, doing ERP but I couldn't go much further.
It's just one of the cruelest treatment ever.

 

[Iwantedtodieforlong]

Yes i have it to, it ruins my life

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Yes and it is horrific. I've learnt to live with it though.

 

[Iwantedtodieforlong]

Yes and it is horrific. I've learnt to live with it though.

How did you learn to live with it though? I need some advice...

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

How did you learn to live with it though? I need some advice...

Well I'm 36 and have had it since 15 so tbh mostly time. Prozac has helped with it though. Also the book Brain Lock, for sure.

 

[whywere]

Yes, I have been trying to deal with this for my entire life, and like you so eloquently said @iftheworldwasending that it is so exhausting is so spot on. Yes, I go to bed and then it is like, gee did I lock the door to the flat, is the frig door open and the list goes on, check and recheck and become even more frustrated.

I have tried working through it and have had talk therapy also for it to no avail. It is so tiring and frustrating.

My heart goes out to you @iftheworldwasending and all the others who have to battle this each and every day. We are a loving group here on SS and that web of support really helps me and my hope and wish is that it helps others to.

My heart and support to all here,

Walter

 

[lostless]

Does anyone know the origin of ocd? Does it happen randomly or due to a reason?

 

[Werewolf.]

I do! I've had it for over a decade now. I have the same type of OCD as you do. On top of that, I also have intrusive thoughts and images. My OCD isn't as bad as it used to be, but I definitely understand how terrible it is to have it. I remember just how tiresome it was when it was at its worst. Not just to me but to everyone around me as well. OCD impacts not only you but everyone else. They just never understand. I still have OCD, but it's not as bad as it used to be. I refused to get therapy despite medical professionals urging me to get help because of how bad it was. I would even wear latex gloves in high school because I didn't want to touch anything with my bare hands. Luckily for me, everyone was kind and everyone was also interested. They'd ask me if I needed help with putting books in my backpack to which I happily agreed to. I would put my backpack in the storage room which is located outside of my house. I'd put everything there. My books, my backpack, my coat. I couldn't bring those things home. If you would like to talk to me about it, you can always send me a message.

 

[WatermelonMel]

Yes. The thought intrusions are just reminders that I should CTB.

Sorry to those that have to deal with it, you deserve better.

 

[Werewolf.]

Does anyone know the origin of ocd? Does it happen randomly or due to a reason?

I can't speak for others, but for me it was a step-by-step process. It started with a mere thought. And from then on, it slowly but surely completely overtook me. It's crazy to reflect on it!

For me, it started with money. I was with my friend and classmate in line at a supermarket. I thought to myself, while I paid the money and was yet to receive the change, "Come to think of it, aren't these coins just so gross? Everyone touches it!!" And from then it slowly spiraled out of control. I'd wash my hands when I came back home. Then some days later at school, as I sat with my arms laid out on the table, I thought to myself... "Wait, isn't this table gross? Everyone touches it!" And then when I came home, I didn't just wash my hands.. I also started washing my arms up until my elbow. At first, anyway. Eventually it got so bad that I couldn't enter my room until I showered three times in a row. And I used soap excessively. It needed to produce foam and with the foam I felt safe and secure and clean. I would repeat this everyday. And after doing it, I would refuse to leave the house, no matter if a friend was in need or just wanted to hang out. They really disliked me for it.

OCD is just horrible and like the OP said... it's just... exhausting. Tiresome. Draining.

Yes. The thought intrusions are just reminders that I should CTB.

Sorry to those that have to deal with it, you deserve better.

And so do you!!

 

[iftheworldwasending]

these comments are so kind, i hope everyone is doing okay and hanging in there. ocd is so traumatizing and i hope everyone can heal and get better. <333

 

[apathetic.]

OCD is enough to make me wanna end it. It's hard to fall asleep without my brain tormenting me over my skin touching the clothes a certain way. Or feeling the urge to wash hands for 1 minute straight each time I touch something, or having the extreme urge to change position when sitting, etc Can barely focus on my work with these intrusive thoughts. I really hate it.

 

[whywere]

these comments are so kind, i hope everyone is doing okay and hanging in there. ocd is so traumatizing and i hope everyone can heal and get better. <333

Hi! I hope that you are having a great Sunday filled with sun and fun. I hope I am not being nosey, just wanted to take a minute and say hi and that I am thinking of you.

You are a very kind and good hearted soul with so much love and thoughtfulness to folks that I had to take time to say hello and you are loved and cared about 100%.

Wishing you lots of sunny weather and bright blue skies,

Walter

 

[Fera18]

what's ocd