Anyone else realize they have been in denial their whole life?

[DarknessAtNoon]

My whole life I've had what in retrospect was this delusion that I was always on the verge of making drastic changes and turning my life around. When I failed day in and day out to make these necessary changes I always just told myself I would do it tomorrow or next week. This cycle continued for years throughout my entire early adulthood and into middle age. I was never able to accept that I simply didn't have the ability to fix myself. I am now in my late 30s and I finally have to face the reality that the window to realistically turn things around is firmly closed. CTB is all that remains.

 

[Crow_88]

Yes. Same. Carrying on and ignoring hard hard truths.

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

Yes, I've been in this state of denial for the past 12 years. I guess that's just youth, it's such a powerful thing, even though my health both physical and mental never gave me much hope, the simple fact that I was still young did. Youth gave me the reassurance to hide away in denial, now the last bits of it is fleeing me fast, I'm now fully exposed to the hopelessness.

I feel like my life has ended before it ever even started. All that's left now is to decay and suffer hopelessness without any hope. Do you feel this way?

 

[DarknessAtNoon]

Yes, I've been in this state of denial for the past 12 years. I guess that's just youth, it's such a powerful thing, even though my health both physical and mental never gave me much hope, the simple fact that I was still young did. Youth gave me the reassurance to hide away in denial, now the last bits of it is fleeing me fast, I'm now fully exposed to the hopelessness.

I feel like my life has ended before it ever even started. All that's left now is to decay and suffer hopelessness without any hope. Do you feel this way?

Yes that's exactly how I feel. At my age and with where I am at in life there is no realistic positive outcome.

 

[Saturn_]

Feel this deeply. I'm alive through borrowed time that untruth brings. Denial of reality, lying to myself, escapism through fiction and stories.