• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
ctemourge

ctemourge

and by the time ur hearing this ill already b gone
Aug 14, 2023
109
i cant believe im actually posting in the recovery form. ive postponed my CTB attempt(s) and now ive quit smoking. id like to preface im doing this for a partner. i value what we have more than self destruction. although it does tempt me and taunt me more than ever before. its easier to give in and suffer because thats what im used to… but i swear after stopping i havent slept right and the depression is ten times worse. i started smoking at age 13? ish? i was a kid but not a baby. started with just bowls (small amounts of weed) all the way up to a joint a day. as i got older my tolorance grew MUCH stronger. i was smoking blunts (nicotine/cigar wraps and weed) every day . id say about 6 or 7 blunts MINIMUM a day. max up to literally like 10-15. id have to pick up weed every other day. my entire paychecks went to that shit. now , im not knocking anyone who does it because damn do i miss it and it DID help regulate my emotions but for me personally it was time to stop. it was getting absolutely excessive to the point the people around me would tell me i have a problem.
now i am about a week sober fully. it is hard. i crave it alot. but i crave the feeling not the weed itself i dont think? idk. i just want the intense feelings to fucking stop. i already suffer enough!!! now that ive cut that part out of my life its intensified. im sure itll go back to normal torture once my body readjusts but goddamn do i need help coping and staying sober. any advice? anyone else on here do this? i know cali sober has helped alot of people including myself, but im being selfless and really trying my best to be better for my relationship. getting better is not easy
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: The Actual Devil and kmycluisfe
kmycluisfe

kmycluisfe

"I’m a pluviophile"
Mar 8, 2023
62
Hey, first of all good job, a week sober is insane! You are doing incredible

I'm not a smoker and I can't say I know exactly how it feels, but I struggle with food in a similar cycle. I'll go days without eating because of how I feel mentally, then binge hard and feel worse. It's not the same substance, but I get the loop. The way your body and brain almost crave the pain because it's familiar. Breaking out of that takes strength, and you're showing it

I don't have any advice honestly, I just wanted to give you some love and support. I hope you will do better and manage to get out of this

You can do it !
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: The Actual Devil and ctemourge
D

deathbydesign

Member
May 21, 2025
27
So I used to smoke like you used to. A half ounce to an ounce daily. For years. I quit when I had kids and didn't smoke for probably 7-8 years. Then I'd just hit friends weed every now and then. Maybe once every few months.

But I've started again. My tolerance is still crazy low so that helps. But my psychiatrist recommended it and I've been trying to get some benzos off her for months to help me calm down when I'm way too overly worked up but she won't yet. I really just wanted like 5-10/month for the times I truly needed one. But I'm on adderal so maybe that's why she won't but I also haven't flat out asked for them specifically either lol.

But anyway - the weed does the same thing. Calms me down whether it's a panic attack or I'm just overreacting or super angry. Couple hits and I'm calmed right down. Couple hits before bed and I'm able to sleep. Couple hits to create enough hunger that I can drive myself to eat. I just keep a blunt rolled at all times and hit it as needed lol.

And I know weed isn't addicting - but we get so used to the positive effects of it - and I think finding new ways to get those same effects is the key to not smoking it. When life is good, and I'm actually happy - I don't even think about it. And everyone I'm close to smokes and I am the one who gets it for them. But when I'm super stressed or depressed or sad or whatever it is when life is lifing to the fucked up level that brings me to this site - it's what works for me.

But you can do it, especially in recovery. Find something that also gives you the things that smoking does. Find a new hobby maybe. You got this :) but don't beat yourself up if you slip up either. We are all out here just doing the best we can.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: The Actual Devil and ctemourge
ctemourge

ctemourge

and by the time ur hearing this ill already b gone
Aug 14, 2023
109
So I used to smoke like you used to. A half ounce to an ounce daily. For years. I quit when I had kids and didn't smoke for probably 7-8 years. Then I'd just hit friends weed every now and then. Maybe once every few months.

But I've started again. My tolerance is still crazy low so that helps. But my psychiatrist recommended it and I've been trying to get some benzos off her for months to help me calm down when I'm way too overly worked up but she won't yet. I really just wanted like 5-10/month for the times I truly needed one. But I'm on adderal so maybe that's why she won't but I also haven't flat out asked for them specifically either lol.

But anyway - the weed does the same thing. Calms me down whether it's a panic attack or I'm just overreacting or super angry. Couple hits and I'm calmed right down. Couple hits before bed and I'm able to sleep. Couple hits to create enough hunger that I can drive myself to eat. I just keep a blunt rolled at all times and hit it as needed lol.

And I know weed isn't addicting - but we get so used to the positive effects of it - and I think finding new ways to get those same effects is the key to not smoking it. When life is good, and I'm actually happy - I don't even think about it. And everyone I'm close to smokes and I am the one who gets it for them. But when I'm super stressed or depressed or sad or whatever it is when life is lifing to the fucked up level that brings me to this site - it's what works for me.

But you can do it, especially in recovery. Find something that also gives you the things that smoking does. Find a new hobby maybe. You got this :) but don't beat yourself up if you slip up either. We are all out here just doing the best we can.
thank you so much for your kind words <3 this helped alot actually.
Hey, first of all good job, a week sober is insane! You are doing incredible

I'm not a smoker and I can't say I know exactly how it feels, but I struggle with food in a similar cycle. I'll go days without eating because of how I feel mentally, then binge hard and feel worse. It's not the same substance, but I get the loop. The way your body and brain almost crave the pain because it's familiar. Breaking out of that takes strength, and you're showing it

I don't have any advice honestly, I just wanted to give you some love and support. I hope you will do better and manage to get out of this

You can do it !
thank you for the support! you got this as well! <3 we are all in it together
 
  • Like
Reactions: The Actual Devil
before20

before20

I can't turn this thing off, it keeps following me
Jan 28, 2025
88
As someone who just went on a T-break (after smoking daily for two years), the first week was the hardest. By the third week I kind of forgot why I did it at all. So hang on in there, it will get way easier once you hit that 21 day mark. What helped me was cramming a lot of TV shows & movies to distract my brain. Wishing you luck on this journey.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: deathbydesign, ctemourge and The Actual Devil
C

concession

New Member
Jun 3, 2025
3
i cant believe im actually posting in the recovery form. ive postponed my CTB attempt(s) and now ive quit smoking. id like to preface im doing this for a partner. i value what we have more than self destruction. although it does tempt me and taunt me more than ever before. its easier to give in and suffer because thats what im used to… but i swear after stopping i havent slept right and the depression is ten times worse. i started smoking at age 13? ish? i was a kid but not a baby. started with just bowls (small amounts of weed) all the way up to a joint a day. as i got older my tolorance grew MUCH stronger. i was smoking blunts (nicotine/cigar wraps and weed) every day . id say about 6 or 7 blunts MINIMUM a day. max up to literally like 10-15. id have to pick up weed every other day. my entire paychecks went to that shit. now , im not knocking anyone who does it because damn do i miss it and it DID help regulate my emotions but for me personally it was time to stop. it was getting absolutely excessive to the point the people around me would tell me i have a problem.
now i am about a week sober fully. it is hard. i crave it alot. but i crave the feeling not the weed itself i dont think? idk. i just want the intense feelings to fucking stop. i already suffer enough!!! now that ive cut that part out of my life its intensified. im sure itll go back to normal torture once my body readjusts but goddamn do i need help coping and staying sober. any advice? anyone else on here do this? i know cali sober has helped alot of people including myself, but im being selfless and really trying my best to be better for my relationship. getting better is not easy
Hi. Congrats on your first week.
I`ve tried weed a couple of times, but got off in time before addiction kicked in, so my experience may not be aplicable, but I`ve had a nasty nicotine addiction (cigaretes).
Now hear me out, this will seem a bit odd and when I`ve heard of it I thought this method was bullshit, but hear me out. I do think that it will do the trick even with weed.

You`ve maybe heard about Allen Carr`s Easy way. I do recommend you visit his clinic or if you do not want to spend money to just pirate one of his books that is applicable to your situation (do not know about weed, but I think the trick from his book about cigaretes will help you EMMENSLY if you really read and understand it).

I have been trying to quit smoking multiple times and felt like absolute SHIT. Gave this book a go without beliving it can help. But, the thing is, autor forbids smokers to quit smoking while reading, that sounded like stupid thing at first, but, when I read about half of a book something just ckicked in my head and I rushed the reading it so I can stop smoking as soon as possible and first weeks were pure magic. Stopping made me feel much better right away. (I do not encourage you to begin smoking again after a week without weed. Most probably you are already free from addiction and you just need to realise it. The book can help you.)

Give it a try but concentrate and process information while reading. The worst case you will just waste a couple of weeks reading something that did not help you. Best case, you will be free from this prison for life and get a really pleasant first weeks without the addiction.

Just for God`s sake do not try to replace weed with something else that is not exercise, fresh air or people that are not under influence. You will just end up being addicted to something else.

Sincerely wish you the best of luck
 
Last edited:
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: deathbydesign, ctemourge and The Actual Devil

Similar threads

sadpigeon
Replies
12
Views
645
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
FuneralCry
nonameno5
Replies
0
Views
74
Suicide Discussion
nonameno5
nonameno5
33rw1n
Replies
1
Views
89
Suicide Discussion
darksouls
darksouls
iloveyouihateyou
Replies
49
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
FoxSauce
FoxSauce
nonameno5
Replies
0
Views
135
Suicide Discussion
nonameno5
nonameno5