Discussion Anyone else procrastinating?

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

I wish I killed myself when I had the chance. It seems like the only thing keeping me alive at this point is laziness and procrastination. I know I should be researching and planning my suicide but my life right now consists of so little effort that I just procrastinate. It seems like I will just have to wait until I'm inevitably required to either put in more effort or be uncomfortable (i.e. homelessness) but I honestly don't see that happening for a while. I'm thinking of just like dedicating 15 minutes a day to it or something. But then again once I have everything prepared what's stopping me from procrastinating then? Maybe practicing 15 minutes a day until one day I just do it for real? Any tips?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

i'm unfortunately in the same situation as u. i was facing homelessness, which would've been what finally got me to kms, but i was able to work smthg out w my roomm8, so now i'm just in full hikikomori mode. i'm completely apathetic all the time too, so i don't even have the good ole constant overwhelming anguish as a driving force anymore :p

i think having a ctb partner who's maybe a lil more determined/motivated to kts would help me finally do it, but the odds of me finding a suitable 1 is next to nothing ://

edit: just realized i replied to u like 5 mins ago basically saying this exact same thing, lolmy bad.

 

[Guy Smiley]

I wish I killed myself when I had the chance. It seems like the only thing keeping me alive at this point is laziness and procrastination. I know I should be researching and planning my suicide but my life right now consists of so little effort that I just procrastinate. It seems like I will just have to wait until I'm inevitably required to either put in more effort or be uncomfortable (i.e. homelessness) but I honestly don't see that happening for a while. I'm thinking of just like dedicating 15 minutes a day to it or something. But then again once I have everything prepared what's stopping me from procrastinating then? Maybe practicing 15 minutes a day until one day I just do it for real? Any tips?

Yes, very, very much (see my "signature" line). I realized that I actually use SaSu as a way of procrastinating. Instead of using it to solidify my choice of method and plan (which I was doing at first when I joined the forum) I now mostly just browse and reply to posts. I'm aware that the reason I procrastinate is because it's very difficult for me to face the reality of suicide/death. I know I have to face my fears, but gathering the courage to do so isn't easy.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Same i have no idea how people can do anything other than procrastinate.

I see all these studying things online or youtube, usually these quirky people or artsy people and i just have no idea how their brain even does it.

I hate the word "Productive" makes you sounds like a conveyor belt, fuck being productive just pay me more and piss off

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

Yes, very, very much (see my "signature" line). I realized that I actually use SaSu as a way of procrastinating. Instead of using it to solidify my choice of method and plan (which I was doing at first when I joined the forum) I now mostly just browse and reply to posts. I'm aware that the reason I procrastinate is because it's very difficult for me to face the reality of suicide/death. I know I have to face my fears, but gathering the courage to do so isn't easy.

I totally relate. Right now i have everything in my hands to CTB but it requires loads of courage for the last step and since i have some little saving i find myself in this procrastinating mode as well. Its hell...

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

That's all I have been doing and trust me, it's gotten old.

Maybe I will find the resolve to go when I hit 3,000 fucking posts.

 

[4g1vvvven]

I'm certainly not as proactive as I'd like to be but I don't think it's complete procrastination.

I don't think suicide is easy, those who seem to casually do it fascinate me.

This year after a particularly brutal and sudden combination of factors/stressors I've spent an embarrassing amount of time on this site.

Outside of that (or perhaps due to it), there's been the following ineptitude:

• I've lost a small amount of crypto trying to get SN in what was likely a scam, I'm still curious about the method but still don't have AE, no less SN.
• Tried hanging a few times with a few ligatures and experimented with tourniquet, feels like there might be some lasting damage there but it's hard to say. This wasn't a pleasant experience and I don't have confidence in my ability to execute on it now.
• Tried to explore a localish jump spot but nerves got me to back out.
• Explored the DN for the first time in years but haven't found amazing options. Perhaps I will end up buying some H or GHB but inexperience puts me off, I was hoping to find Fent or Barbiturates from the UK haven't but didn't find anything.

There's charcoal and IG I suppose but they seem quite conspicuous and complicated to me.

Maybe I'm in your boat and procrastinating, I think it's even worse, that I'm tragic at this, can't even figure out how to end it all.

 

[iwantodie89]

Yeah it's hard to actually go ahead and do it. I think your mind and body automatically are programmed to try and save itself