Discussion Anyone else planning to ctb who feels like they haven't 'done enough'?

[Rainork]

I'm not necessarily talking about big life things (although, those are still valid bits) but I mean the smaller things.

I'm planning to ctb tomorrow and have spent the last week or two trying to get as much sorted as possible so no one else has too- I've made a big dent but still haven't even come close to finishing everything.
I've tidied up around the house and tried to clean up my car (the ADHD and depression mix means everything I touch looks like a bombsite normally), have cleaned around the house and washed and bagged up a lot of my clothes into charity bags.
I feel bad leaving bits for anyone else to do but also know there will always be something that needs to be done and so am trying to tell myself that it's okay.

Am I overthinking? Does anyone else have a similar thing going on?
What things do you want to sort out before you ctb?

 

[sourcherry]

i feel the same way. i feel like i spent a lot of my life being a burden and i don't want to exit and continue to be a burden even tho ill be dead.

 

[Star67]

I feel the same as well. I just finished writing my note yesterday but there's some things I need to do that I've been putting off. Getting rid of some of my belongings, giving some away, burning old journals, posting some of my artwork, writing, and photos on a blog. Drafting goodbye messages, testing the purity of drugs I've chosen to ctb. It's a bit overwhelming to think about but I do feel glad having finally drafted the note. I wish you the best in whatever you choose, you'll be in my thoughts.

 

[itsitbit]

Oh, I feel the same way; I don't have the means to ctb by my preferred method yet, but I do really want to clean my room before I go. It sounds a little silly but maintaining a clean space has truly been a lifelong struggle for me and I do chalk it up to my ADHD. I feel really bad about leaving a huge mess behind so I'd like to at least get it organized.

 

[Passenger4224]

There is so much I wanted to do, but if I have to do them as myself, then I'd rather not. No matter what I do, literally anyone else can do it better.

Everyone is different, and some may have things they genuinely want done before they go.

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I feel this. The last time a made an attempt was on a Saturday and didn't get everything done so I had postpone til Sunday. A lot of the preparation is big and emotional so I think we tend to procrastinate it a bit