azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
There's a TV-show creator whom I really admire. I friended him on Facebook, wrote him a message, and was floored to receive a response. I assumed it was an assistant, and I said as much. He said it was really him. We have messaged back and forth every so often, and it has been the highlight of the year. I am ashamed how happy and proud I feel when I receive correspondence from him. I spent hours reading about him online, Googling his family members, trying to find out more about his life. Eventually, I became so ashamed of my fantasies about being this guy's friend that I kind of torpedo'd the whole thing. I basically wrote to him and made a comment about knowing the country in which his brother lived, and I told him I was struggling with mental-health issues, and that I couldn't handle the correspondence anymore. I just couldn't keep it in perspective. I was oversharing, and gushing, and being the total opposite of cool. After a while, I came to the conclusion that that had to have been an assistant; he wouldn't have time for all that chit chat with a damn stranger. But, now I miss that correspondence -- even if it wasn't really with the real celeb. I feel bad that I couldn't just enjoy something for what it was -- making such a big deal of things and ultimately tanking the one nice little thing that's going on in my otherwise dismal life. Does anyone else do that? Latch on to celebs? I really felt nuts. I don't want to be a crazy person. Would love to hear from others. I need you guys. Thank you for being there.