Discussion Anyone else like hyper empathetic towards friends but have zero empathy towards others?

[coolgal82]

Like for me personally, if my friends talk about something bad that happened to them it makes me so sad i just wanna die on the spot like it really hurts they didnt deserve to go through that and i hate it.

But on the flip side whenever bad things happen to people i dont like, even for the tiniest most irrelevant reasons, it actually makes me happy? idk. i dont really get why the difference is there just because my brain is like "oh your friends are good so good things should happen to them but your enemies are bad so bad things should happen to them" but like idk.

I dont think this is good? in an objective sense anyway. subjectively in the moment it feels like im 100% right to feel that way (atleast for the second kind) because to me its just so obvious that yeah they deserve it for being "bad" (whether bad means slightly annoying me one time a few months ago or like killing my entire family lmao) but idk.

its weird. especially cus i can feel empathy for like bad people like as a concept to some degree but in person if i know them and consider them bad its just gone. also for like strangers/not close friends specifically rather than conceptually i feel more like objective empathy like "damn thats sad" but it doesnt really affect me much, but for anyone i consider a friend the slightest bad thing happening to them really affects me. it feels like i have either too much empathy or like negative amounts of it sometimes like only on both extremes, only a 10 or a -10.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Nah. In my case, I have empathy for those who suffered a lot and are suicidal as a result. I don't have empathy towards those who are pro life as they're all sadists

 

[coolgal82]

oh also to like give an example theres someone recently that like i despise cus shes an ableist bitch and when i found out she was homeless i actually got happy which like objectively feels wrong but subjectively to my brain its like "no lmao shes fucking awful she deserves it who cares?" idk lol

 

[verdedefome]

I don't really have any friends anymore, and I don't really remember those moments very well, maybe I just never a good enough friend of anyone to share these moments. But I don't think I feel empathy for others, I don't feel sad when something bad happens to someone, and I don't feel happy when something good happens to someone, I can only acknowledge that it happens. It's not exactly like I feel no reaction to things that don't affect me though. I do feel sadness or anger when something bad that happened distresses me for example, but I can't really partake in the sadness or happiness of others.

 

[SixNeufUn]

Not really. I don't think I have much empathy. If something bad happens to my friends generally I will just ignore it and send a rapid text to not sound too 'cold'. Tho I am still feel empathetic for situations that talk to me. well at some point

The only show that can make me shed tears is Hunter x Hunter. Already watched it over 7 times

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think my Dad hopes I will feel some sort of satisfaction when he tells me about some bad fortune the person who made my life hell growing up has had but truthfully- no- I don't wish bad upon them. I agree with you though, that I find it hard to feel empathetic towards them as much as I would say a friend. Still, my concern is- that kind of thing is surely more likely to make them lash out at people and I pitty the people who are on the receiving end of that now. Honestly though, the ideal would be if I could just forget about them all together.

Generally, I think I can feel empathy for most people but yes, I have my own biases too. I try to correct myself if I don't properly know them though. We probably all deserve sympathy for awful things that happen but, it's hard to feel the same towards people who bully you. I admire people who can forgive and forget to that extent.

Still, I think it can also be used against people. Empathy- especially when you are with the person in question, is a way of forming connection. It's a giving of energy too. Truly empathetic people I've known have literally started crying because I was crying. Some types of people- eg. narcissists feed on emotional energy and can be incredibly manipulative. So- in that case, it seems sensible not to get so drawn in. For starters, what they're telling you may not even be true! I think it can work against people sometimes. It probably isn't always wise to be deeply empathetic and open with people all the time. Not if their motivations are questionable. Of course, that's not always so easy to work out.