Anyone else just want to get it over with already?

[Volatile]

i have to box up all my stuff in my apartment first though. Then I have to take a shower. The drive will be scenic and 5 hrs to the bridge.

It's all so exhausting. Maintaining my resolve to ctb will be hard due to survival instinct.

 

[Smilla]

I'm long overdue. Long.

Like you I have "loose ends" to tie up.

Have a wonderful drive.

 

[Volatile]

I'm long overdue. Long.

Like you I have "loose ends" to tie up.

Have a wonderful drive.

It would be tragic if I didn't make it to the destination due to car trouble or a minor car accident. What do I do then?

 

[Smilla]

It would be tragic if I didn't make it to the destination due to car trouble or a minor car accident. What do I do then?

Plan. Is your car reliable? Maybe rent a car?

 

[Volatile]

It's reliable but a car accident would undo that.

 

[Karlala]

Sounds like I might take a drive myself but I dont know where to go . The bridge out here has a net now

 

[Volatile]

Sounds like I might take a drive myself but I dont know where to go . The bridge out here has a net now

Golden Gate Bridge?

 

[Karlala]

Golden Gate Bridge?

Yea suicide net in place now 20 feet long

 

[Volatile]

Yea suicide net in place now 20 feet long

Wtf. I stood on it contemplating jumping 5 yrs ago. When was the net put up?

 

[Karlala]

This year I was there last week to jump and wow no more of that

 

[Volatile]

This year I was there last week to jump and wow no more of that

How does it look? Could you jump into it?

 

[Smilla]

It's reliable but a car accident would undo that.

Such is life. Random accidents.

But it's unlikely statistically speaking.

 

[Sternum]

I fucking hate survival instinct.

 

[Karlala]

How does it look? Could you jump into it?

Yes but it will not allow you to jump it will tangle you up goggle it for yourself you will see

 

[Jon86]

^ The net they added looks kinda useless to me. Couldn't you just crawl off of it if you land on it?

There was a 'jumper' on the Lions Gate bridge today, that backed up traffic for hours. They close the entire bridge when there's jumper and people get pissed, bridge was closed for around 4 hours, he never jumped.

 

[Volatile]

people get pissed and jump themselves lol

^ The net they added looks kinda useless to me. Couldn't you just crawl off of it if you land on it?

There was a 'jumper' on the Lions Gate bridge today, that backed up traffic for hours. They close the entire bridge when there's jumper and people get pissed, bridge was closed for around 4 hours, he never jumped.

 

[Dead_Inside]

i have to box up all my stuff in my apartment first though. Then I have to take a shower. The drive will be scenic and 5 hrs to the bridge.

It's all so exhausting. Maintaining my resolve to ctb will be hard due to survival instinct.

Oh the packing up stuff .... that took me forever. I don't have a will so I had to pack stuff up and put peoples names on it and write a little note to say why I had given it to them.
Best of luck to you. I remember how absolutely happy and peacefully my intended final day was .... hope it is the same for you.

 

[Volatile]

I'm not giving anything to anyone. I'm just putting it all in boxes to be thrown away. Of course, that probably won't happen. My stuff will be looked through. I would just dump it all but I'm afraid I might change my mind.

 

[Dead_Inside]

I'm not giving anything to anyone. I'm just putting it all in boxes to be thrown away. Of course, that probably won't happen. My stuff will be looked through. I would just dump it all but I'm afraid I might change my mind.

Ahh ... ok. I am stupid and think that people will care. And I am really stupid and still care about people who don't care enough to be here for me .... you know I packed them up nice stuff .... because I am stupid.

 

[Volatile]

Ahh ... ok. I am stupid and think that people will care. And I am really stupid and still care about people who don't care enough to be here for me .... you know I packed them up nice stuff .... because I am stupid.

It's not stupid. You're caring. That's a good thing.

 

[Dead_Inside]

It's not stupid. You're caring. That's a good thing.

Hahaha .... what do you like ? Let me see what I have.... just write your name on it .... lol!

 

[ultraviolet sin]

Hahaha .... what do you like ? Let me see what I have.... just write your name on it .... lol!

Lol. That is how I feel.

 

[Vvoiid]

Jumping is my only method. I've been at the bridge a couple of times. It's always exhausting(It's half an hour driving and another hour walking... I can tell you from experience that the survival instinct is very hard to overcome. Sometimes I go there just to watch the bridge, see if I am ready.

 

[Ssname]

The tidying up possessions has held me back before. I want to leave things as easy as possible for my family. Also will rent a car so that my car doesn't lose value when I die in it.

 

[wanttodie]

yes i do

 

[Imaginos]

More than anything else I can currently think of. More than anything else ever. Although unfortunately as I've found, no matter how furiously I tap my foot, in my constant, impatient wish for death to finally arrive it doesn't at all mean, turns out, that it's gonna suddenly happen or appear. Least of all I'd imagine while conforming to my idealized desires for an unforeseen, painless release from such a deeply disturbing universe as this one. If only it did, but alas. Only in my fantasies it seems.

 

[Final Escape]

I hope I can do it within the next couple weeks. I don't think I'm going to overplan it but I'm definitely going to make sure I'm doing it correctly. And maybe I should have another backup in case the first attempt fails lol! I need like at least three different methods that are pretty fail safe so in case one doesn't work. I know right, if only I put this much effort into trying to live, I might actually have a decent life by now. I doubt it but that thought at times has crossed my mind. But if I could have done that I would have, so I think working towards my suicide is right for me in my situation. I'm not afraid of death and more afraid of life at this point. I know that my circumstances cannot improve because that would only happen by miracle or some unprecedented event that made life so great that I would be thrilled to be alive again.

 

[Threads]

No. I'm in no hurry to get anything over with. My priority is keeping my dad happy. The longer he is happy, the better. If he lives another 20 years, I will make sure they are the happiest years of his life. If he dies tomorrow, I already made sure that today was a fantastic day for him.

As soon as I find out he has died. I'm stopping what I am doing, head home and write my note, I'm going home to get my Mossberg 500 Persuader, I'm calling the police to let them know where I am and what I am doing, and I am taking my shotgun and blowing my skulls and brains all over the place.

I have this all figured out.

 

[iwant2die]

I am. I just need to get a gun first. The nice thing about that is when I am over the edge, I can just pull the trigger, and I'm a goner. I don't need to worry about having x amount of time without getting interrupted.

 

[Tsohumgi]

i have to box up all my stuff in my apartment first though. Then I have to take a shower. The drive will be scenic and 5 hrs to the bridge.

It's all so exhausting. Maintaining my resolve to ctb will be hard due to survival instinct.

I was gonna drive to the snow and lie down forever. Someone had broken in to my car. I found it and had to deal with that instead. Broken windows, stuck in position from something underneath. My stuff strewn everywhere. I wonder how my plans will be screwed up this time.