Anyone else here with chronic pain

[mybodyhurts]

For as long as I can remember, I have been living with severe vulvodynia that leaves me in 24/7 horrific pain. I can't sleep, sitting through work is agonizing, and I have no quality of life. I have tried countless treatments, including even surgically removing a large part of my vulva in a procedure that permanently mutilated me, and nothing even remotely touches the pain.

Living with this pain is bad enough, but then in my early 20s, I developed a severe case of endometriosis that spread to my other organs. Thankfully this pain is more manageable now after finding a doctor out of dozens that took it seriously but it stole my 20s from me and will likely grow back.

Because of the nature of these conditions, doctors don't take them seriously, if they do they don't know how to treat then, and if they have ideas on how to treat them insurance won't cover them. I'm so tired of fighting to get even the most basic healthcare for them. And I can't be open with people in my life about what's going on because it's not socially acceptable to talk about pelvic pain.

I always told myself when I was ready I would use SN to try to ctb. I was finally ready to start planning my way out a few days ago, but quickly learned it is MUCH harder to obtain now. I'm kicking myself for not getting some to have on hand back when it was on Amazon.

It's impossible for people in my life without chronic pain to grasp how miserable life with it is and that ctb is the only way to free me of being in pain. So now I am here, looking to vent with others that are stuck in a body that's agonizing to live in and looking for a way out.

 

[L'appel Du Vide]

Everything between my legs got damaged in a dog attack so I understand the awkwardness of talking about it. And generally a lot of above average chronic pain from other injuries and conditions + disabilities. After 15 years my aim is to try disregard sense of well-being and replace it with attempts at greater purpose. Creating or doing things that will affect the world and the lives others are living, whatever that can still be done. Just living without a mission can leave me in a mindset much like what you are telling us. I think it's okay to leave for these reasons but also encourage folks in our situation to make your mark on the world and broaden the horizons until we're too weary to continue with it. I might not be able to physically go on much longer and feel better about ending things knowing that I didn't just coast and survive it out, that I didn't give up right away once I could tell that things might not get better.

 

[zdeweilx]

I understand you, and i'm really sorry this is happening to you. I live with a similar burden because i was diagnosed with ehlers-danlos syndrome years ago. I suffer from joint and muscle chronic pain. The worst is that there is no cure.
Hang in there until you're freed from this hell. Thats what i'm trying to do

 

[mybodyhurts]

Everything between my legs got damaged in a dog attack so I understand the awkwardness of talking about it. And generally a lot of above average chronic pain from other injuries and conditions + disabilities. After 15 years my aim is to try disregard sense of well-being and replace it with attempts at greater purpose. Creating or doing things that will affect the world and the lives others are living, whatever that can still be done. Just living without a mission can leave me in a mindset much like what you are telling us. I think it's okay to leave for these reasons but also encourage folks in our situation to make your mark on the world and broaden the horizons until we're too weary to continue with it. I might not be able to physically go on much longer and feel better about ending things knowing that I didn't just coast and survive it out, that I didn't give up right away once I could tell that things might not get better.

Yeah for a long time I've coped with doing extreme supports. When no drug touches the pain, there's nothing that takes my mind off my pelvic pain like ice climbing up the side of a mountain. After 30 years and an especially shitty year of my insurance refusing to cover a spinal stimulator, which is my only hope, I'm feeling especially done

I understand you, and i'm really sorry this is happening to you. I live with a similar burden because i was diagnosed with ehlers-danlos syndrome years ago. I suffer from joint and muscle chronic pain. The worst is that there is no cure.
Hang in there until you're freed from this hell. Thats what i'm trying to do

I know there's a ton of overlap between EDS and pelvic pain. I hear it's awful from the various patient support groups I've been in. You hang in there as well