F
FogFilledLife
Student
- Jan 6, 2022
- 164
I used to exercise daily, now I exercise half- yearly. I used to get compliments, now I get disses. I spent months in psych facilities watching my muscle decay and have never regained it, but lost more. I used to have the willpower to eat nothing but healthy food for months on end and lose 30 pounds in three months, now I can't even bring myself to get out of bed without 12 hours of sleep.
My depression went from manageable to non-existent. I feel numb but somehow worse than when I felt sad. I don't even plan for suicide anymore, just think of doing it.
My latest attempt a week ago I didn't feel anything as I set it up, no drive to do it or not, just uncomfortable because I had to move my fat body. I failed and that's been the only time I've felt alive in months if not two years.
I might get kicked out of the place I'm staying soon because I can't keep my mouth shut, but I still feel nothing. Every emotion I feel is short lived and dies almost quicker than it came.
My hearing and eyesight is going away on one side and I can barely put in the effort to try to see a doctor. I can't even recall what I was thinking of when I started this post.
Anyways, enough pathetic venting.
My depression went from manageable to non-existent. I feel numb but somehow worse than when I felt sad. I don't even plan for suicide anymore, just think of doing it.
My latest attempt a week ago I didn't feel anything as I set it up, no drive to do it or not, just uncomfortable because I had to move my fat body. I failed and that's been the only time I've felt alive in months if not two years.
I might get kicked out of the place I'm staying soon because I can't keep my mouth shut, but I still feel nothing. Every emotion I feel is short lived and dies almost quicker than it came.
My hearing and eyesight is going away on one side and I can barely put in the effort to try to see a doctor. I can't even recall what I was thinking of when I started this post.
Anyways, enough pathetic venting.