Anyone else here feels like life always sucked?

[Aplev]

I hear a lot of people say "adult life sucks" or "I wish I could be a kid again" and stuff like that. But to me life always sucked. I wouldn't relive anything ever again for that matter.

 

[divinemistress36]

I agree its always sucked even as a kid. Its just times were more innocent as a kid

 

[Aplev]

I agree its always sucked even as a kid. Its just times were more innocent as a kid

to me it doesn't feel more innocent either. Maybe my childhood was just way too messed up? Seems that way.

 

[Kimlett]

Yeah, I had a shitty childhood as well. Bullying fucked up my brain forever

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah same. My Dad spent some of the conversation today reminiscing about happy memories. I didn't really like to say, most of my memories are unpleasant or uncomfortable. Not that they all are but, an awful lot are.

Maybe it's just wallowing in self pity but I tend to look back and think- yeah- that period was shit, so was that one and that one. That one had shitty elements to it. None of it was worth it either! It's not like I've come out stronger or with some great sense of achievement. It's like I'm just limping on reluctantly towards the end.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

life always sucked. when i was younger i was only less knowledgable about reality and more brainwashed.

now at least part of my brain figured out there is no reason to do anything , nothing matters except avoiding extreme pain, there is no reason to accept suffering , and non-existence is the ultimate bliss , pain is a billion times worse than you can imagine, that i'm just cells a bug, many more things i hadn't realized when i was a brainwashed child

nothing matters except avoiding unbearable pain or extreme suffering and to me getting to non-existence asap

pro-lifers and others want me to work 15 hours a day job and chores fix problems to do lists just to exist under threat of the most extreme torture.

there is no reason to even suffer at any level much less the unimaginable torture possible

what else can matter. nothing matters. nothing is important. what will matter in 150 years?what will matter in a 1000 years? in 10,000 years? in a trillion years? absolutely nothing . no one can convince me that anything else matters . i haven't nor wil I see an objective reason for why i have to live another minute . why i have to do anything or want anything . the only things i want is to avoid unbearable pain and extreme suffering and for me to not exist and never exist again, non-existence forever.

below link might be disturbing if anyone is reading this read at your own discretion , shows torture and killing . i was surprised at the comment on this , "Death must have been such a relief for this poor girl" they admitted that there are some situations where Death is a relief. i can guarantee there is worse pain if only because it can be more constant and longer duration as they tortured these people only for weeks but it's possible to suffer pain and suffering at the peak second this person here and Junko Furuta also at the peak second of the pain , that pain and suffering lasting for every second for decades like incurable skin sores no sleep for 30 years from 60 to 90 in a nursing home is only one example : this is what they say is a beautiful life . who would trade just this torture for something in life some ridiculous pleasurable fleeting meaningless garbage is worth the worst torture? no way that pleasurable crap to me is not worth anything but i guess to most nothing could be worth the worst pain. but they keep us in prison under threat of extreme torture as they made someone helping you with suicide a crime, nembutal a crime etc.

Who had the worst death in history?

Eugene Maison Pierre's answer: Kelly Anne Bates Junko Furuta also had a most horrific death but Kelly Anne Bates falls into the same category. She was tortured over a 4 week period by her ‘boyfriend’ until she died but not just torture but torture of the most evil nature. What sticks in my mind...

www.quora.com

idiots call it the worst Death . Death is not painful they suffered because they were tortured before finally dying which was the relief from the torture. there have been worse tortures and left them alive , worse because longer time .

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, to me existence itself is the true problem and I find it deeply undesirable to exist in every way possible, for me non-existence is all that's positive, I see existence itself as a terrible tragic mistake that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can suffer. I'd never wish to exist under any circumstances, I just want non-existence instead, I personally just don't see any benefit to existing rather I see it as a burden to exist and it's a burden so futile and torturous, I see existing as being only suffering and I just wish I never existed more than anything, I'd always prefer to not exist but only never existing is true perfection to me, I'd just never wish to be conscious of anything at all and as long as I exist I'll only hope to not exist, for me non-existence is peace.

 

[areyousafe??]

Someone once asked me "what were the best years of your life?". I get a pang of sadness when I hear about younger people partying and enjoying life, when I see happy families etc. I had an unhappy childhood growing up in a tense environment where I didn't get to be a kid, then spent my teenage/adult years depressed and trying to stay out of hospital.

I wouldn't want to relive anything ever again.

 

[Aplev]

Someone once asked me "what were the best years of your life?". I get a pang of sadness when I hear about younger people partying and enjoying life, when I see happy families etc. I had an unhappy childhood growing up in a tense environment where I didn't get to be a kid, then spent my teenage/adult years depressed and trying to stay out of hospital.

I wouldn't want to relive anything ever again.

Same. Never got to be a kid. I always struggled when people asked such questions. Specially during interviews, or when new in a group and people are trying to break the ice. It shatters my heart when they see how different I am from them, and how consciously or unconsciously, they go on with their own lives, without wanting to have anything to do with me. They get to be happy and enjoy each other's company, while I get to drown in the life that I did not choose.

It's mixed feelings. Sometimes hatred, sometimes indifference.

 

[Skelix]

I remember almost nothing of my childhood, maybe because of the stupid things I did, generating my own traumas, the same with my adolescence.

Conclusion: it was better that they aborted me but they didn't because God has a plan for everyone (Bruh).

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I hear a lot of people say "adult life sucks" or "I wish I could be a kid again" and stuff like that. But to me life always sucked. I wouldn't relive anything ever again for that matter.

Yup I get that allot more then those people who constant live through there childhood or teenage memories, I don't get it, I always hear that same line "back when things were good" "I wish I were back in highschool again" I just don't understand but mabye because I can't even look forward to tomorrow.

 

[cme-dme]

I always hated school, even more than the average kid. So frankly I'm just happy I'm not in school anymore. I had a pretty decent childhood but I wouldn't want to relive it.

 

[Aplev]

I remember almost nothing of my childhood, maybe because of the stupid things I did, generating my own traumas, the same with my adolescence.

Conclusion: it was better that they aborted me but they didn't because God has a plan for everyone (Bruh).

I think if I hear one more time "God has a plan for everyone" or any of its variations ("you'll come out stronger!", "you'll have a stronger sense of achievement!", "you will accomplish great things, people who suffer the most accomplish the most!"), I'm gonna scream for real :p .

 

[Skelix]

I always hated school, even more than the average kid. So frankly I'm just happy I'm not in school anymore. I had a pretty decent childhood but I wouldn't want to relive it.

I can't wait to graduate from that shitty school, that place caused almost all my traumas.





To clarify, I missed a year of school because I was "down" mentally.

 

[Darkover]

i wouldn't ever want to exist because my life has sucked and always will suck

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

My life as an adult is much better than it was when I was a child, my life still sucks, always did, its just better than it was.

 

[Aplev]

I can't wait to graduate from that shitty school, that place caused almost all my traumas.





To clarify, I missed a year of school because I was "down" mentally.

Same here! I missed a year of school because I was "down" mentally. And until this day I have no idea what they told to my peers. All I know is that coming back near the end of the year felt pretty awkward. It was almost like "oh aplev is back (keeps talking with their friend) What do you wanna grab for breakfast?". Well technically I didn't " miss" it but... kinda. Like, I attended a few days at the start, and then didn't attend until pretty much the last day.

My life as an adult is much better than it was when I was a child, my life still sucks, always did, its just better than it was.

I always say the same! That even if my adult life sucks, it's still better than when I was a child. I wouldn't give anything for going back to a child.

 

[Skelix]

Same here! I missed a year of school because I was "down" mentally. And until this day I have no idea what they told to my peers. All I know is that coming back near the end of the year felt pretty awkward. It was almost like "oh aplev is back (keeps talking with their friend) What do you wanna grab for breakfast?". Well technically I didn't " miss" it but... kinda. Like, I attended a few days at the start, and then didn't attend until pretty much the last day.


I always say the same! That even if my adult life sucks, it's still better than when I was a child. I wouldn't give anything for going back to a child.

This forum is great, I can be understood (unlike other places that are toxic). Anyway good luck man

 

[cme-dme]

I can't wait to graduate from that shitty school, that place caused almost all my traumas.





To clarify, I missed a year of school because I was "down" mentally.

High school was the most consistently low part of my life. The best day of high school was when I graduated. I have virtually no good memories of my time there. Middle school was overall better. Dropped out of college in my first year because it was clear to me college will just be HS but worse and somehow more isolating, despite being told otherwise.

 

[Skelix]

My life as an adult is much better than it was when I was a child, my life still sucks, always did, its just better than it was.

It would be great to be an independent adult, but I am ignorant/stupid in everything, still living with my family, they stress me out a lot because of the noise they make but it's not their fault because they work too much.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I guess I'm the outlier in this thread, my childhood was broken but it didn't suck that bad either.

My mom left when I was 5, my dad was a workaholic and recovering alcoholic, and I didn't have siblings so I was alone most of the time. I had free reign and I found things to occupy myself, like I taught myself to code on a Commodore 64, I read the encyclopedia, I played Nintendo, rode my bike. Most of my memories are positive or neutral. I've had a lot of shit thrown my way, but I'm pretty resilient.

I was a skateboarder in high school, and after high school I got a job building skateparks around the US which was very exciting, one of the first high points. It didn't last super long, but I traveled many places had some incredible experiences including loosing my virginity.

I experienced many more high points, I won't list them all, but my life has been more of a roller coaster than a long crawl through the gutter. The low points have been really bad, otherwise I wouldn't be here. Experiencing amazing highs makes the lows even worse.

 

[identity0]

My life as an adult is much better than it was when I was a child, my life still sucks, always did, its just better than it was.

Same for me. I can't believe I used to have to go to that "school" torture prison for over 6 hours every weekday, holy shit. No surprise that it broke me, that's by design

 

[cme-dme]

Same for me. I can't believe I used to have to go to that "school" torture prison for over 6 hours every weekday, holy shit. No surprise that it broke me, that's by design

The education system is designed to turn you into a corporate slave. If you don't fully conform to that system they break you emotionally. I barely graduated HS.

 

[Skelix]

I guess I'm the outlier in this thread, my childhood was broken but it didn't suck that bad either.

My mom left when I was 5, my dad was a workaholic and recovering alcoholic, and I didn't have siblings so I was alone most of the time. I had free reign and I found things to occupy myself, like I taught myself to code on a Commodore 64, I read the encyclopedia, I played Nintendo, rode my bike. Most of my memories are positive or neutral. I've had a lot of shit thrown my way, but I'm pretty resilient.

I was a skateboarder in high school, and after high school I got a job building skateparks around the US which was very exciting, one of the first high points. It didn't last super long, but I traveled many places had some incredible experiences including loosing my virginity.

I experienced many more high points, I won't list them all, but my life has been more of a roller coaster than a long crawl through the gutter. The low points have been really bad, otherwise I wouldn't be here. Experiencing amazing highs makes the lows even worse.

My dad left my mom because they had a fight (she punched him in the stomach), so he was pretty much absent from my life, just paying child support. My mom was also a workaholic, so my grandmother raised me for a long time while I was locked in my fantasy bubble due to the feeling of loneliness from not having friends.

 

[Jorvak]

If you're neurodivergent like I am, and live in a society which is hostile towards you, and deal with Ostracism, disparagement, and disenfranchisement all your life simply for being who you are, then life is always going to sucks. The issue isn't the neurodivergent person, it's a sick and deeply prejudiced society.

 

[Aplev]

If you're neurodivergent like I am, and live in a society which is hostile towards you, and deal with Ostracism, disparagement, and disenfranchisement all your life simply for being who you are, then life is always going to sucks. The issue isn't the neurodivergent person, it's a sick and deeply prejudiced society.

I agree! One of the things that infuriate me the most is when someone says "it's a 'you' problem", or any of its variations ("that's your problem", "you're the problem here", etc. etc.). It's a way of gaslighting and shift blaming, to come out as clean and force someone else to deal with all the BS in society.

 

[L'absent]

Life has never been anything more than a cruel endurance experiment in existential nausea, a slow poisoning that begins with sugar-coated lies and gentle pats on the head, only to culminate in an indigestible mess of failures, disillusionments, and assorted humiliations. The only reason some people remember childhood as a golden age is that their vision wasn't yet sharp enough to see the rot beneath the surface.
As children, we are force-fed a collective opiate: fairy tales of meritocracy, justice, eternal love, and personal fulfillment. Life is sold to us as an epic journey with meaning, a purpose, a promise of happiness. But in reality, it's nothing more than an endless iteration of Stockholm Syndrome toward existence itself. We grow attached to our captor, learn to find pleasure in our chains, convincing ourselves that a sunny Sunday or a fleeting embrace can somehow compensate for the cosmic void we are drowning in.
Then adulthood arrives, dragging along the chemically altered awakening of cynicism, bills, morning alarms, and the crushing realization that everyone who once promised "it gets better" was just reading from a script designed to deceive themselves before deceiving us. There is no redemption, no catharsis—just a slow psychological decomposition, a grotesque patchwork of increasingly desperate defense mechanisms trying to impose meaning onto a farce where everyone pretends to know why they're performing.
They say adult life sucks. No. The problem runs much deeper. Life is suck, in its purest ontological form. The mere fact that we must constantly devise distractions to avoid thinking about it too much is the clearest proof of its inherently toxic nature. Childhood is just pastel-colored packaging for a rotten product we are forced to consume for the rest of our days. The only true act of rebellion is to stop pretending it ever made sense.

 

[NegevChina]

I guess I'm the outlier in this thread, my childhood was broken but it didn't suck that bad either.

My mom left when I was 5, my dad was a workaholic and recovering alcoholic, and I didn't have siblings so I was alone most of the time. I had free reign and I found things to occupy myself, like I taught myself to code on a Commodore 64, I read the encyclopedia, I played Nintendo, rode my bike. Most of my memories are positive or neutral. I've had a lot of shit thrown my way, but I'm pretty resilient.

I was a skateboarder in high school, and after high school I got a job building skateparks around the US which was very exciting, one of the first high points. It didn't last super long, but I traveled many places had some incredible experiences including loosing my virginity.

I experienced many more high points, I won't list them all, but my life has been more of a roller coaster than a long crawl through the gutter. The low points have been really bad, otherwise I wouldn't be here. Experiencing amazing highs makes the lows even worse.

Reminds me of the VIC 20 my parents got me when I was 16. I learned to program it by the booklet it came with. Used Poke and Peek for graphic games. Got a cartridge of Space Invaders to play with. I had a fairly good childhood from my family but my traumas from external events, mainly from the neighborhood caused me CPTSD. I had 2 life threatening events when I was to young to cope with. In the first one, i was about 3 or 4, Ive been pushed by a "friend" from the roof of a 1 floor height and landed on my head and shoulder. Fractured both. The second one was a fire in the building when I was about 7. Seen bad Injury's of people I dont want to mention here. Since then Ive had some more events that are minor in nature but I could not cope with them and they kept traumatizing me. Ive never really been OK since, but with therapy Ive managed to reach 57 years.

 

[Aplev]

Life has never been anything more than a cruel endurance experiment in existential nausea, a slow poisoning that begins with sugar-coated lies and gentle pats on the head, only to culminate in an indigestible mess of failures, disillusionments, and assorted humiliations. The only reason some people remember childhood as a golden age is that their vision wasn't yet sharp enough to see the rot beneath the surface.
As children, we are force-fed a collective opiate: fairy tales of meritocracy, justice, eternal love, and personal fulfillment. Life is sold to us as an epic journey with meaning, a purpose, a promise of happiness. But in reality, it's nothing more than an endless iteration of Stockholm Syndrome toward existence itself. We grow attached to our captor, learn to find pleasure in our chains, convincing ourselves that a sunny Sunday or a fleeting embrace can somehow compensate for the cosmic void we are drowning in.
Then adulthood arrives, dragging along the chemically altered awakening of cynicism, bills, morning alarms, and the crushing realization that everyone who once promised "it gets better" was just reading from a script designed to deceive themselves before deceiving us. There is no redemption, no catharsis—just a slow psychological decomposition, a grotesque patchwork of increasingly desperate defense mechanisms trying to impose meaning onto a farce where everyone pretends to know why they're performing.
They say adult life sucks. No. The problem runs much deeper. Life is suck, in its purest ontological form. The mere fact that we must constantly devise distractions to avoid thinking about it too much is the clearest proof of its inherently toxic nature. Childhood is just pastel-colored packaging for a rotten product we are forced to consume for the rest of our days. The only true act of rebellion is to stop pretending it ever made sense.

This is pretty much how I feel about life.