anyone else getting high right now?

[iloveyouihateyou]

or getting drunk, just any sort of substance. i used to be able to tell my friends about all my times spent doing drugs but nowadays despite them still partaking, seem to just try and discourage me from doing anything out of worry for me or something like that. i just wish they would be a friend rather than be some sort of mentor i never asked for. anyways, i just drank a beer right when i woke up and now i'm smoking weed and a cigarette in order to lube myself up to get through another day. i've been wasting so so much money but i don't even care anymore, i know i'll be wasting more and more as the week/month progresses. i wish i had xanax again but i don't have enough to sustain paying for those so regularly so i buy "cheaper" things like smokes and drinks. what are you on right now? how does it feel? and even if you're not on anything, how does life feel for you? for me, it feels like nothing is real anymore

regardless i hope you have a nice day today!

 

[Grim days]

Wish i could, bf would freak out if I did. Used to use gear (if youn know, you know) recreationally. Shocked me to find out how common it is. Had an easy time of it too, kept it recreational, no cravings, took care of myself so minimal crash/hangover, and could easily sleep while high or hungover.
Used to be the highpoint of my month, zero'd out my stress levels and felt like I could handle life again. Now I haven't used in years. It's not a healthy solution, but miss having it to balance the scales, so to speak.

 

[CatLvr]

Haha! I wish!

 

[CryingLuci]

I miss cocaine

 

[pilotviolin]

i wish, i might be tonight its friday i hve nothing on i only have dxm and decarbed weed but tbh idk how id handle it with my mood and i ordered 12 3g bottles of dxm but i just cant get myself to bother taking it, which i guess is a good thing. if i do ill probably be listening to music. i saw a post where you said you enjoy music, what do you listen to?

the few times i have went out, i talked to a 40something guy and he talked about rolling in the 90s and keeping memories in a "pocket" that he held close to my heart. i have to admit any pockets i can think of right now is just listening to the same music as someone else online high. but thats just the online version of getting fucked up at raves in the 90s listening to nice music with other people. gotta love watch2gether and spotify jams haha. man now im thinking about how much of my life has just been around other online people getting high or something, i have a fair few horror stories. i saw another post talking about how you can just find communities of users and yeah, its not really fruitful IME like everywhere u go theres cliques and shit but i guess when youre there everyones got something in common lol. the only way i really expanded who i talked to in my last years of school was smoking weed and vaping i dont think people would have wanted to talk to me if i didnt but then people dont want to talk to you if they figure you do use drugs. its weird what you observe in retrospect.

to answer your question i just feel ok then something consumes me and i make a fool outof myself from hopelessness, frustration, lonliness, paranoia etc then its ok or meh and rinse repeat every few hours.

may i ask if you get withdrawals from anything? i guess it might be hard to track if youre using different things but just curious.

 

[astr4]

yeah weed benzos adderall my trifecta of happiness

drugs are the only thing that make life tolerable idk maybe if i were sober i could fix my life up and make friends and find a meaningful job but i feel so defeated even my therapist doesn't care about me so idk

drugs are better than ctb, but ctb is better than living sober.

 

[scarecrowceb]

Off the alcohol and blow as per usual. Today I managed to get 5 songs done, bad thing the plug didn't hit me back I wanted more

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

hello peoples i will be replying to everyone in this post!

...Now I haven't used in years. It's not a healthy solution, but miss having it to balance the scales, so to speak.

oh wow how common do you think it is for people to use gear recreationally? i've never done but from what you're saying i'm sure i'm in for a surprise... i'm happy to hear you haven't used in a long time, that takes alot of strength that people don't really acknowledge... i understand missing it for sure i genuinely don't know what i would do without substances nowadays so you deserve a pat on the back

Haha! I wish!

i feel that.. i shall take this shot in your honor my friend, cheeers my guy

I miss cocaine

me too :( i haven't done blow in so long all my friends hate it but i definitely don't.. what's keeping you from using? (not to be a bad influence or anything though)

...may i ask if you get withdrawals from anything? i guess it might be hard to track if youre using different things but just curious.

@pilotviolin oh i've never done dxm before but before i used to want to try it so badly, what does it feel like for you? you say you have decarbed weed i'm assuming you have a dry herb vape or something? if i were you, i would throw that on a chocolate and eat it. i used to do that during desperate times (still would though)...

i can relate to what you're saying about online experiences like alot of my memories take place infront of a screen getting fried out of my mind hanging with peoples, i don't regret a thing though tbh it really is just today's version of older pastimes like you said. i still do the same shit minus all the friends cause of... life. and yeah i feel you on that, i feel like most people i know nowadays liked me cause to them i liked to get "turnt" (reality is i can't deal with life) but as time went on, for me people started to discourage me more or act like a "bigger" person, like genuinely idek it just feels super double edged.... that's just my experience though, yours reminded me of mine

the cycle sounds all too familar like i'm just chilling and then i think for a second and then i lose my mind and then i return to state 1 but higher.. ha. to answer your questions, i do get withdrawals from xanax for sure but i make sure i always taper off so they're not as bad/dangerous as they could be. is it weird to say one is used to experiencing withdrawal? idk from my experience it's just a part of doing drugs after alot of use, i expect it and i don't think much of it unless it's mentioned.

and music, i really love all kinds of music genuinely. but to be more specific right now i like listening to rock, hip hop, rnb music, emo rap, hyperpop, honestly anything that sounds nice i listen to happily. do you have any recommendations?

...drugs are better than ctb, but ctb is better than living sober.

@astr4 sounds like a good combo to me, i wish i had more of all 3 of those but alas i only have weed and alcohol rn. what's your favorite benzo? i love xanax i honestly need it on a shirt... adderall is cool but i find it makes me too robotic, i like doing vyvanse more it gets me sooo geeked up. and yeah i hear what you're saying, drugs are literally one of my only constant joys in life it's so sad to admit but it's too true to deny. i feel the same like i feel like if i were sober i could probably fix things but i can't even stay sober long enough to try. i'm still trying to find a job, i hope you can too. i try to motivate myself by thinking of all the drugs i could buy if i had one lol. did your therapist say something insensitve to you? if so that's really messed up, i hate how people pay for therapy just to be let down in multitudes of ways. it really is so hard to be sober, i agree with u 100% i live to be high and i'd rather die than be alive without them... i'm shameless

Off the alcohol and blow as per usual. Today I managed to get 5 songs done, bad thing the plug didn't hit me back I wanted more

i've never tried that combo but it certainly sounds interesting, i'm trying to imagine what it would feel like... and wow you make music? do you produce your own instrumentals or do you have a band/get from online? i like making music aswell! and aw i hope your plug can restock you i swear i go bonkers when mine doesn't pick up (luckily they usually do!)

-

it's really fun to read/reply to everyones posts.. thanks for sharing your thoughts and i hope you are all doing decent today :D

 

[CryingLuci]

me too :( i haven't done blow in so long all my friends hate it but i definitely don't.. what's keeping you from using? (not to be a bad influence or anything though)

I honestly think it's just the financial aspect of it. If I could afford an addiction I would do it. So once I get rich I'm back on it lol.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I was yesterday. I feel like I didn't really feel it all that much but maybe it's because I had to hold back and stop myself from giving too much away.