Anyone else getting anxiety as their ctb date gets closer? Do you think you'll be able to bring yourself to do it?

[rudebeat]

One last other question. Have you ever attempted to ctb before?
I only have 13 days left, assuming a doctor's appointment on the 21st goes badly which it probably will. I can feel the anxiety starting to build a little bit. Even when I've been extremely anxious years before on my planned ctb dates I've always been able to bring myself right to the edge of attempting suicide but always stopped just before doing it. The main reason I didn't go through with it before was because I didn't have a good method. Now that I have sn I think I have a pretty high chance of dying this time. It almost doesn't feel real.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I don't have a set date, but I have N in my bathroom cabinet. I know that eventually I'm going to use it and when I see it, I get a bit lightheaded. It feels very surreal.

 

[rationaltake]

I have SN. My existence no longer bears much resemblance to ordinary life. I need to go soon. I wonder if I can do it. I have to.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like in my case I would never be able to stick to a specific date, I will leave when I get desperate and the pain of living gets to be unbearable. I have not properly attempted, even know I have never wanted to be alive. It is just the fear of failure holding me back as well as the lack of peaceful and reliable way to exit. My life is very depressing. I am so tired of living. I just wish it was easier to leave. I wish you the best.

 

[Interloper]

That's why I don't put a date on it, way too much anxiety from any sort of appointment. I'll just go ahead with it when the day is right.

I know that eventually I'm going to use it and when I see it, I get a bit lightheaded. It feels very surreal.

My god yes the lightheadedness when I see my CTB stuff in my drawer, it does feel surreal. Hopefully I don't pass out when I'm trying to pour it into a glass. :^)

 

[completely-done]

I have 2 days left, if all the components I have planned goes as scheduled. I'll at least be gone by Sunday. Yes, I'm getting a lot of anxiety but I just distract myself. I'm definitely going to succeed and I'm very happy about this

 

[ikadasui]

I had planned to be gone by christmas but clearly that didn't happen. Next attempt will be on my bday which is coming up soon I've just always kind of romanticed dying on the day I was born, but we'll see if i'll have the balls to do it

 

[nosoul]

I failed in the hotel 2x tried partial hanging but on low door with a bedsheets, then had SN stuff out, nit mixed but stopped beginning of regiment. I'm trying to do asap but si is strong for me sadly