Venting Anyone else gets irritated immensely when they see their abusers doing well in life?

[nopointofliving]

Whenever I get flashbacks and remember how much they hurt me, I see how happy they are, how good they do!! And I'm here drowning in my depression. It's very hard for me to swallow. I believe Karma doesn't hit back. And seriously, I don't want it to hit them back. I just want them to recognize and admit how awfully they ruined my life.

I can't believe they are there making a family, having kids. And I'm here dying with an ugly face in my ugly darkness. I'm really sad, disappointed... I want to die, but I can't. I want to get out of here. Even if I left here, they will keep on living like nothing happens. How awful is life!!! how horrible are humans!!!! I'm really tired!!!!!!!!!!

 

[WornOutLife]

I can relate.

I used to check the social networks of all the bad people and bullies from my school and I hated how some of them had great lives.

Then, as I got older, that hatred started to vanish because I just finally understood that it was pointless to worry about it.

Some of them will always have great whereas some others won't.

(Easier said than done, of course. Some weeks ago I texted an ex bully classmate, basically told him what a jerk he was at school and he just asked me for forgiveness lol. Ridiculous!)

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

Yeah two of the people that made education hell for me have both done a masters in psychology at prestigious universities whilst I'm suffering from multiple mental illnesses that they contributed to.

 

[PaxAmerica]

It was not until lately that I came to realise exactly how unfair life is. I found some help reading/watching Marcus Aurelius and stoic philosophers. I dont worry so much now. Once you realise your situation isnt unique at all you kind of appreciate not being an assole yourself. Trust me I have met so many assoles.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

yes, extremely

 

[nopointofliving]

(Easier said than done, of course. Some weeks ago I texted an ex bully classmate, basically told him what a jerk he was at school and he just asked me for forgiveness lol. Ridiculous!)

Yeah, I read that post. What happened then? Did you reply back?

Then, as I got older, that hatred started to vanish because I just finally understood that it was pointless to worry about it.

unfortunately , I still feel bad

Yeah two of the people that made education hell for me have both done a masters in psychology at prestigious universities whilst I'm suffering from multiple mental illnesses that they contributed to.

Life is unfair for real. I'm very sorry you had to pass through this.

It was not until lately that I came to realise exactly how unfair life is. I found some help reading/watching Marcus Aurelius and stoic philosophers. I dont worry so much now. Once you realise your situation isnt unique at all you kind of appreciate not being an assole yourself. Trust me I have met so many assoles.

It's sad that we met such people in our life. No matter how good we are, yet we suffer more than others.

yes, extremely

I'm sorry dear... hugs <3

 

[Pookie]

I don't know exactly how well my biggest enemy on this planet is doing but she seems to be doing reasonably okay. And that irritates the hell out of me because I want her to suffer just like she makes all her victims suffer.

She sabotages and ruins lives because she enjoys it. I do know for a fact that she's bored with the guy she entrapped with babies and that gives me some satisfaction. But if she were to die today I wouldn't feel happiness, I wouldn't feel sadness, I'd just feel relief that she can't hurt anyone anymore.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, I read that post. What happened then? Did you reply back?


unfortunately , I still feel bad


Life is unfair for real. I'm very sorry you had to pass through this.


It's sad that we met such people in our life. No matter how good we are, yet we suffer more than others.


I'm sorry dear... hugs <3

Yess! I basically told him that I was surprised and wish him the best with his family.

I'm really sorry you had to suffer.

I cam't believe how unfair life can be! :(

 

[TooConscious]

Oh yes.
I got sick of everyone around me telling me the obvious that resentment is not good for us and to stop being bitter about my life.

But it's a perfectly rational thought in this hellhole, cruel sick evil place, seeing people who have destroyed you not face any consequences for the damage they did to other people and have gained from it, they get respect because they know how to put on a good act talking, walking, dressing etc.
Where as us who are angry at the injustice become fucked.
And people tell you life's good and the worlds very brotherly and accepting.
I felt like that for years....
But forgive and follow me into the land of love called earth as it is!!!!
it will all be good you will wonder why you were ever using such site, thinking about something you can no longer comprehend because you enjoy the bounty that life offers us all fairly so much!!
God bless!!
Peace brother
May the love be with you

 

[Neowise]

This thread made me check out the Facebook profile of a guy who used to bully me and make all his friends (many) bully me, too.
He is really successful at life. Studying in South America, worked for several companies, relationship, high self esteem, working as a photographer and trying to get a spice business going.

This doesn't make me mad or irritated though, it makes me rather sad because I didn't manage to make anything out of my life. I just suck and probably deserved to be bullied. I wasn't born to be successful, I have an abusive mother that drained every little self respect I had. My bully didn't, he had great parents. I don't blame him, I blame the life lottery and myself.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I just suck and probably deserved to be bullied. I wasn't born to be successful, I have an abusive mother that drained every little self respect I had. My bully didn't, he had great parents. I don't blame him, I blame the life lottery and myself.

No you did not deserve you be bullied. This is why is is called "bullying" - because it is wrong. Personally I would blame him, because he is still responsible for putting you through abuse. This is actually one of the symptoms of abuse: the victim has convinced themselves that it is somehow their fault; abusive individuals have a skill of trying to twist the situation to their benefit.

The chances in life, and his and your parenting is not an excuse for what he has done.

 

[S like suicide]

no, I've gotten to the point now that I don't care about anyone or anything

no, I've gotten to the point now that I don't care about anyone or anything

But i used to

 

[Fehler]

I think I can consider myself a bit of luck not having suffered much bullying in my youth. Within days of starting high school, one of them strangled me (for no reason) until I was red. After a few years, I found out that he was locked up for killing an old woman for driving while drugged; the truth was that that suited me very well (although I felt bad for the old woman).
There was another one that bothered me but he ended up repeating 2 years so when I finished high school he still had 2 more years left lol.
Finally, the only one who punched me a little I know about him (not that I am on social networks either) but being the kind of rabble that he was, I don't think he will get very far. There is another that is not that he was bullying but was the typical pimp flirt who did not treat his partners very well. Now he is one of the first of the group to become a father (unwanted); I am quite sorry for the little one because unless he changes he will not have a good father. It must not be very healthy but I am very happy about the suffering of others who deserve it.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I am sorry for everyone who has to deal with this.

For me, my dad comes a close second as my worst abuser but at least I can live better knowing his life right now is fairly decrepit.

Unfortunately my actual worst abuser is myself and just like any abuser, I also feel intense hatred seeing said abuser even come close to any form of success which leads to me sabotaging any good opportunities that come my way sometimes intentionally. It also prevents me from wanting to strive to improve myself in any way as an act of defiance to punish my own abuser.

Of course I am aware that this is because I'm also the one dishing out the abuse and that I am just perpetuating this annoying cycle and it probably won't end until I stop being at war with myself which will only happen when die or if I somehow had a girlfriend because the only time I even got close to feeling like one person instead of two was when I got close to being in a relationship. Unfortunately the latter is far more impossible than just dying is.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

Yeah, I have been abused and bullied; the people who have mistreated me have it far better than I do. It's frustrating & one of the reasons I want to die.

 

[AE2021]

My abusers were immediate family. What I found annoying as an adult is how they acted as if it never happened, and extended family just turned a blind eye to it. I finally got the strength to totally disconnect from them - set myself free. And I don't hate them any more - that takes too much energy. They are nothing to me but an occasional bad memory.

 

[Obliviate]

This. That's how you know Karma(as we know it) is not real and prayer isn't real either

 

[oneeyed]

Used to look up online, my bullies and people who took advantage of me. Still gets me pissed off. Clearly there's some sort of connection between abuse (physical or mental/emotional) and psychological issues. So I'm here trying to live whatever pathetic life, mentally damaged, and they're going about their merry way. One thing to note though, social media posts typically only show the good. So hopefully it's just a facade and they're miserable. Last time I tried searching for them, I couldn't find anything, good riddence. If they dropped dead in pain in front of me, I'd probably smile, as evil they may sound.

 

[Shoko]

There's nothing worst, in my opinion, when a family member gets in the way of your recovery. Motivates me to kill myself and and as strange this may sound she's doing me a favor. It's been a short battle with depression and anxiety that I wouldn't be able to win with the obstacles blocking my way to get better. I gave it a shot and no one can say I didn't.