Anyone else feel like they are supposed to be dead but something won’t let u?

[Final Escape]

I feel like I was supposed to die much sooner in repeated accidents but something saved me. There's been too many close calls where I could see I should have died but apparently it was not my time. Many potential car accidents, almost rear ended a cop going downhill looked up just in time and barely missed hitting him, how I didn't graze his vehicle as I swerved to change lanes I'll never know lol! It was that close to rear ending where had I waited one more moment type thing. There were so many of these. I once spun off the interstate into a ditch it was insane. Some people stopped and pulled me out lol! Almost got run over by an Escalade, one more second and I was toast as I crossed the street the Escalade sped up as I was crossing the street. I survived 5 abortions without injury or complications but I did develop worsening mental health as a result and still cry over choosing to allow the termination of all my children. Just shit like this is why I'm shocked I have not been able to be pushed over the edge yet. I feel it is getting closer that I will. I'm at very high risk of suicide because I'm a quiet borderline or more acting in type bpd plus a prostitute.

 

[Squiddy]

2012 should've killed me, yet here I am

 

[Final Escape]

What happened again? I know u mentioned before but I'm stoned right now lol!

 

[ARW3N]

The things which I feel are obstructing me from death are the survival instinct and the lack of access to painless methods of exiting the world, no thanks to those involved in suicide prevention.

 

[Final Escape]

The things which I feel are obstructing me from death are the survival instinct and the lack of access to painless methods of exiting the world, no thanks to those involved in suicide prevention.

Right

 

[BabyYoda]

I still wanna do some stuff while I'm still here like travel and watch new anime

 

[Final Escape]

I still wanna do some stuff while I'm still here like travel and watch new anime

Right it's the little things that help keep u going even if life sucks.

 

[Sideswipe]

I get where you are coming from. I have witnessed the most outgoing and happy people die while I had failed attempts one after the other. Then there is these moments where I have closed my eyes as I knew death was imminent like for instance; street racing and coming up to a roundabout I didn't know was there.. overtaking on the wrong side of the road with an oncoming lorry and I closed my eyes while my ass bit the seat. When I opened them I safely the other side of the roundabout... I have woken on the edge of a cliff face after an OD and been paralysed temporary by hypothermia so couldn't pull myself over still... jumped off a bridge.. never broke a single bone... sat In a lorry travelling down a steep hill when the breaks failed.. unharmed.. a friend put me through her windscreen.. not wearing a seatbelt.. just a headache. Was T boned on a jumction (statistics state 9/10 drivers die in Tbone accidents) I got a lifetime of pain... I've had meningitis. I've gone into respiratory arrest due to allergies, had a heart attack caused by a mistake by Drs.. the list goes on. I feel like I could jump out of a plane with no parachute and land on my feet.. it's like i'm bloody invincible...

Then around me the nicest of people loose battles with Cancer, die of rate conditions, have failing organs I wish I could donate. Children dying.. elderly.. unexpected adults in random accidents or illnesses. Botched surgery gone wrong and caused death.. what the hell.. I swear sometimes that my nan died young to be our guardian angel.. that or she made a deal with the grim reaper to not take any of us (us as in my family)

 

[Final Escape]

I get where you are coming from. I have witnessed the most outgoing and happy people die while I had failed attempts one after the other. Then there is these moments where I have closed my eyes as I knew death was imminent like for instance; street racing and coming up to a roundabout I didn't know was there.. overtaking on the wrong side of the road with an oncoming lorry and I closed my eyes while my ass bit the seat. When I opened them I safely the other side of the roundabout... I have woken on the edge of a cliff face after an OD and been paralysed temporary by hypothermia so couldn't pull myself over still... jumped off a bridge.. never broke a single bone... sat In a lorry travelling down a steep hill when the breaks failed.. unharmed.. a friend put me through her windscreen.. not wearing a seatbelt.. just a headache. Was T boned on a jumction (statistics state 9/10 drivers die in Tbone accidents) I got a lifetime of pain... I've had meningitis. I've gone into respiratory arrest due to allergies, had a heart attack caused by a mistake by Drs.. the list goes on. I feel like I could jump out of a plane with no parachute and land on my feet.. it's like i'm bloody invincible...

Then around me the nicest of people loose battles with Cancer, die of rate conditions, have failing organs I wish I could donate. Children dying.. elderly.. unexpected adults in random accidents or illnesses. Botched surgery gone wrong and caused death.. what the hell.. I swear sometimes that my nan died young to be our guardian angel.. that or she made a deal with the grim reaper to not take any of us (us as in my family)

Yes this is exactly what I mean. How are we still here if there's nothing sparing us for some reason lol! I think it's karma. Maybe because I did something in a past life I'm being forced to remain in hell here until God is ready to take me out.

 

[Squiddy]

What happened again? I know u mentioned before but I'm stoned right now lol!

People predicted that the world would end in 2012, but it didn't

 

[enjoy]

yes! something's holding me back, but it's not my survival instinct. my brain just keeps telling me to wait - just in case - as if something will come save me from my desire to ctb when i least expect it, and if i ctb now, i'll never know if i was actually going to be rescued.

 

[Roberto]

I feel like I was supposed to die much sooner in repeated accidents but something saved me. There's been too many close calls where I could see I should have died but apparently it was not my time. Many potential car accidents, almost rear ended a cop going downhill looked up just in time and barely missed hitting him, how I didn't graze his vehicle as I swerved to change lanes I'll never know lol! It was that close to rear ending where had I waited one more moment type thing. There were so many of these. I once spun off the interstate into a ditch it was insane. Some people stopped and pulled me out lol! Almost got run over by an Escalade, one more second and I was toast as I crossed the street the Escalade sped up as I was crossing the street. I survived 5 abortions without injury or complications but I did develop worsening mental health as a result and still cry over choosing to allow the termination of all my children. Just shit like this is why I'm shocked I have not been able to be pushed over the edge yet. I feel it is getting closer that I will. I'm at very high risk of suicide because I'm a quiet borderline or more acting in type bpd plus a prostitute.

I feel the same. I don't believe in any God or anything, but if I could open my mind and say why I'm still here, I would say, that I have a guardian angel or the like. I sometimes don't understand how I had so much luck. Too much. In those little things in life. Being in the right place in the right moment. Doing the right thing in the right moment. I don't know. It's probably a mind trick, nothing else. The psychiatrist said that I was lucky to be alive. Could be ... bad luck. Later in the years I saw (if I don't recall badly) the two overdosing pills were cancelling each other and that saved me. But I don't say it because of that. Things that happen sometimes. It is like a programmed situation. For instance, one day I was bullied by one guy in the high school, and he robbed me a pen. He told me, I will return it to you if you can catch the pen. He was holding the pen by one edge and letting fall at any moment. And I could catch the pen at the same instant he let the pen fall. But the pen couldn't fall a centimeter, it was so quick. He at last told me that I had very good reflexes. It wasn't that : I had too much good luck. It is a silly thing. Other things like being in one place and behind you fall a crystal window from a flat on the building I was walking behind ... the way I got into a car before the door was close by another one and didn't see me I was going in, going in bike and drive it in a situation I lost control in a ramp and a turn around at the end, things that I did and say : How did I do it? I they suppose are normal things ... just a trick of the mind, that makes us think that there could be something else acting without us noticing it.

 

[Moonicide]

Yes, very much so. I had a near death experience at 9. I was being silly and swinging on a chair, there was a glass cage behind me and I fell. The chair shattered the glass and my head fell into the cage. My neck was so close to be sliced, but by some miraculous reason I held my head up and that saved me. Not only that, but before I was even born, my mother wanted to abort me and she was too far along so she was stuck with having me. How awful is that? I've recently also went through one of my old phones and saw an old suicide method list starting back in 2014...

I've always danced with death, but this time around I'm going to embrace it.

 

[MysticPerception]

I am the living epitome of should be dead. This is a true story from my mother that the doctor told her after showing her a scan. I had wrapped the umbilical cord around my neck and had to be born three days earlier or else I would have strangled myself in the womb. I tried to hang myself in the womb! I'm pissed at my fetus self for not doing it faster. But beyond that I've nearly died multiple times in my childhood. Nearly bled to death from wounds, nearly drowned twice, nearly got strangled by a pissed off kid when I was in elementary school and had to be carried home and an ambulance was called. I also got hit by a car while on a bike but I was fine afterwards. I even got into a car crash and came out unscathed despite being on the side of the impact. I am so unlucky when it comes to dying by chance that my mother has dothed me her lucky clover. I wish I was lucky at getting what I want because I'd be dead by circumstance then.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I've had some near death experiences, train crash in 2006, overdoses, surgeries etc. I always thought there was a purpose behind surviving, but felt wrong for so long.

 

[Skathon]

It is as though fate finds it amusing I am indeed immortal... I would not be excessively surprised if I remained alive (undead?) after being decapitated.

 

[Luchs]

I feel like I was supposed to die much sooner in repeated accidents but something saved me. There's been too many close calls where I could see I should have died but apparently it was not my time. Many potential car accidents, almost rear ended a cop going downhill looked up just in time and barely missed hitting him, how I didn't graze his vehicle as I swerved to change lanes I'll never know lol! It was that close to rear ending where had I waited one more moment type thing. There were so many of these. I once spun off the interstate into a ditch it was insane. Some people stopped and pulled me out lol! Almost got run over by an Escalade, one more second and I was toast as I crossed the street the Escalade sped up as I was crossing the street. I survived 5 abortions without injury or complications but I did develop worsening mental health as a result and still cry over choosing to allow the termination of all my children. Just shit like this is why I'm shocked I have not been able to be pushed over the edge yet. I feel it is getting closer that I will. I'm at very high risk of suicide because I'm a quiet borderline or more acting in type bpd plus a prostitute.

I feel exactly the same! I was deathly ill right after I was born and only managed to closely avoid death and since then it seems like something is trying to kill me, like I am supposed to have died back then. I've had so many close calls involving high places and cars that I lost count, like something is trying to kill me but there also is something protecting me.