Discussion Anyone else doesn’t feel like writing suicide letters

[itistimetoleave]

I don't know why but I don't feel like leaving any message/letter/email/video to my loved ones before I ctb. I don't want to give anyone closure. And it's not becoz I don't love them or care for them, I love them to death. But, I just can't seem to say goodbye becoz everytime I think of them, I can't ctb. The only way I can do this is by not thinking about them. I know they won't get closure but I hope they understand that the pain is unbearable and I should go.

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

Takes a lot of effort for me to sit and think and write notes, I'm still novwhere near done... it would be a lot easier if I didn't have to, but I feel guilty enough ctb'ing without the added guilt of not leaving any explanation

 

[MeltingHeart]

No one will read mine- I can imagine they would get thrown straight in the bin or in the fire probs- even though ive basically written a small book about why

 

[cantthinkofanickname]

I'm not going to do it either. Because I don't think anyone would give a shit about my suicide note. Plus no one around me deserves an explanation. I tried to explain while I was still breathing and they couldn't care less. It doesn't matter anymore.

 

[kypnrp]

I don't, either, but for a different reason: I don't know how much is enough or too little, I think either people won't read or not get enough closure. Also, I really need to be careful with my wording, because I need to make it clear that a good deal of my reasons are my parents' fault (that's my only hope of getting the smallest bit of justice, telling others what they've done -- which honestly, would be a public service announcement, too, because they pose danger to other people) but at the same time suicide here is generally seen as weakness around here and I'm afraid they'll end up being praised instead.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

No, I keep a daily journal of my current health, my feelings , and comments to those I love as well as fond memories. That will be my "note" for everyone who is mentioned to read. It will end up being many many pages. I think that will say more and mean more than a single note right before.

 

[Meant2Die]

This is what I wrote last night on someone's goodbye thread regarding this topic..

I also don't think I'll leave any letters. Every time I go to write one I just ended up spending pages upon pages trying to explain everything and never feel like I got my point across, like they will actually understand the reasons for why I have to do it, then I throw it away. It's like I'm trying to explain myself for doing something wrong, like a child. Well Im not a child, I've thought about this for years, and I just don't want to suffer anymore. I might just last minute do something real simple like « sorry, I just can't anymore, I hope you can forgive me ». And yes, it also makes me really sad to write them and I don't wanna think about that. I will however probably leave like an instructional note, saying I want to be cremated and who gets what.

 

[lightsoutnow]

if i were to write a letter, it would just be repetitive of what i've been trying to say, cried about and attempted to communicate in various ways when i'm still alive.

people say that they care, but they aren't willing to listen or help now, so why would it matter and what would change when i'm dead by leaving a letter? i'm tired of repeating myself, and being misunderstood as using my struggles & pain to be attention seeking.

oh but i'm sure that there would be crocodile tears and "why didn't she say anything?"

 

[UninformedLover]

At first I was but not anymore. They are pretty difficult to write. Plus I find it quite redundant. Everything I planned to write in my suicide notes (i.e how sad I am and etc) is common knowledge to the people I planned on giving them too and if they don't care about my words now what makes you think they'll care about them then?

 

[cantthinkofanickname]

if i were to write a letter, it would just be repetitive of what i've been trying to say, cried about and attempted to communicate in various ways when i'm still alive.

people say that they care, but they aren't willing to listen or help now, so why would it matter and what would change when i'm dead by leaving a letter? i'm tired of repeating myself, and being misunderstood as using my struggles & pain to be attention seeking.

oh but i'm sure that there would be crocodile tears and "why didn't she say anything?"

I think I'm going to write just "lmao". It makes everything clear. And maybe a song should play in the back. "If you're happy clap your hands! Clap, clap, clap..."

 

[lightsoutnow]

I think I'm going to write just "lmao". It makes everything clear. And maybe a song should play in the back. "If you're happy clap your hands! Clap, clap, clap..."

I would like to have "I've no more fucks to give" by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq played but i think that will be frowned on..

 

[cantthinkofanickname]

I would like to have "I've no more fucks to give" by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq played but i think that will be frowned on..

That's a brilliant choice.

 

[LivingToLong]

I wouldn't. It's not even a question for me and so I've not given it any thought. I doubt I'd know what to write anyway. I'd have no desire to explain myself, as if I could. I'm not even sure I know why myself.

People always want to know 'why' for everything. I couldn't give a nice, neat little answer - they'd come up with their own ideas anyway.

No, it'd be too much effort (and discomfort) for me to write, and it'd not give any answers/closure for anyway (not sufficient anyway).... so why bother?

 

[Thatdude]

To be honest, I think the only letter that should be written is your will. Like who gets what, and what you want done with your body. Like if you want others to know why, then OK. But I don't think it's needed.

Like think of it like this. If you go out to town and a truck hits you as you cross the street. You won't have a letter talking about how much you miss everyone or whatever. But people would be screwed 1 fighting the government for your stuff since the government will most likely see it as theirs since you don't have a will. And 2, it makes it easier on them to follow order than make the orders.

Note just legally what it takes to make a will legal. Depending on the area, you might need a lawyer, or you might need people seeing you sign a paper, or whatever.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I definitely feel the same. The more and more I think about them the harder and harder it becomes to ctb. I love a few people and feel like they deserve a sort of clousure and I have been procrastinating getting around to writing them. I just feel like the further I push their feelings out of sight out of mind I'll finally maybe one day be able to ctb.

 

[fruitbats]

I won't write a note just because there are people who are to blame but I still love them so I don't want them to carry that weight, and I know if I wrote to explain I'd have to tell the truth.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I'm not going to write one either. First of all I suck at words, secondly even if I did manage to ramble something up it would appear melodramatic which isn't my goal at all, and finally I'm mostly afraid of it ending up in the wrong hands and being shared on social media or something for petty likes.

 

[WhiteDespair]

"Figure it out, CU...!!!"

If I want to be obnoxious.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I honestly don't feel like writing one either but I don't want the cops to think anyone murdered me.

 

[C_F]

if i were to write a letter, it would just be repetitive of what i've been trying to say, cried about and attempted to communicate in various ways when i'm still alive.

people say that they care, but they aren't willing to listen or help now, so why would it matter and what would change when i'm dead by leaving a letter? i'm tired of repeating myself, and being misunderstood as using my struggles & pain to be attention seeking.

oh but i'm sure that there would be crocodile tears and "why didn't she say anything?"

Same boat as you!

 

[hypatia]

On one hand I feel like I don't want to. I can't be arsed because I just want to get it over with and I think that if I started writing I'd get too emotional and it'd make things harder.
On the other hand, it bothers me that some of the people who have hurt me the most could come up as victims and receive sympathy or that people could assume I did it for the wrong reasons.
But I always think that once I'm gone I won't care about what others think, so I probably won't write any note. If anything, a declaration for my organs to be donated.