Anyone else discussed wish to die with someone they know?

[AtomicNewt]

Just wondering if anyone has mentioned plans to end their life soon with anyone directly? How did they take it? Why did you share it with them?

I've felt suicidal on and off since I was 17 (now 33) although the very few times I've mentioned it has mostly, actually entirely, been met with anger or not believing its serious. Suppose I'm still here but how I feel now is constant, different in that I don't want to try anymore - I know that I've tried all of the other options and waiting-and-seeing shit that everyone always preaches about (without actually understanding or caring about)

Apologies for rant, just wondered what other people's experiences of telling and not telling people have been.

 

[PatKat]

Just wondering if anyone has mentioned plans to end their life soon with anyone directly? How did they take it? Why did you share it with them?

I've felt suicidal on and off since I was 17 (now 33) although the very few times I've mentioned it has mostly, actually entirely, been met with anger or not believing its serious. Suppose I'm still here but how I feel now is constant, different in that I don't want to try anymore - I know that I've tried all of the other options and waiting-and-seeing shit that everyone always preaches about (without actually understanding or caring about)

Apologies for rant, just wondered what other people's experiences of telling and not telling people have been.

My family, and 2 friends know<that's all I have irl>. I havent talked about it to my friends in a while because it scares them, they call suicide hotlines, and welfare checks on me. My family though I can tell them stuff without fear of getting a call or knock.

 

[memento_mori]

yup, tried to make a suicide pact as a teen, then one of my friends freaked out saying it's probably illegal ( well yeah duh) to gather a bunch of people together to mass suicide.
another suicide attempt got advised to see therapy by my school.
other people just shrug it off or raise their eyebrows if I tell them I've attempted suicide.
now I don't tell people coz I don't want to be stopped/ I don't think they care any way

 

[jake3d]

I told one of my best friends. He did not understand it at first but eventually he came to the conclusion that i shouldn't take it like he supports my decision in any way, but he'd do the same if he were in my shoes.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Yes, I told my partner.
He was understandibly worried and angry, called me selfish for mr attempting it
He thinks I should tell my doctor, but at the same time he's too worried about me getting sectioned and thinks that would do me more harm then good.

 

[Saiti]

yes, i told my mother i was going to kill my self soon. She's a religious woman and told me god would want no part of me and i'd go to hell. I overheard her making a phone call later to someone mentioning how she was afraid for my life. Whoever she called told her to hide things like my belts and the medicine in the cabinet. I had a rope under my bed that i removed while mopping/sweeping under my bed, she came in unexpected and took the rope when she saw it. She's also been trying to get me committed numerous times since.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

Yes... 13 years ago I told my dad, I explained to him my deep pain and told him it was not going away, after a few weeks he accepted my choice. So I built a helium exit hood , and I chickened out. Then in the next year my life got way better and I was happy I didnt ctb. I just wish I had held on to that helium because now it's almost impossible to get pure helium. It never occurred to me I should have saved it, I figured it would always be available. My Dad died 4 weeks ago, and honestly I'm ready to join him. He was always understanding of my pain, and I could always talk to him without fear of him calling the cops... I think I was lucky... most people cant confide In loved ones.

 

[lymbo]

yes, wyth my mom and bro

 

[LonelyLight]

Yes I told my two best friends and hmmm I won't say how it went

 

[MourningHeart]

Yes, i told one of my sisters and my wife.

7 years ago, my sister hated my for that. Now shes still very angry but she finally understands my feelings - i was relieved somehow...

When i told my wife, i had to die - she said she knows that... Because we know each others thoughts and feelings so well. But it hurts so much to hear that - the person i value most, would let me die... even though it was not meant to be evil.

 

[Ark]

I told two of my older children, they both support one's right to make that decision for themself. They both have expressed that it will hurt and they doubt want me to. But, they support me in my decision and won't call EMT's if I do it at home and warn them so they know to leave me alone all night as I want to pass in my bed.

I also have a friend I told as I wanted her to be my POA for health. And she is the only person I trust in the city I am in to give some items back to my ex after I am gone. She agreed and also supports my right to make this decision for myself. She doesn't want me to of course but, will support me either way.

The rest of my family would not be nearly as supportive.

 

[Flora1]

I've shared my plans with someone like minded. We both know how we feel and it is a breath of fresh air to talk to someone openly about this stuff.. no judgement and no sense of wanting to talk each other out of it. It's definitely created a bond between us which I think is pretty rare.

 

[reapandsow918]

I have shared this info with a couple of people. I don't recommend telling others who don't feel the same way you do as well. They wouldn't understand where you are coming from and are most likely to report you to authorities. Then you'll be screwed from having your chances at CTBing.

 

[Final Escape]

Yes

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I have but nothing good or productive comes out of it. Family will never understand. I told my ex and he belittled me saying "suicide is the most cowardly thing one can do".........I seriously don't know why I even bother trying to have a rational discussion with them.

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

Yes, many times. It just gets either laughed off or shrugged off like I'm just talking out of my ass. Even being shrugged off by those that have known about my severe depression (roughly 10yrs ago turned into suicidal thoughts) since I was a child. I had thought they'd be the main ones to notice something wasn't right or anything, but nope. Life has just gone on for them, no one checks on my status, my 'friends' that claim they care so much about me and blah, blah, blah, haven't even bothered to contact me in over a month despite only living 15min away and them being on FB all the damned time.

In my opinion, either people don't want to face it, are too stupid to see what's right in front of them or just plain don't care until it's too late. Guess I sort of prefer this treatment over the whole guilt tripping into living aspect of thing, where the same people will go over how it's selfish/cowardly, it'll get better, you have so much to live for and all that jazz. Well, hasn't gotten better in a long time and if I had so much to live for, why the hell would I have told them what I truly feel like doing, when the time is right?

Apologies for the ramble, little drunk at the moment after a long day.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

My mom and my best friend. I dont know how either of them feel about it but I told both of them point blank. I will take my life some day. Haven't been sectioned so that's a plus. My best friend knows my unending struggle with depression. Shes been there through all of it

 

[imstillhungry]

Yes, I told my 'friends'. I was told to stop being dramatic, and that there are people with a worse life than mine. Or I wasn't taken seriously at all.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

My family knows. I can't say they didn't try to help, but the therapists weren't exactly great and by then I was 16 and it was already rooted inside of me. Something I've noticed is that over time they became less and less eager in talking me out of it.

 

[angele]

I've made a post on it, I don't recommend it but it worked out fine for me

 

[Kotochan]

I told my online friend. I'm too afraid to tell my therapist :/ I don't want him to call the police.

My friend took it well but I feel really bad for telling him. He messaged me this morning "still alive D:?". I feel better having someone know that I'm gonna leave - but I also feel bad ._.

I wish I didn't have to go alone - I wish I could say goodbye...

 

[angele]

I told my online friend. I'm too afraid to tell my therapist :/ I don't want him to call the police.

My friend took it well but I feel really bad for telling him. He messaged me this morning "still alive D:?". I feel better having someone know that I'm gonna leave - but I also feel bad ._.

I wish I didn't have to go alone - I wish I could say goodbye...

It's a double edged sword, I feel comforted knowing that my suicide won't be (as much) as a surprise to them but I also feel manipulative and guilty for sharing such intimate info.... Maybe I'm being abusive by sharing that, even though I just want to be honest? It's not like I can ask a therapist...

 

[Kotochan]

It's a double edged sword, I feel comforted knowing that my suicide won't be (as much) as a surprise to them but I also feel manipulative and guilty for sharing such intimate info.... Maybe I'm being abusive by sharing that, even though I just want to be honest? It's not like I can ask a therapist...

This exactly. I have no idea. Maybe it's selfish. It probably depends on whether or not we're doing this to ourselves or if something else is happening to us. Idk your story - but for me i'm talking about my depression.

If my depression is just me being a selfish loser and not actually biological then ya I'm being selfish :/ There's no real way to know

It's a double edged sword, I feel comforted knowing that my suicide won't be (as much) as a surprise to them but I also feel manipulative and guilty for sharing such intimate info.... Maybe I'm being abusive by sharing that, even though I just want to be honest? It's not like I can ask a therapist...

I've definitely had some terrible experiences from telling people. I used to trust "professionals" when they told me I could tell them. I think if anyone does decide to tell anyone you need to be really selective and careful about how you do it. Don't tell people that are important to you because it can really hurt your relationships and it can even come back and hurt you. Also, whoever you tell, don't bring it up too much. Pretty much no one can handle hearing about suicide every day...

 

[angele]

This exactly. I have no idea. Maybe it's selfish. It probably depends on whether or not we're doing this to ourselves or if something else is happening to us. Idk your story - but for me i'm talking about my depression.

If my depression is just me being a selfish loser and not actually biological then ya I'm being selfish :/ There's no real way to know

I think you should be easier on yourself, no one that's pushed to these extremes should be considered selfish... As I've seen someone else here post before, ctb is a form of self love for myself. Like giving yourself the dignity of eternal peace after a lifetime struggle. And as another user has said, people are more willing to put a suffering animal out of its misery than they are for a human. We have less rights than animals as suicidal folk. So our choice in ending it all is the ultimate act of respect for our humanity...

You're not selfish for that, no matter your circumstances.

We aren't being purposefully manipulative, so that's gotta count for something. But then, we have to ask ourselves if intentions are more important than the outcome. Do the ends justify the means? I don't know. I guess we'll never know...

Thank you for the thought provoking words, haha

 

[Kotochan]

I think you should be easier on yourself, no one that's pushed to these extremes should be considered selfish... As I've seen someone else here post before, ctb is a form of self love for myself. Like giving yourself the dignity of eternal peace after a lifetime struggle. And as another user has said, people are more willing to put a suffering animal out of its misery than they are for a human. We have less rights than animals as suicidal folk. So our choice in ending it all is the ultimate act of respect for our humanity...

You're not selfish for that, no matter your circumstances.

We aren't being purposefully manipulative, so that's gotta count for something. But then, we have to ask ourselves if intentions are more important than the outcome. Do the ends justify the means? I don't know. I guess we'll never know...

Thank you for the thought provoking words, haha

That all definitely makes sense - especially for other people. There's something weird that happens with me where I feel like a murderer, like a monster or something. Like my mind just sort of amalgamates all my feelings into one "mega" feeling. So it's pretty hard to get past that considering I tend to feel that whether or not I voice it haha.

But that definitely makes sense :/

 

[SheJumped]

I told two people that in the event they get a black card in the mail, it's due to my death.
Both concerned but understand I battle depression. One of the two moves a lot and updates me with a new address every so often.