Anyone else discover their SI at a young age?

[AmanSilvers]

I first tried to ctb when I was 12, after years already of thinking about it. The method I chose, cutting in a bath, was never going to work. It became incredibly clear to me when I couldn't make myself force the blade into my skin hard enough to do much damage. It was a feeling I had no concept of at the time. I ended up just sitting in my pink bath for a while before getting out and bandaging myself up. I went to school the next day.

I think if I hadn't made that first pathetic attempt, then I wouldn't still be here. That feeling found its way into my conscious mind, and every time I seriously consider ctb, it shows its face. If I had waited a few years I would have gotten my hands on a gun and that would have been the end of it. But instead I got too scared.

I'm curious if anyone had a similar experience.

 

[buriedinmyhead]

Yeah, I first started wanting to die at eleven. I already knew back then that I'd never feel satisfied in this life. Me being a dumb kid, thought that taking enough multivitamins would kill me (I took like five then chickened out)

 

[leoneliona]

Yeah, I discovered mine around 11. I thought it was normal to feel that way passively though.