Anyone else deal with controlling parents?

[Brayu]

It's embarrassing... but I direct my question mainly to young adults (18-25/30 years old)

I'm 23 years old, I live with my parents (In my country, children who live with their parents are even older...). It's not that I'm comfortable with it, but I don't have financial independence. I'm an economic loser (in my country), so economic success is almost the only variable for social success in this sea of hypocrisy.

Turns out my mom (my dad died of cancer when I was 16) is very controlling, after surviving the covid she said she would change but that won't happen. She thinks it has to be in everything I am, she doesn't really consider me an individual. She forced me to break up with my ex girlfriend there in late 2018 (and she ended up dying in 2021). Imagine how poop I feel.

I know perfectly well that I need to get out of here, but it's not as easy as snapping my fingers. It seems like my hell only grows... You might think this is my fault, but what if it is? If I can't change that (and I've tried for a long time) it could even be the Pope's fault, it won't change the fact that I suffer.

The only thing I've been begging lately is for this to end.

People who come from abroad think I'm a bum, that I don't work (the people who live with me don't really know me). I'm not and I won't be understood, and it's not because I don't have my reasons (because I do). It's because I'm in the minority here and no matter what I do it's not going to change that.

There are people who blame me even for the death of my grandmother and some friends... It's not an exaggeration, many of them think I was negligent and could have saved people I didn't save. Faced with this, I can expect anything less understanding from someone.

It's embarrassing... but I direct my question mainly to young adults (18-25/30 years old)

I'm 23 years old, I live with my parents (In my country, children who live with their parents are even older...). It's not that I'm comfortable with it, but I don't have financial independence. I'm an economic loser (in my country), so economic success is almost the only variable for social success in this sea of hypocrisy.

Turns out my mom (my dad died of cancer when I was 16) is very controlling, after surviving the covid she said she would change but that won't happen. She thinks it has to be in everything I am, she doesn't really consider me an individual. She forced me to break up with my ex girlfriend there in late 2018 (and she ended up dying in 2021). Imagine how poop I feel.

I know perfectly well that I need to get out of here, but it's not as easy as snapping my fingers. It seems like my hell only grows... You might think this is my fault, but what if it is? If I can't change that (and I've tried for a long time) it could even be the Pope's fault, it won't change the fact that I suffer.

The only thing I've been begging lately is for this to end.

People who come from abroad think I'm a bum, that I don't work (the people who live with me don't really know me). I'm not and I won't be understood, and it's not because I don't have my reasons (because I do). It's because I'm in the minority here and no matter what I do it's not going to change that.

There are people who blame me even for the death of my grandmother and some friends... It's not an exaggeration, many of them think I was negligent and could have saved people I didn't save. Faced with this, I can expect anything less understanding from someone.

It's impossible to help me

 

[rest2love]

Yeah, I am thinking that I want to go to university and ctb. Or ctb before

 

[Manaaja]

I know what you mean. Controlling parents are the worst. I'm sorry you have had to deal with them and I'm sorry people are blaming you for the deaths of others. It's awful how everyone around you seems to be a crappy person. I hope you can find a new person to date, and be able to escape the situation. Or if you choose to ctb, I hope you can find peace either way. Just know that it's not your fault that your life is bad currently.

I have said it so many times and I will continue to say it until I am in a good world. Either money shouldn't exist, or everyone should get the same amount of money monthly no matter what they do or don't. Expecting every single person to be able to work 8/5 is just evil and wrong.

There are places for people raised by narcissistic if you want to be around people who suffer from bad parents. (googling can help).

 

[stellabelle]

It's embarrassing... but I direct my question mainly to young adults (18-25/30 years old)

I'm 23 years old, I live with my parents (In my country, children who live with their parents are even older...). It's not that I'm comfortable with it, but I don't have financial independence. I'm an economic loser (in my country), so economic success is almost the only variable for social success in this sea of hypocrisy.

Turns out my mom (my dad died of cancer when I was 16) is very controlling, after surviving the covid she said she would change but that won't happen. She thinks it has to be in everything I am, she doesn't really consider me an individual. She forced me to break up with my ex girlfriend there in late 2018 (and she ended up dying in 2021). Imagine how poop I feel.

I know perfectly well that I need to get out of here, but it's not as easy as snapping my fingers. It seems like my hell only grows... You might think this is my fault, but what if it is? If I can't change that (and I've tried for a long time) it could even be the Pope's fault, it won't change the fact that I suffer.

The only thing I've been begging lately is for this to end.

People who come from abroad think I'm a bum, that I don't work (the people who live with me don't really know me). I'm not and I won't be understood, and it's not because I don't have my reasons (because I do). It's because I'm in the minority here and no matter what I do it's not going to change that.

There are people who blame me even for the death of my grandmother and some friends... It's not an exaggeration, many of them think I was negligent and could have saved people I didn't save. Faced with this, I can expect anything less understanding from someone.

It's impossible to help me

Ahh, control freaks, snoops, shit disturbers, bridge burners, they stop at nothing. Shameful isn't it?
I wish you could escape the grasp of a terrible mother.
I od'd because of mine and her little fuckin game. They all kept playing it and fucking with me.
Life isn't worth a fuckin damn anymore, never will be

 

[Deleted member 32964]

It's embarrassing... but I direct my question mainly to young adults (18-25/30 years old)

I'm 23 years old, I live with my parents (In my country, children who live with their parents are even older...). It's not that I'm comfortable with it, but I don't have financial independence. I'm an economic loser (in my country), so economic success is almost the only variable for social success in this sea of hypocrisy.

Turns out my mom (my dad died of cancer when I was 16) is very controlling, after surviving the covid she said she would change but that won't happen. She thinks it has to be in everything I am, she doesn't really consider me an individual. She forced me to break up with my ex girlfriend there in late 2018 (and she ended up dying in 2021). Imagine how poop I feel.

I know perfectly well that I need to get out of here, but it's not as easy as snapping my fingers. It seems like my hell only grows... You might think this is my fault, but what if it is? If I can't change that (and I've tried for a long time) it could even be the Pope's fault, it won't change the fact that I suffer.

The only thing I've been begging lately is for this to end.

People who come from abroad think I'm a bum, that I don't work (the people who live with me don't really know me). I'm not and I won't be understood, and it's not because I don't have my reasons (because I do). It's because I'm in the minority here and no matter what I do it's not going to change that.

There are people who blame me even for the death of my grandmother and some friends... It's not an exaggeration, many of them think I was negligent and could have saved people I didn't save. Faced with this, I can expect anything less understanding from someone.

It's impossible to help me

I hope that you can either obtain financial independence and be an adult or be preared to deal with her. If you are under her roof, she'll remember that it's hers. My advice would be to buckle down, hopefully find yourself out of that bummy sitution you are in, see yourself as better than that and hopefully escape a home that is probably like being in a prison. I have been a literal BUM and have had to live off of the kindness of a screwed up shelter system and can say, honestly that I was treated better in that chaotic, dirty, disgusting mess by the easygoing staff that kept a hands-off, no-meddle, non-interventional style in how they conducted their business than by my own family. I wish I would have escaped my family years and years before and found a suitable shelter. It's a recommendation - most will not LISTEN to that but it's always an option. There are youth programs (her in the US, anyway). They assist you with subsidized housing, opportunity to get into educational situations based on your poverty - there's no shame in it. Depending on where you live and your kind of community, you may find those resoureces helpful. Hope you back out and get some space to yourself before you're an old bum at home dining with mom and incapable of detaching for whatever guilt or lack of responsible adult qualities you were unable to learn due to your CONTROLLING MOTHER. :) Take care