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cowplantabduction

cowplantabduction

Beam me up, Scotty
Jul 21, 2025
37
The two are deeply intertwined for me- I'm too scared to take my trash out because I don't want people to see me, so I put it off, and then end up even more anxious as the trash in my room piles up and now people will DEFINITELY judge me if they see me making multiple trips to the dumpster....I feel so disgusting. It's ridiculous but I often feel like I'd rather die than leave the house to do something as simple as take the trash out.
 
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MyShadow

MyShadow

Torn between fixing and ending my life
Aug 27, 2025
220
To some degree, yes
 
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K

k1m

Member
Feb 6, 2025
32
Omg so much. I always had it to a degree but in the past few months it's been crippling. I even feel shame when the deer and rabbits see me.

I mailed my friend a book today and had to talk to the girl at the post office and i felt so much SHAME doing it. Like oh my GOD i just want to melt and drain into the ground. I'm sorry for wasting your time post office girl.
 
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Xielian

Xielian

Not quite a human, not yet a ghost.
Jul 22, 2024
20
Agoraphobic autistic with ADHD here, and I have had my fair share of messy rooms, so no judgment. Also, I hate being watched; doing things in front of people causes me to panic and mess up. I had a friend who would bully me a lot for practically doing nothing, so I've recently been feeling extra stressed about every little thing I do in front of people. But I promise you you're not disgusting or alone. You're human, and I know a lot of people with mental health struggles and procrastination have things pile up sometimes. If they judge you for struggling, then that's a moral failing on their part. Sometimes we have to put stuff off because we don't have the capacity to do them right now, and that's okay.💙
 
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sanctionedusage

sanctionedusage

New Member
Sep 17, 2025
4
im pretty severely agoraphobic. especially amaxophobia.

it used to be very closely related to health OCD and fears of fainting. now it just feels like a plain fear of loss of control. first started when i had severe anorexia and almost died on public transport from a caffeine OD + water fasting for almost 2 weeks, then had a freshly graduated, inexperienced therapist defile my brain into thinking that had nothing to do with it and it could happen again at any time. i was 17 and my life was never the same again.

i blame anorexic brain decay for initially believing that & getting to this point.
 
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cowplantabduction

cowplantabduction

Beam me up, Scotty
Jul 21, 2025
37
Agoraphobic autistic with ADHD here, and I have had my fair share of messy rooms, so no judgment. Also, I hate being watched; doing things in front of people causes me to panic and mess up. I had a friend who would bully me a lot for practically doing nothing, so I've recently been feeling extra stressed about every little thing I do in front of people. But I promise you you're not disgusting or alone. You're human, and I know a lot of people with mental health struggles and procrastination have things pile up sometimes. If they judge you for struggling, then that's a moral failing on their part. Sometimes we have to put stuff off because we don't have the capacity to do them right now, and that's okay.💙
Thank you for your kind words, I really needed to hear them right now. You're a very sweet person.

(Also, love your username/profile pic. I love Heaven Official's Blessing, I'm reading volume 7 right now)
 
nool

nool

He who has not tasted grapes says sour
Aug 17, 2025
103
I am. I don't have a job and rarely leave the house because I always feel like people are watching me constantly. I've tried to get over it, even getting a few job interviews, but all these rejections have convinced me that everybody can see how weird and offputting I am and it's terrifying.

(Edit to add: ^ Hello fellow Heaven Official's Blessing fans!)
 
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