Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
My goals have been to read certain books, but when I complete them, the books fade from my mind as if i'd never read them at all. Goes for tv shows, etc as well. It only ever feels good in the moment. Then it fades and I'm empty again.
 
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A

AnxietyAttack44

I just wanna go to my husband already.
Jun 5, 2020
1,092
At points like this no goal i had matter at all. But i do have some good memories and i treasure them. They make me less sad
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,649
My goals have been to read certain books, but when I complete them, the books fade from my mind as if i'd never read them at all. Goes for tv shows, etc as well. It only ever feels good in the moment. Then it fades and I'm empty again.
Yeah most other goals are illusions and delusions. Only one goal will matter to me now and that is my suicide. The only other goal is if i could make money somehow but that is just to buy better suicide supplies and equipment.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
Yeah most other goals are illusions and delusions. Only one goal will matter to me now and that is my suicide. The only other goal is if i could make money somehow but that is just to buy better suicide supplies and equipment.
To die is the only thing that actually matters and that goes for the non-suicidal as well. "Life is but a dream" helps me put it all in perspective. Who would think some silly children's song would be so profound?
 
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M

Meowkin

Student
May 6, 2020
183
I don't think all goals are meaningless. For some, I think we learn more about ourselves once we achieve those goals and sometimes when we reach those goals, our understanding of ourselves have changed so those goals no longer fit us.
 
Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
Who would think some silly children's song would be so profound?

Right?? It's so strange that our culture makes sure that song is tattooed on every child's psyche, like a little rescue kit amid all the money and competition and noise.

Gently down the stream
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
Right?? It's so strange that our culture makes sure that song is tattooed on every child's psyche, like a little rescue kit amid all the money and competition and noise.

Gently down the stream
It's meant to lead the enlightened to suicide or to a life that's okay with the experience.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
I don't think all goals are meaningless. For some, I think we learn more about ourselves once we achieve those goals and sometimes when we reach those goals, our understanding of ourselves have changed so those goals no longer fit us.


I had a goal, a goal to purchase something that would help me restart my business, I got it last week, everyone is so happy for me, excited, yet i realise their happiness is only for their gain. I was expecting to feel excitment too, but in fact I feel nothing, to me its £1k Id rather have in the bank,
A goal for me has been materially achieved but emotionally, it means nothing, I feel nothing, I dont regret but im just not interested
So in a way your comment is very true. I once thought this was all I wanted, now I have it, I realise its not
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I once thought this was all I wanted, now I have it, I realise its not

I'm sorry. Isn't that the definition of want, though? It's neverending. It always wants.
 
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EraseRewind

EraseRewind

Circling the drain
May 13, 2020
225
At this point in my life the goals that I have set myself seem all that is left. I want to continue to have a loving relationship and for that I am very grateful, I want to continue to be in recovery from alcohol abuse and I want to continue studying at university. I worked hard in my past and attained some of those trinkets of life but I don't think I set any goals from my childhood, I just drifted into all the things I did. Many years of physical and mental abuse as a child conditioned me to expect nothing, with the exception of earning enough to escape in to drunkenness. My desire to ctb has now become a partial feeling, I know the pain and anger of failure to successfully escape my life.

So for me at this moment I feel that those three seemingly simple goals have become quite important to me, that could change in the future, as I say I can only speak for me and for today.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
I'm sorry. Isn't that the definition of want, though? It's neverending. It always wants.
I try and live by the quote of do I want it or do I need it.
To me a need is important and will be a prioity,
A want is a frivolous spend or moment that may or may not be wasting time or money.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I think I was thinking more of things like "I want to make the world a better place" or "I want to be understood" or "I want order in the universe or at least in my spice cupboard."
 
SpottedPanda

SpottedPanda

I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
Jul 24, 2019
612
It seems to me that goals are investments in life. Many people heading towards death aren't usually preoccupied with achieving much in the way of accomplishments
 
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sadghost

sadghost

S
May 17, 2020
232
Yep, this has contributed to me having no goals/hope. I can CTB and die now or spend my whole life trying to achieve certain goals but no matter what my life ends the same - with death.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
But the goals are something to do en route, right? Might as well have a good trip ...
 
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