Anyone else browse suicide bereavement forums?

[johnny]

Sometimes I go on /r/suicidebereavement or the website "alliance of hope". Interesting to see the other side of people who have lost their loved ones to suicide. Sometimes I feel bad because of how obviously sad most of them are. But sometimes there will be a post saying how it gets easier and they've learned to deal with it and go forward in life.

I just find myself obsessed with reading everything related to suicide now

 

[Xerxes]

I've gone there. They definitely try to reframe a person's mind after trauma.

 

[MAIO]

Sometimes I go on /r/suicidebereavement or the website "alliance of hope". Interesting to see the other side of people who have lost their loved ones to suicide. Sometimes I feel bad because of how obviously sad most of them are. But sometimes there will be a post saying how it gets easier and they've learned to deal with it and go forward in life.

I just find myself obsessed with reading everything related to suicide now

The problem I have with suicide brevment etc is evreyone dies. The reason suicide is more painful to those left behind is from those not respecting the individuals choice to end their life. That is to say you think the individuals judgment to end their own life is wrong-their judgment is superior to theirs for the individuals life in this instance. It is not my responsibility to persuade to respect my descion, nor should it be. For example it's not my responsibility to persuade a homophobic parents being gay is okay. Your emotions are your own responsibility no one else is responsible for them. You don't own other people. If your girlfriend breaks up with you do you have a right to torture her? Would we be hearing about you whining that you can't own others people life's without their consent?

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Mental health have been trying to get me to engage in suicide bereavent groups as my partner killed herself in May. I know i wont work because its not so much that shes gone and how thats upset me, ive dealth with that, its the people who have accused me of being the reason she did as we had argued the night before and in jer head she probably thought dying would be better than losing me which she worrued about all the die for no reason. The accusations have destroyed my life so no amount of bereavement counselling is going to fix that

 

[ctbclaire]

Losing someone you love to suicide is 1000x worse than losing someone to a "natural" death. I'm tormented by it but it doesn't stop me wanting to end my own life because it's too bad if I hurt someone I love by choosing to end it. They don't know my pain, my despair, my desperation. It's my life and I won't live to please anyone but myself.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I hate to read it because of the lies. They act all shocked and grieving. They sure as hell didn't act like it when the person was living a sad and pitiful life. Where was all this then?

 

[Metavoid]

I hate to read it because of the lies. They act all shocked and grieving. They sure as hell didn't act like it when the person was living a sad and pitiful life. Where was all this then?

How do you know the grief is an act?

 

[Deleted member 4040]

Always the same NPC reply: "I'm sorry for your loss. May you find peace and healing." lol

 

[longingforrelease]

I just found that bereavement reddit. Couldn't stay there long. Too troubling. I'm sure I'll go back to learn more, but that makes my dilemmas even more fucking complicated.

 

[Bread]

I thought I was the only one who did this! I've gone on several bereavement sites over the years. It interests me to see what's on the other end of a suicide. It is hard to hear how the person's family and friends are suffering but often I believe it was nothing compared to the suffering of the person who committed suicide. For the most part, they will move on.

 

[Jenna]

I read them too. It helped me write my notes and what might be helpful if anything. My family will be devastated but not shocked and I would like to think eventually they would hope I was at peace. We don't choose this. I was also very harmed by big pharma which they know.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

How do you know the grief is an act?

No way to know for sure, but in my mind there is no way anyone can grieve losing me. I have convinced myself that I am extremely hated and reviled, banished to hellish isolation.

People out in the world act nice, but I don't buy it. I don't trust it.

Yeah, I'm screwed in the head. I'll admit it. But still, that doesn't change it. It feels real as can be that the whole world hates my damn guts.

 

[Smilla]

How do you know the grief is an act?

When your supposed "loved ones"
take zero time to actually "love you".

We all know those funerals where 1000 people show up and only 10 of those actually had contact with the deceased.

I have attended several myself.

 

[Smilla]

I just found that bereavement reddit. Couldn't stay there long. Too troubling. I'm sure I'll go back to learn more, but that makes my dilemmas even more fucking complicated.

So so sorry to hear about your complicated dilemmas.

And "too troubling" facts about ctb.

Hugs. LOL

 

[longingforrelease]

la lutta continua....

 

[stargazer]

Sometimes I go on /r/suicidebereavement or the website "alliance of hope". Interesting to see the other side of people who have lost their loved ones to suicide. Sometimes I feel bad because of how obviously sad most of them are. But sometimes there will be a post saying how it gets easier and they've learned to deal with it and go forward in life.

I just find myself obsessed with reading everything related to suicide now

No but I'm quite into reading any news articles online relating to recent suicides, usually I'm fascinated if a note was left, how they went, etc etc etc. I'm that close to death now, I may as well

 

[AnnaJaspers]

It's largely a toxic wastedump, please don't browse there. I've been called a psychopath and worse (is there worse) because I asked about planned/rational suicide once. There is nary a mention of the successful suicide being free from whatever is tormenting them; they all act as if their loved one or friend owed it to them to stay alive which goes against basic human autonomy and human rights.

 

[awfullife]

yah the bereavement must be brutal, and its not fair for the survivors. But, life isn't fair and it's hard to put one foot in front of the other when misery takes hold 24 hours a day. I don't really think it's the right decision. I presume the "right" thing to do is slug away at my miserable awful life with no hope for normalcy and struggle until I die in 40 years. The problem is that I don't know if I really want to do that. Losing everything you love (family, job, kids, house, car) makes you want to catch a bus, not restart from scratch.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Sometimes I go on /r/suicidebereavement or the website "alliance of hope". Interesting to see the other side of people who have lost their loved ones to suicide. Sometimes I feel bad because of how obviously sad most of them are. But sometimes there will be a post saying how it gets easier and they've learned to deal with it and go forward in life.

I just find myself obsessed with reading everything related to suicide now

also obsessed-just in general

 

[Qdv]

also obsessed-just in general

Same here

 

[OreoWellington]

YESSS!!!! This was me for some years (I was still suicidal back then) as a heavy lurker because this was the closest thing I could get to the suicidal while being suicidal myself. This was back when I didn't know sites like SS even existed. I would bond and relate to the dead the family and loved ones would talk about. I felt just like one of them.

 

[BridgeJumper]

How do you know the grief is an act?

Because 99% of the time it IS an act.
I know for sure that there are like 3 people in this entire world who would give a damn about my death.
The rest will be just fake crying for several days and going 'oh no how sad' and then they will pretend I never existed. Its notcynical, its the truth.

 

[Fragile]

The scariest part is reading about family members who still cry 10 years after the suicide of a loved one, it really puts things into perspective and makes me feel very pessimistic about the future of my family after my death.

of course there are others who "get over" the grieff after a couple of years, but it still feels as if they could never be the same person they were before.

at the end of the day, we all will die one way or the other, and i will NOT wait to be 60, completely crippled and riddled with cancer before i can die, i will have some dignity and the pain that my family will have to endure fron my suicide will be far less than the pain that they will have to suffer by seeing me getting consumed by both mental and phisical illnesses for years, at least that's what i like to imagine but i guess i'll never know.

it still sucks that there is no better way.

 

[TAW122]

I don't really frequent it, but I have read some stories on there. Others being sad and then somehow carrying on with their lives seems to be on point with most of the survivors on there. I do not discount nor deny that it isn't hard, but of course one thing that matters at the end is that the person suffering is no longer suffering and when people arrive at that stage, it is generally better for them as they are able to be at peace with the circumstances.

 

[lovemelovemenot]

I've browsed through that subreddit a couple times before. It makes me feel bad for leaving people behind, but I understand most of them are still in the process of recovering and their emotions are high. People move on, talk about how it gets easier like with any other form of death(old age, freak accident). The posts that stuck out to me are the ones that villanize their friend/family/loved one for ctb. Saying things like "how could they do this to me", " ill never forgive them". I don't understand how somone could be that self-centered when a person literatlly took their own life. I'd be willing to bet money these people never listened to any outcries for help or ignored them while they were down. Idk, maybe I'm looking at it from the wrong angle but those type of posts really rubbed me the wrong way.

 

[CozyTime]

Saying things like "how could they do this to me", " ill never forgive them". I don't understand how somone could be that self-centered when a person literatlly took their own life. I'd be willing to bet money these people never listened to any outcries for help or ignored them while they were down. Idk, maybe I'm looking at it from the wrong angle but those type of posts really rubbed me the wrong way.

I can only speak for my own experience on this but the feelings of anger, disappointment, the thoughts of "how" and "why" are real and I've had them countless times even though I understand their decision to end their life, even though I am jealous of them those types of thoughts and feelings come up every now and then.

The subreddit (which I am active on) is a place specifically made for people to vent their thoughts in "safe space". I feel awful, I feel guilty for having those thoughts and I could never express them to another person because just like you wrote it would seem self-centered but in that subreddit no one judges and most people will understand what I feel. That subreddit is for people that have lost people to suicide just like this is a place for people that are suicidal (and others of course but mainly). There really isn't a big difference between that place and this one, just a different sort of safe space for different people, for the most part.

I could never villanize my lost ones for what they did but for most they knew I was already struggling adding yet another thing on top of a plate that is already pretty full. It's not me being angry at them but more reality and life itself, the fact that I have to continue life without them, the fact they have passed but I have stayed. I completely understand why that would rub someone wrong but until you feel the same feelings it can be hard to understand.

 

[deflagrat]

I browse the subreddit sometimes. It definitely changed my mind about some things. You just assume noone will care and while it's true that some won't I have people that would care a great deal if I died.