learning that respect is completely conditional based on factors like how comfortable and convenient you can make other's lives be.
That's incredibly true.
One time years ago I had a panic attack and was crying on floor, and a fucking woman whose job was to help people who suffer like me said "I feel uncomfortable" and left. Imagine a surgeon, who knows a patient has a cancer, seeing cancer during a surgery, screaming "eww, cancer" and running away from the hospital.
Well, I don't care about people's comfort anymore. That makes me appear confident, and somehow my lack of fear makes people comfortable.
That is also why victims are hated. People get uncomfortable and instead of having brains and saying "fuck the abuser", they go "you made me feel uncomfortable when you told me about the abuse, thus you are bad and evil and I don't want to be near you anymore".
Seeing a scared person makes them fear, and so they start fearing the scared person.
Their brains aren't developed enough to imagine the bad guy behind this all.
Remember that most people don't even have imagination or abstract thinking abilities. So when they see a victim they think "well, I'm not seeing any bad guy here currently, so it must be all the victim's fault".
