Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
I won't be there to defend myself. I don't think anyone will defend me. I wish I had someone there to smash his face in after he runs his mouth.
 
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allym101

allym101

Ally
May 29, 2020
277
I won't be there to defend myself. I don't think anyone will defend me. I wish I had someone there to smash his face in after he runs his mouth.
No. I may be incredibly selfish but I honestly don't give a crap about how my death might affect anyone or what people will say when I'm dead. I'll be dead. It's that simple
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
No. I may be incredibly selfish but I honestly don't give a crap about how my death might affect anyone or what people will say when I'm dead. I'll be dead. It's that simple
But I know they'll continue to exist even though I'm dead.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
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undersea_water

undersea_water

Member
Apr 27, 2020
10
i don't even care about their opinion ...i know it will be sad but they don't know my feelings so they can't understand me.
So its ok, they can say wharever they want, ill be dead anyway.
i think they will kill eventually by sadness, we are already dead as a family.
 
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moonchild

moonchild

Student
May 8, 2020
125
Not so much talk shit, but it bothers me that my dad will have such a warped perception of why I did it. Also that he'll make it about himself somehow, and put blame on everyone else, especially my mum. And probably say things about me that aren't true because he doesn't know me. I know it won't matter to me when I'm dead, but I hate that I can't die without at the same time giving him material to use when fishing for sympathy. Like, he'll be the poor father of a dead child, I'm sure he'll love the kind of attention that gives.
 
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K

Kumachan

Specialist
Mar 5, 2020
396
Its like caring and ruminating about some bizarre shit that happened in your dream:))))
 
Cashewmilk

Cashewmilk

Specialist
Mar 10, 2020
352
Yeah who cares just learn to let go. These people are nothing, just like everyone else, just human, same story as everyone else, they were born as babies and raised up from a child to an adult, they are animals just like you and me, all fighting for the same thing - to survive. Don't let some petty animals bother you. We're all insignificant, all of us including them. Think about it, the earth and the universe, we're nothing. They're also nothing. When you die you'll be in your forever sleep, in peace, nothing will matter. You have to think about it from the big picture, billions of years, billions of humans, what does some random drop in the bucket, shit talking ape, matter?
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
I do too, but after death I feel like that's a very futile thing to dwell on considering that you'll be dead:ahhha:
Getting to the death part will be harder with that weakness of mine.
 
J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
You won't be able to defend yourself but you won't be there to suffer any insult either. You can always write a defense of your actions and anticipate what they'll likely to say.

Why would it matter what people think of you in general? Of course in life one has to deal with people so I'm not claiming negative opinions won't affect you but overall opinions are like a-holes: everybody's got one. About everything and they're seldom reasonable and well-informed. Especially when it concerns value-judgements on individuals.
 
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M

MaybeSoon

Experienced
Oct 11, 2019
261
I care what people think about me. I've always had that weakness.

I understand, I'm the same. I guess being in care for so long when I was younger has led me to be needed to be liked by everyone to the point where the slightest criticism shatters my confidence completely. I tread on eggshells all the time just to be liked.
 
A

AcornUnderground

Mage
Feb 28, 2020
505
Yes, my ex always painted an inaccurate picture to our children. I'm crazy, I broke up the family, etc. This will help him immensely to continue that false legacy. It breaks my heart for my kids. But then again, the whole thing does for their sake.
 
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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
Yes, my ex always painted an inaccurate picture to our children. I'm crazy, I broke up the family, etc. This will help him immensely to continue that false legacy. It breaks my heart for my kids. But then again, the whole thing does for their sake.

Write them a letter. Write the truth as you see it so when they get older they'll at least have a more accurate picture of who you were. Of course I'm not telling you to do anything let alone CTB. In fact I think you should fight for your children if you still can.

Good luck either way.
 
M

Meowkin

Student
May 6, 2020
183
I won't be there to defend myself. I don't think anyone will defend me. I wish I had someone there to smash his face in after he runs his mouth.
My sentiments exactly. The thought of it does get me mad. Punch the wall and maybe then too kind of mad.
 
A

AcornUnderground

Mage
Feb 28, 2020
505
Write them a letter. Write the truth as you see it so when they get older they'll at least have a more accurate picture of who you were. Of course I'm not telling you to do anything let alone CTB. In fact I think you should fight for your children if you still can.

Good luck either way.

Write them a letter. Write the truth as you see it so when they get older they'll at least have a more accurate picture of who you were. Of course I'm not telling you to do anything let alone CTB. In fact I think you should fight for your children if you still can.

Good luck either way.
Thank you. There are lots of letters and videos. I fought my hardest to stay. It's the most heartbreaking situation. My disease is very severe. I have no financial means to even support myself. I can't watch after my children. I'm doing everything I can to hide the fact that this was a suicide, to soften the blow that - no matter what - will absolutely devastate them completely. It's a literal nightmare.
 
J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
I fought my hardest to stay. It's the most heartbreaking situation. My disease is very severe. I have no financial means to even support myself. I can't watch after my children. I'm doing everything I can to hide the fact that this was a suicide, to soften the blow that - no matter what - will absolutely devastate them completely. It's a literal nightmare.

I'm sorry to hear that.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
Not read all the replies, but you cannot control what people say and think of you, whether you are dead or alive, you can try and change their perception, but at the end of the day, we cannot stop them.
When we are dead, thing's will be said, good, bad, indifferent, thing's will be thought, assumptions made. Whilst we are alive the thoughts of these things can play on our minds, but what is the point, it changes nothing. Try to not let it getto you, if you are that worried leave notes, talk to them.
Otherwise, once you are in your eternal sleep it won't even be a concern any more
 
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sadbadpsychogirl

sadbadpsychogirl

sonofabitch
May 29, 2020
725
i know there will be a few who will talk shit. just as they do with me being alive. i won't be here so i don't care.
 
I

I screwed up

Waiting for the damn bus
Sep 11, 2019
883
i know there will be a few who will talk shit. just as they do with me being alive. i won't be here so i don't care.
Exactly my views ... Besides u can't control people who enjoy bad mouthing u irrespective what the truth is .
 
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H

Hel

Member
Mar 30, 2019
94
It will happen and since I don't plan to leave a note... But my intention is (or was, I'm too desperate now) making it up as accidental (or even "natural causes" but that's even more difficult). Also, as I say, right now, I don't even care.
 
LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
Yea, probably all of them. And whatever stranger they consult too.
In one way or another, everything they say will be a lie, and everyone else will just be rubbing their shoulders as they're saying it.
I wish I could just disappear completely and that they would not even be able to speak my name when I am gone.
 
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Libracusp_1022

Libracusp_1022

Member
Jul 29, 2019
46
Lol. Yes, I have relatives I can absolutely count on to do that!! It used to bother me. But it doesn't anymore. I'll be gone. No one remembers anything about anyone for more than a few minutes anyway.
 
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ARW3N

ARW3N

Melancholia
Dec 25, 2019
405
I couldn't care less who talks about me after I'm gone. The worst aspect about life is how we need others to validate who or what we are. We have to pretend to be something we're not all the time. We end up living a lie.
 
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nerve

nerve

fat cringey shut-in
Jun 19, 2019
1,013
I am honestly so excited to be the dead relative everybody talks about in hushed and uncomfortable tones.
 
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Aeathelina

Aeathelina

Little Homeless Girl
Feb 5, 2020
308
Not really.I'm actually expecting it after they read my notes.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
Yeah who cares just learn to let go. These people are nothing, just like everyone else, just human, same story as everyone else, they were born as babies and raised up from a child to an adult, they are animals just like you and me, all fighting for the same thing - to survive. Don't let some petty animals bother you. We're all insignificant, all of us including them. Think about it, the earth and the universe, we're nothing. They're also nothing. When you die you'll be in your forever sleep, in peace, nothing will matter. You have to think about it from the big picture, billions of years, billions of humans, what does some random drop in the bucket, shit talking ape, matter?
I love it
I am honestly so excited to be the dead relative everybody talks about in hushed and uncomfortable tones.
The guy who will talk shit about me had an older relative who killed herself years ago. Whenever someone in their family mentions her, it becomes super awkward. The patriarch of that family never spoke her name again.
Not really.I'm actually expecting it after they read my notes.
What will you write?
 
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SpottedPanda

SpottedPanda

I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
Jul 24, 2019
612
To present an extreme, a nuke could go off, and I could get blamed for it, after I'm dead, and vilified for a thousand years, and I still don't think it'd bother me. The great thing about death is the freedom aspect of it. You're free from the perils of a bad reputation, immune to criticism, and not susceptible to emotional pain. If I don't directly experience it, it doesn't happen, from my perspective. My only wish is that my death doesn't hurt those closest to me, the ones I truly care about and respect, and who also respect me. Other than that, the world will chug on, in all it's petty, flawed glory
 
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Smashingairwaves

Smashingairwaves

misery factory
Nov 15, 2018
193
There will be a lot of shit talking, but it won't effect me because I won't be there for it. It sucks, but what can you do?
 
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