Anyone else always push their date due to laziness?

[Exhausted546]

My serious attempts happened when all the conditions were right, no headache,not tired, fed,home alone for long enough,was in the right state of mind to go peacefully. They failed cause partial hanging is a bitch.

However I've been pushing the date for a couple days now. Sometimes when I'm home alone it just feels too sudden and idk if I'm alone for a few minutes or a couple hours. Yesterday I was alone most of the day,I had an unbearable headache so I slept instead. This morning I was alone but I felt too exhausted still.

Now I'm well rested ,fed ,in the right state of mind but I'm not alone. I might be in 2 hours though.

Some people take their life regardless of whether all the conditions are right, I truly respect that. I'm making it alot more complicated than it's supposed to be.

Anyway Monday is a hard deadline so it'll happen sooner or later

 

[xeno112007]

Actually same but I am scared like about pain and stuff.

 

[shcizoseraphima]

yeah very relatable, im too exhausted to die but also too exhausted to live :,)

 

[Exhausted546]

Actually same but I am scared like about pain and stuff.

Gonna lube up the rope hopefully it prevents rope burn. I'm gonna give another attempt in an hour of I'm alone. The conditions are right

 

[UninformedLover]

Literally how I lived to be in my twenties instead of dying before I turned 18

 

[xeno112007]

Gonna lube up the rope hopefully it prevents rope burn. I'm gonna give another attempt in an hour of I'm alone. The conditions are right

I hope you find peace. If you change your mind its ok. Be gentle on yourself you went through too much.I was planned on using wrist cut but by some research I found that it was ineffective. So I am going to do other bleeding methods.

Gonna lube up the rope hopefully it prevents rope burn. I'm gonna give another attempt in an hour of I'm alone. The conditions are right

Actually I am also going to do hanging bleeding to death is really tough

 

[Exhausted546]

Gonna lube up the rope hopefully it prevents rope burn. I'm gonna give another attempt in an hour of I'm alone. The conditions are right

And bam I'm not even home alone yet but all of sudden I don't feel like it. At this point i think I should push myself to do it regardless,things will only get worse from here on.

TBF thinking about my toxic family that essentially caused me to be in this state in the first place always does the trick in having me angry and suicidal,that may just do the trick

I hope you find peace. If you change your mind its ok. Be gentle on yourself you went through too much.I was planned on using wrist cut but by some research I found that it was ineffective. So I am going to do other bleeding methods.

Actually I am also going to do hanging bleeding to death is really tough

Bleeding to death seems insane unless you have a gunshot wound or get stabbed

 

[fkyou]

Same..I find myself lazy to rope no motivation to do it whatsoever

 

[Exhausted546]

So I found myself alone, my heart started racing wondering if I was really going to do it. Decided that I could at the very least test things again. Cut the rope up to an appropriate length, tested the set up (it's hard to do without hurting yourself tho). Using an arm or a hand didn't feel conclusive enough, I put the noose around my neck and almost slipped from the chair.

That would have been the end of me, there was nothing to support my weight.

Digged up my ex's phone to send her a final message apologizing and thanking her. Then I decided against doing it, even from a burner,she would probably guess it's me, and contact the police immediately. She's a psychiatrist, they know not to mess around,so unless I was certain it wouldn't be traced back to me, it was wiser to wait until my real final moment to send her anything,otherwise I'd be institutionalised before I could die.

I believe I'll put me neck in that noose tomorrow morning and end it for good then. Full suspension hanging is scary because of how final it is. I hope it'll be quick

 

[Forveleth]

For me, it is not "laziness", it is the exhaustion that comes with depression. Kind of hard to kill myself when I can barely get out of bed. I will be doing some sort of hanging, so of course there is the rope to faff with and emails to schedule and all that. The prep takes more energy than I usually have.

 

[liza]

Yes I never have energy and I'm always scared for some reason

 

[Exhausted546]

For me, it is not "laziness", it is the exhaustion that comes with depression. Kind of hard to kill myself when I can barely get out of bed. I will be doing some sort of hanging, so of course there is the rope to faff with and emails to schedule and all that. The prep takes more energy than I usually have.

Oh the prep is such a pain in the ass. That's why partial hanging was my only choice. Full suspension hanging required too much energy to me. The idea of having to go to the freezing garage to try the ceiling hook thing exhausted me

THen I found a quick and simple way to do full suspension hanging using my door alone, tested it out. Now I'm ready to go

 

[Forveleth]

Oh the prep is such a pain in the ass. That's why partial hanging was my only choice. Full suspension hanging required too much energy to me.

My full and partial anchor is the same place, so it is the same amount of preparation for me no matter what.

 

[Exhausted546]

My full and partial anchor is the same place, so it is the same amount of preparation for me no matter what.

Which one scares you the most?

 

[Forveleth]

Which one scares you the most?

Neither scares me. I tried partial because I did not want to try balancing on a stool, however, my body saved itself while I was unconscious. I will probably go with full suspension the next time just to get the job done.

 

[Exhausted546]

Neither scares me. I tried partial because I did not want to try balancing on a stool, however, my body saved itself while I was unconscious. I will probably go with full suspension the next time just to get the job done.

It's insane that some people go unconscious and wake up, that's crazy to me