Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,182
I am 24 years old and still live at home. I have been job hunting and all I have so far is my BA in Psychology.
I think about how heavily controlled and abused I was. I was treated like a doll, unable to take care of myself. My mother was extremely narcissistic and controlling. I had no identity and abuse was daily and constant. A battle zone that left me extremely suicidal since I was 12. As I got older it never got better. I was hospitalized at 18, and even after I felt very much like a child
I didn't know who I was becuase I wasn't raised in a healthy way. I had to survive and appease the desires of my mom rather than grow in a loving environment. Now with her dead and me being older, I feel like a failure. My friends older and younger have either moved out or are living on their own. Meanwhile I am still here, job hunting and hoping for something so I can start saving. My dad is getting old and I always feel like time is running out.
I often feel if I was raised with freedom and love I'd be farther ahead. I'm so ashamed of myself. I should be more aheadā€¦.
I think about how heavily controlled and abused I was. I was treated like a doll, unable to take care of myself. My mother was extremely narcissistic and controlling. I had no identity and abuse was daily and constant. A battle zone that left me extremely suicidal since I was 12. As I got older it never got better. I was hospitalized at 18, and even after I felt very much like a child
I didn't know who I was becuase I wasn't raised in a healthy way. I had to survive and appease the desires of my mom rather than grow in a loving environment. Now with her dead and me being older, I feel like a failure. My friends older and younger have either moved out or are living on their own. Meanwhile I am still here, job hunting and hoping for something so I can start saving. My dad is getting old and I always feel like time is running out.
I often feel if I was raised with freedom and love I'd be farther ahead. I'm so ashamed of myself. I should be more aheadā€¦.