Anybody here have ADHD or is neurodivergent?

[funguy]

And if so, is it a part of the reason why you're suicidal? I have ADHD and I feel so inferior to everyone else because of it.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Yeah, I have aspergers. I have always felt as though the so - called " normal " people view me as some kind of alien.
I used to feel inferior to others, yet nowadays just view them as a different species.

 

[Mistiie]

I'm definitely some type of neurodivergent. OCD is guaranteed but whether there's also ASD or ADHD or whatever else, I don't know nor ever will because my case is so far from textbook of any of them that I don't actually think what I experience/have experienced can be summarised by any existing disorder, or even just combinations of them. I have social issues and behaviours in my early childhood reminiscent of ASD but I don't have them anymore, or at least not to the same extent that others have/had, ADHD behaviours such as very little attention paid and general inattentiveness towards everything, and some various other miscellaneous personality disorder behaviours; overall, it means that what I have, I'll never fully understand. Hell, it might not even be classified yet. All I know is that I'm not like most people, be that on the neurodivergent or neurotypical side.

It's definitely a reason why I am though. Not because of the side effects of having those disorder(s) (possibly) but just the idea that it's a permanent fixture of who I am, that I can't change or overcome it in any meaningful way ever in my life. That's what makes me feel suicidal.

 

[_Broken_alice]

AuD-HD here (Diagnosed on both). Also EUPD (not diagnosed but family history specifically in women..)
It definitely contributes very heavily. Nothing has ever really given joy or pleasure in life. At the very best, we have only ever been "content". We live in a world that is impossible to navigate. Socializing is so draining. Not being able to read or even understand allistic people has made relationships very difficult to maintain and deprived us of many opportunities.
We have found we are very easily taken advantage of due to a combination of wanting to please people, and an inability to notice and comprehend that we are being taken advantage of before it is way too late. Everyone looks at us like something is wrong with us because we get along so poorly with most people beyond very brief encounters we can fake it through at great cost. And if anything goes wrong, or we feel abandoned by someone we care about, it goes very bad, scary fast.
We think that had we been born allistic, life would have turned out very differently, and we would not be at this point.

 

[ren_b]

And if so, is it a part of the reason why you're suicidal? I have ADHD and I feel so inferior to everyone else because of it.

I have adhd and a few other probs and they all just fuel each other like hell
So keeping up with people, or being even average is just hellish, i feel out of place

 

[KafkaF]

I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person).

Beyond that I have social anxiety, failure anxiety, body dysmorphic disorder and just general issues with my self-esteem.

 

[gbi2]

Awaiting autism assessment, possibly also have ADHD. Therapist last year said I was suffering autistic burnout which has caused the suicide attempt. When I looked it up I saw it different to normal burnout in that autistic people can lose the one thing they relied on to mask the autism to be accepted. A lady once lost the ability to speak despite learning to be well spoken to mask her autism.
Last year I had problems with speech. I was stuttering and at times my brain just stopped telling my mouth to move. I think I experienced what non verbals do and it was so frustrating.
But whatever my problems are it has come about through poor treatment from others. When I tell people such as therapists what I've been through, time and time again they agree I have always done everything I could and it was others who caused it.
Even yesterday I found out I was lied to by my social housing landlord earlier this year, which influenced my decision to not sell the house. If I had sold it I wouldn't be struggling right now.
So it's not me being autistic that is the direct reason, but it might be the reason I can't process so much going wrong all in one year.

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

I have autism and it's essentially why I'm here.

 

[sancsuinet]

yeah, I think its really changed how I related to other people. I also struggle to relate to other people and understand their responses. always felt off. I think its made me feel really alone in life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have autism and overall I'm just not meant for existing which is a reason as to why I wish to eternally cease existing as well as just hating existence in general.
More than anything I wish I wasn't so harmfully brought into existence in the first place, all that existing is, is just undesirable suffering that there was never a need for.
It's cruel and horrible how in this anti-suicide society people are expected to continue suffering no matter what despite this reality.

 

[tiger b]

Noone can tell me for sure if I'm neurodivergent.

When I looked into it, I was fobbed off and dismissed. It was actually quite a funny experience with an 'expert" who pretty much admitted he had no experience in the area, so he tried to completely misdiagnose me. Errr, no mate. So I'm not going there again.

I've spoke and worked with many on the spectrum, it's given me an idea that I'm definitely not entirely 'normal' but how much of that is to do with background or how much is actually not, it's very hard to figure out. And is it really necessary for me? I'm not going to get help, I need to work when I can, and the help seems shitty anyway.

I'm seeing more ADHD elements as I get older, especially since COVID time and I was very ill with it, but I really think it's useless labelling myself now. The best I can do is that I am me, and at times it's lonely, and I'm shocked to pieces when people take a second to try and understand me or see me for me because I've spent my whole life trying to understand others and it's really a fucking exhausting one way street, barring a few exceptions. Grrrrr.

But I'm happy I'm not 'normal' - whatever that really means. Maybe I've just got too low a tolerance of bullshit.

 

[todeswunsch]

I'm Late DX Autistic / Asperger. I also have some ADHD traits but not full diagnosis. My mother is ADHD and my father is a obvious yet undiagnosed Autistic too. Not having the proper support for most of my life on top of the already existing problems of being neurodivergent is probably the core of my situation.
My social problems, which relates to ASD, that leads me to loneliness is one of the main reasons I'm here.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Me too, ADD diagnosis at 25, autism is not yet diagnosed but I think I'm autistic. It's hard to live normally with these conditions. I'm going to be homeless in the near future and I'm not sure I'm up to it at age 46. But I'm not interested in participating anymore, paying bills and trying to afford living costs. So I either have to embrace permanent homeless life till death or end my life prematurely.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I have Borderline PD and, by what I've discussed with my therapist lately, possibly chronic depression. I had severe depression when I was a young teen. All of this diagnosed by my psychologist who I've been seeing for 16 years now.
It is the reason why I want to ctb, I feel like I can never be happy.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I was an easy diagnosis for both autism and combination ADHD (diagnosed twice), I also have a bit of pure O (the obsession part of OCD without the action based compulsions). Above all else for me the two biggest problems were intrusive thoughts and impulsive behaviour which have both veryuch lead me to need to CTB as it has worsened the autism and ADHD symptoms because of things I did.

I too have just about every ____D in the book. AUDHD, OCD, PTSD, BPD. And yes, I belive it is the driving force behind my CTB.

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aba1551

Suicide - Autism | Autistica | Autistica

Suicide is more common in autistic people than in the general population. Find out more about how are working to change this.

www.autistica.org.uk

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5479089/

 

[tinyghost]

im autistic. it definitely gets in the way of my quality of life. i dont have friends, cant answer phone calls, can't physically touch anyone, even my husband most of the time. im selectively mute with sensory problems so a lot of basic tasks become very difficult. masking is a full time job.

 

[hi-okbye]

i've always had diagnosis thrown all over the place. i'm not exactly sure what i have, but i know i have something and i know it effects the quality of my living. making friends, talking to people, even talking, thinking, remembering simple daily tasks, etc. just basically everything that's needed to properly function in society, i've had trouble with since the beginning. it's not my number one reason but i'll be happy to hopefully leave these problems behind.

 

[pawlessz]

And if so, is it a part of the reason why you're suicidal? I have ADHD and I feel so inferior to everyone else because of it.

im autistic and it ruins everything

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm autistic and it's a reason why I'm suicidal but not my main reason. If I wasn't autistic, I'd still wish to ctb as I'd still be suffering and I'd rather escape this suffering

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I'm currently pursing an official diagnosis for autism, my screening results came back as "highly likely + highly likely to have anxiety, + potentially also ADHD and depression" but I haven't received the full diagnosis yet.
A lot of the reasons I've been suicidal since I was very young include: hypersensitivity (to stimuli and emotions, people say I'm "too sensitive"), social difficulties and feeling innately "different" from others, problems with executive dysfunction and emotional regulation, extreme anxiety in unfamiliar situations, and other things too but those are the main ones.

Coincidentally, those are almost all symptoms of autism (or ADHD). So, given the facts, I'm probably suicidal at least mostly because of autism and other yet to be identified disabilities. I pursued a diagnosis to help identify and overcome these problems, even if I can't "cure" autism I might be able to learn more about myself. If I decide to go through and CtB, I want to make an informed choice.

 

[dovistico]

I have ADHD and of course this is a major factor why I am here.

 

[jajajamielee]

And if so, is it a part of the reason why you're suicidal? I have ADHD and I feel so inferior to everyone else because of it.

I have ADHD but unfortunately I have an enormous helping of the attention defecit.

 

[_Broken_alice]

im autistic. it definitely gets in the way of my quality of life. i dont have friends, cant answer phone calls, can't physically touch anyone, even my husband most of the time. im selectively mute with sensory problems so a lot of basic tasks become very difficult. masking is a full time job.

We forgot about some of those.. We too go non-verbal, especially when stressed emotionally. And the sensory problems never end. Phone calls are hell, especially received ones. We get really bad anxiety attacks just paying our internet bill, and we know that is an automated system. It's all so draining we never have energy left for anything else.

 

[damnatio memoriae]

I have ADHD. Main reason I'm going to CTB.

 

[ohyouknow]

I'm autistic. That is not why I want to ctb. I do not see neurodivergence as a disorder. I do see that society is not set up in a way that works well for a lot of neurodivergent people. Society is a shitshow. Whatever.

I want to ctb because life feels meaningless to me, and I feel disconnected from everyone and everything.

 

[sobasoup]

I have ADHD and constant brain fog. I cannot perform basic tasks, let alone work

 

[Bloodhoof]

I have ADHD… Went undiagnosed most of my life, one of the reasons I'm suicidal.