This is something I really struggle with. I have never successfully created a schedule that is layed out like how people use google calendar or planners. I would go out and buy a planner and I made it like a day or two maybe lol! I even get anxiety about planning or setting dates farther out. I can't even set a ctb date. It's embarrasing. It's as though this part of my brain failed to develop. Yea I can make a to do list for the day but I get overwhelmed thinking about like a month or two ahead.
stellabelle
ethereal
- Dec 14, 2018
- 3,919
I used planners and was quite organized in college. It never posed an issue to me. Nowadays though I can't plan for anything and put everything off until the last minute. Hell, I can't even plan my next shower or when I'll fold my laundry. This haze of depression has clouded my mind so thickly that I can barely function on an hourly basis.
Redt2go
flower child
- Jan 5, 2019
- 1,643
Yes! But only since deciding that I want to die lol. I used to be an amazing planner. At this point it's not even depression I just don't see the point in anything
Yea depression will really make it hard to plan. I never could and i would always miss important events with friends. They would be able to make long drawn out plans and then ask if I was going and I would pretty much never be prepared, well almost. So I would often miss out because I would forget to write things down or just I don't know. I remember one time my mother was going back to Hungary with my little bro, but because I was unable to plan and have the money saved up by then they went without me. Wait, my mom had asked to pay for my trip with them but then took it back just before they were going to leave. My mom is a narcissist so she hides things, manipulates, and you don't know what her motives are because what she says isn't what she means. You have to take what she says and figure out why she said that because it won't be what the true motivation is. Anyway this wasn't about my mom. I often got left out of things because I just couldn't seem to keep things in my mind as good.
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That sucks :( I switch back and forth from wanting to live and then giving up. The only insight I've gained from this situation is that I'm not quite ready to go but if something like a major crisis happened then I possibly might be pushed and do it.
Aesthler
Death is the only God who comes when you call
- Sep 25, 2018
- 416
I can hardly plan a day out anymore. My sleep isn't so great anymore and I can start the beginning of the day feeling manic, euphoric and by the end of the day I'll be crying and unable to really function. Sometimes I can hardly use my laptop other than SS and youtube let alone apps that help guide me.
StarDust
Mage
- Aug 21, 2018
- 508
I am a very organised person. Everything in it's place and a place for everything. I stay on top of things as best as I can, however, with that said there have been times when I couldn't be arsed about anything. Putting things off etc. I have since decided that rolling into a bill pay was a great option and relives some of my stress. Now when it comes to all my doctors appts, well, that is a different story. *blushing* I just hate going there and like to pretend I don't have to go somewhere, where I get poked and prodded to no end just to hear something I already knew in the first place. So, I totally get it.
Incidentally, I started doing bill pay when I was a heavy drinker so I would not forget about things or put it off. Gave me more time to be drunk in my mind. Sad, isn't it?
Incidentally, I started doing bill pay when I was a heavy drinker so I would not forget about things or put it off. Gave me more time to be drunk in my mind. Sad, isn't it?
Johnnythefox
Que sera sera
- Nov 11, 2018
- 3,129
I gave up making plans as they usually have a way of not working out.
21Neberg
Enlightened
- Dec 17, 2018
- 1,624
I hate it too, I always think 'I hope I'm dead by then' haha
Yea I'm in a predicament where I can't get a drivers license or registration where I'm at because my mother has my citizenship document. How convenient. I had needed this document for some reason b4 and she only made a copy but kept the original. I didn't think much about it at the the time. Now I realize she never gave me the original as a way to keep control. I may have to drive home and talk to her, and I've been estranged for some time. Or I would have to temporarily put my car in someone else's name for now. Unless I can get this document from my mother. I don't have a Hungarian birth certificate either but u need like one of those two things in the US for things like a drivers license and registration. So goddamn annoying the barriers they can put up just so u can drive your damn car. I'm sorry but people should for the most part be able to just drive your vehicle and if u mess up on the road real bad then maybe u should be punished but not this situation where u cannot do something essential that u need to be able to do. I know there's the bus and other options but they aren't near as convenient or desirable. Even people without a car are constantly asking me to help out because dealing with transit is highly inconvenient.
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therhydler
Enlightened
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,196
Angst Filled Fuck Up
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2018
- 2,982
I have such bad brain fog and depression I can barely remember basic things like where I put my shoes or whatever. I had a company call me yesterday to go over some forms I had to fill in and she was just blathering on and on. I just hung up mid-conversation. I find that I am just kind of stumbling through life at this point. My ability to plan and think things through seems to have just gone out the window completely.
