My life is about to become shittier. Apparently, tomorrow they might close down coffee shops and restaurants. I do not go out much, but seeing those few friends I have IRL at least once a month helps me a lot. I am starting to feel like a caged animal. I am afraid I will completely lose touch with reality and lose my feeling of being a human if this happens again. I've almost lost my mind during the previous lockdown this Spring. This feels as if all my anxiety, paranoia and alertness around others is not just my internal reality anymore, it is starting to pour out into external reality too, AGAIN. Already I spend insane amounts of time on this site, and not being able to talk face to face with people who've known me for years is going to push me into spending even more time here. It is getting really hard to try to imagine a future, yet time mercilessly marches on. Those small things in life I used to look forward to, like having lunch with a friend, are going to become a thing of the past for who knows how long. Sigh.