Anybody else wish their family did not care for them.

[amightyquack]

It would be so much easier to catch the bus if I did not know how much it would affect my mother. I want nothing but to die, but it's like I am enslaved by guilt.

 

[DarkRocket]

This is absolutely the main reason I haven't killed myself yet, knowing it would crush my family and a friend or two. I attempted suicide when I was 23, and sadly I survived. I have had many great moments since then, but looking at my life now, not sure what the point of me being alive is. I'm broke, half ugly, and frankly not the smartest bulb in the room. I still live with family and I'm near middle age.

My family has bailed me out of several situations, so I'd feel a little bad if I was to off myself at this time. However, not sure how much longer I can deal with living in this awful, god forsaken world of inflation, being priced out of housing, and being unable to catch a damn break in life financially.

Some people kill their family first before killing themselves, I would never do it, but sometimes I see why people do it.

 

[FinishingLine]

Guess that is part of the survival instinct, to care about your family, their well being keeping you to leave them.
I am sorry you are in this situation of suffering - still, you have empathy.

 

[GreenTree]

Yep. I dread my family's pain If I go. I love them So much and they love me. Do everything for me. I fucking hate myself. If I had no family I'd be gone. Wish I was selfish and would just die. I feel your pain man.
The ripple effect of being suicidal is awful. I Don't care about me but love my family. Stay alive they suffer. Die they suffer.

 

[prince345]

It would be so much easier to catch the bus if I did not know how much it would affect my mother. I want nothing but to die, but it's like I am enslaved by guilt.

I feel the exact same, I know it must hurt indescribably not having any family though. So I feel guilty. I just wish I could ctb without any guilt because that choice would lead to unthinkable things across my whole family. Especially my mom

 

[DAMN.]

I hate how my family cares so much about my accomplishments that I find insignificant. I know I'm not special, anyone with the same opportunities and abilities as me could do anything I have. Am I selfish for wishing they wouldn't be proud of me?

It does make it harder for me to ctb, but I think I will anyway. I know they will be sad, but my pain now is greater.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings are understandable. I know that for many, it can be very painful, wanting so desperately to leave, but yet they have others that they are leaving behind. Death and loss are inevitable in this life and can be devastating. I feel like in my case, it is not others that are holding me back, it is rather limited access to methods instead, but I do understand that it would make ctb easier for many people, not having those that would be upset by their death. It is such a cruel and unfair world that we live in.

 

[Rogue]

It would be so much easier to catch the bus if I did not know how much it would affect my mother. I want nothing but to die, but it's like I am enslaved by guilt.

I don't have to worry about that my dad has been dead 5 years and my mom could care less. It hurts me that she doesn't care, nothing I can do about it.

 

[Interloper]

Yes, they go out of their way to do so much for me and I just figuratively spit in their face because I want them to despise me. Decades of being an absolute dead-beat and an apathetic son and they are still too nice.

 

[outatime_85]

Those who have family that cares and would miss them if they cashed out, I feel for them.

Does a person do what they think is right for themselves, which may cause some people grief, or continue fighting with whatever issues have befallen them that are causing their own grief?

That is a heck of a dilemma.

On my end, no one would care.
Some people may show up if there is a funeral to pay symbolic respect, but no one will really be all broken up about me cashing out.

In the end, it seems some of us are faced with a prisoner's dilemma.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Same here. I only have 3 people in my life right now who I care about enough to stick around. After deciding that I was just going to get it over with and CTB, I spent some time with them over the weekend. As nice as it was, my ability to enjoy it was overshadowed by the knowing the affect that me ending my life would have on them.

Nothing short of betraying them and getting them to hate me would help, but I can't do that. All I know is, I want out of here, but I don't know if I'll be able to go through with it when the time comes.

 

[NoLightRemains]

I confessed to my mom that I was thinking of commiting suicide a few months ago and she cried so hard she threw up. It hurt me so bad to see her like that. Me succeeding in CTB would cause much more pain and for the rest of her and my families life.

I have to weigh my own suffering against that of my loved ones, and it sucks. They are the only thing that makes life worth living on my good days, but also the only thing tying me to this world on my bad days.

 

[NOloveNOpain]

It's what always breaks me thinking about it. I just wish no one cared about me so i could just CTB.