Discussion Anybody else self sabotage relationships?

[UninformedLover]

Whether it's subconsciously or on purpose - do you do it? If so why or why do you think you do it?

 

[azucaramargo]

¡Sí!

I don't know. Borderline PD? Masochism? The searing satisfaction of seeing one's worst fears and insecurities become realized?

Thanks for the chance to vent. ;)

What about you UninformedLover? (Wish you could change your name to UNIFORMED LOver).

 

[UninformedLover]

¡Sí!

I don't know. Borderline PD? Masochism? The searing satisfaction of seeing one's worst fears and insecurities become realized?

Thanks for the chance to vent. ;)

What about you UninformedLover? (Wish you could change your name to UNIFORMED LOver).

I do it too. I'm not really sure why. I always end up destorying my relationships with people. I don't realize it until its too late. I guess it's okay because it makes me ctb a little easier I suppose. Sometimes I wish I could just maintain relationships and have friends but I don't believe I am wortht of such luxury.

 

[epic]

The lower I feel, the more I push away people. I don't do this actively,I am just tired and unwilling to meet them all the time. It comes from within and I wasn't like this always. Alienation could be a defense mechanism so that our loved ones are less hurt if we go.

 

[azucaramargo]

I do it too. I'm not really sure why. I always end up destorying my relationships with people. I don't realize it until its too late. I guess it's okay because it makes me ctb a little easier I suppose. Sometimes I wish I could just maintain relationships and have friends but I don't believe I am wortht of such luxury.

We can maintain friendships with each other! "I am TI-TA-NIUM." Once again, I'm so impressed with the power SS'ers have to hold a mirror up to themselves and examine their foibles. I cringe and wince and plug my ears at the suggestion of any introspection.

The lower I feel, the more I push away people. I don't do this actively,I am just tired and unwilling to meet them all the time. It comes from within and I wasn't like this always. Alienation could be a defense mechanism so that our loved ones are less hurt if we go.

Sometimes I think this. I justify being rude and crabby to my parents by thinking, "I am saving them from heartache when they come home to find my big body hanging by a rope."

 

[Final Escape]

Yes all the time not on purpose just I never had a safe relationship with any adults as a child. So what happens is I get triggered into emotional flashbacks and respond inappropriately and the other person thinks you're a nutcase. Unless this is appropriately identified and treated u will likely end up alone and destitute, because u can't maintain relationships. People can easily slip through the cracks of the mental healthcare system because they ignore the devastating effects of complex ptsd.

 

[mediocre]

I sabotaged all my relationships when I was 12. I just stopped communicating completely I was under so much stress due to bullying that I just shut down. Eventually my friends stopped contacting me and since then I've really only spoken to my mum and some immediate family members. Otherwise I don't speak at all.

I'm still very reluctant and afraid to talk to anyone I don't know. People have tried to push me to make friends but I have sabotaged these potential relationships. I'm so terrified of being either bullied or rejected again.

 

[Saroshi]

yes

i misconstrue something i did as annoying

then i stop talking to them for fear of bothering them

and kill a relationship