Any women feeling defensive over the gender ratio for suicide

[anhedonicNfoggy]

It says guys are much more likely to commit suicide. Possibly because they use more violent methods

I know that there's expectations with suppressed emotions for men. I also heard men feel pressure over being a breadwinner

But like I don't know how much I'm far off. Due to my upbringing, I sorta learned to bottle up my emotions. When I was 5 I would cry a lot when my dad would yell at me, my dad would just get irritated. I think I saw anger as a more expectable emotion as I got older when dealing with my dad when he would go violent. Anger sorta gave a sense of control and not showing fear gives more power.

And anyways, crying feels humiliating. Once you're not an actual child anymore, it's just not socially acceptable. People just feel uncomfortable and weirded out. Crying is not cute. I just don't get how some girls cry and hug friends etc. Can't understand I guess. If I'm crying, I want to be alone. Sweet words and hugs feel so fake. And besides if I'm crying, it somewhat has to do with I feel lonely, I don't trust people, I hate people, etc. And when I was younger and I would cry, I wasn't given sweet words to make me feel better. I was usually made to feel guilty for crying like what is there to feel bad about, or like you anyways deserved that so you shouldn't act like the victim, or it's a joke to them and not to be taken seriously etc. So, I guess if I were to cry, I'd most likely go to the bathroom stall or hide under my blankets. I don't make noise when I cry.

And yes, I guess there's the gender expectation men being the breadwinners but once women got into workforce, men felt less masculine. But like come on, doesn't everyone want pride and respect? It feels very humiliating for me if I solely depend on someone and I don't want my primary role to be popping out babies bc it just also feels humiliating bc ur vulnerable in that physical state. Idk yes this that men feel self conscious about how much they're making. But that's the same for me. Maybe bc I have a family that's just obsessed with financial success. Both my parents are CEOs and my brother is also financially doing well like he is smart and also went to a top university. It would be natural to feel worried about one's career if the people around u highly value it and exceed at it. And besides just like anyone, I'm scared of being able to find a job after college. Recession in the economy, oversaturation in my field, high cost of living where I'm at bc that's where tech companies are around. But yes fortunately unlike others, I wouldn't have to deal with homelessness bc my family would be able to afford helping. But I'm certain they'd help my brother just as much. They paid both of our college tuitions so it's equal.

Actually a big part of my low self esteem is feeling that no one respects me or they look down on me. It's not the reason no one cares about me. Yes on some level, people are apologetic for their actions. But what causes anyone to treat me in any way doesn't always have to do with empathy. It's respect. It's a me thing. Because I'm not someone good enough to be respected, that's why I get treated in a certain way. Btw I'm just very awkward bc of social anxiety. I'm stiff and I even feel like it's weird to smile a little in public. I get worried people will think I'm creepy or besides I look a little more disgusting when I smile. Idk I just also feel there's this stereotype that women with social anxiety are "shy". But like I'm not nervous in an endearing way. I'm just very uncomfortable. Sometimes I don't know where to look when walking because I think if I look at someone whether it be their eyes or their hand, that would be creepy. Or idk what to do with my hands and my posture is shit like hunched over but idk how to change that. I'm just really quiet too. I know guys get worried they'll get pepper prayed by women. I don't get worried about that and I also haven't seen it. But yeah I also get worried about being seen as a weirdo/an offender.

And yes it seems guys use more violent methods. But I also feel it's just more socially acceptable for guys to have guns. They can claim self defense whereas for women, pepper spray is usually what's meant for self defense. I don't know if I'm biased. I bet if a woman were to have a gun, people will be like what are u doing with that, (little kids) shouldn't be holding what the adults use. School shooters are like all men. Police get scared to attack bc they don't want to get shot. They're scared of the gun. The school shooter is most likely skinny and not athletic. But if it was a woman holding the gun, police would be like she's just a girl, she's nothing so let's attack. I don't know what I'm getting at. My brain feels foggy, mushy, fried. I can't think straight so sorry about my paragraphs lacking clarity). If I were to have a gun, I'd totally do that over slitting wrists or pill overdose bc high success rate. Idk everyone's reasons for suicide. But it would hurt if people think u attempting is a call for help and attention when really u just failed and were certain u wanted to die. Ok so I know men use more violent methods but the only reason I'm a bit on the fence about that is because I don't want my corpse state to be traumatizing to family. But it's not that oh I don't really wanna die and I want attention. It's just the logistics are complicated. Yes we're going to die and nothing after that like what happens to everyone else should matter. But I don't want to feel guilty for sorta ruining lives. I personally don't find gore terrifying but that's just through videos. I don't know how seeing the real thing would be.

So yeah. Sorry, this is all pretty long

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Men are more likely to be successful with suicide. If all suicide attempts with clear intent to die were successful, then I imagine the disparity would be evened out some.

Women are shooting themselves more often nowadays. Is it really that strange for a woman to own a fun? I would think they would be just as likely if not more to have own for self-defense since they tend to be smaller and physically weaker than men, who generally are the violent aggressors.

I guess women are more likely to reach out for help. When I answered a hotline about 80% of the people who used it were female.

 

[anhedonicNfoggy]

Men are more likely to be successful with suicide. If all suicide attempts with clear intent to die were successful, then I imagine the disparity would be evened out some.

Women are shooting themselves more often nowadays. Is it really that strange for a woman to own a fun? I would think they would be just as likely if not more to have own for self-defense since they tend to be smaller and physically weaker than men, who generally are the violent aggressors.

I guess women are more likely to reach out for help. When I answered a hotline about 80% of the people who used it were female.

I don't know a lot actually on what are social norms on owning a gun because the people in my circle don't have guns and are against guns. But yeah I guess guns are good for self defense. However women are are usually not encouraged to try that option. People just say that they should take self defense classes as if the strength of a bio woman matches anywhere to the strength of a bio man.

But yea I sorta misunderstood the reach out for help. I thought by reach out for help, it meant reaching out irl. But yea I haven't thought about guys feeling uncomfortable venting online. I feel comfortable venting online by text not calls. But yea overall I stopped using chatlines because it's so scripted and you can't be fully honest bc they'll report u. But yeah still I guess I do reach out for help online like using this site for not just suicide methods but just letting it out

 

[MiMif]

You posted this a logn time ago but i relate alot. Growing up i wasnt allowed to cry and i still dont understand how other girls are able to actually have arguements and disagreements with each other as i just accept everything and dont take offense. I also never understood how they cried and comforted each other. The main reason men are stereotyped to not show feelings and etc isnt because of some great biological aspect its simply because of upbringing.

Most boys are brought up to not cry whereas most girls are brought up to obey rules and not play in mud and dressup or youll look homeless and etc. I was honestly raised with both these mentalitys one from my dad and one from my mom. As a matter affact my dad raises my little brother with less strictness then he did me. When my brother cries he doesnt say hell give him a reason to cry but lets my mother talk to him. And when my brother struggles in school he doesnt call him dumb but actually sits down to help him. Its kinda wierd to me.

mY brother also does 0 chores...honestly unfair.

But yeah ive always gotten a little annoyed when people assume all girls show their feelings.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Isn't the statistic that women attempt more? I wonder- with the knowledge and (kind of) availability of things like SN now- whether we'll start to see the numbers even out. I think it's maybe true that women are more reluctant to do the very violent or brutal methods but, not always.

What maybe annoys me more is the whole- it was some emotional cry for help with women. Especially with overdoses. But then, I suppose- with the availability of the internet, I am kind of curious when people haven't researched it now. I suppose I aways felt like- if I was going to attempt, I'd want to at least feel confident it would work.

But yes, I suppose I've always seen my own suicide as evening up the score a fraction.

 

[Humble]

Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling sad or suicidal because I remember the statistic that men ctb more so i feel like how i feel doesnt matter; its stupid, i know

 

[cursedcure]

i need to beat the statistics, i'll be successful

 

[FujoshiNeet]

I'm not sure defensive is the right word but I hate the framing that men are suffering more because they are more successful at it.
I genuinely think we're all suffering in large numbers and a lot of women are being overlooked because our attempts aren't as successful.

 

[leloyon]

I'm not sure defensive is the right word but I hate the framing that men are suffering more because they are more successful at it.
I genuinely think we're all suffering in large numbers and a lot of women are being overlooked because our attempts aren't as successful.

I don't intend this as an attack on anyone who has this disorder (rather, it is an attack on others who misunderstand it), but I feel a lot of this is due to men seeing all women with mental illness as having BPD, and just assuming that women who attempt but don't succeed were just doing it for attention, as if BPD is the only disorder women can suffer from, and BPD sufferers could only be attempting for attention rather than out of actual suicidal intent.
People who use "fatherless/daddy/mommy issues" jokes should be hung (metaphorically). That is all.

 

[Argo]

I have nothing to contribute other than to say I think gender itself is such a cesspool. I wish we were all genderless neutral creatures who cloned ourselves in test tubes, because then we'd have dissolved one of the grossest barriers to understanding and compassion.