Discussion Any thoughts about dying as a virgin?

[kilowatt]

Virginity doesn't matter that much in modern society as it is a plain social construct, but it being taken away sure is a noticeable part in someone's life. I'm 19 and the only intercourse I've ever had was non-consensual when I was quite young and I like to think that did not take my virginity away from me. I don't crave any kind of sexual relationship with a man, I just see it as an ideology, aswell as a missing experience, since I'm aware it has a beautiful part to it when it comes to closure. Would it make it any more or less significant if I died as a ''virgin'' or not?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

When we die, whether naturally or CTB we leave this world and we leave a dead cluster of atoms (a dead body) behind. To me it simply doesn't matter bc we either enter a different world or we become energy or after death there's nothingness.

 

[nicotine_goblin]

I personally don't find that it matters much. It's subjective I guess. I'm 21 and will most likely die as a virgin and it doesn't bother me because if I were to live I'd likely never find a partner either way due to being a schizoid. And as Praestat said after death there's likely a void where nothing matters anymore

 

[Darkover]

I think of going to the Grave without having a Psychedelic Experience is like going to the Grave without ever having Sex. It means that you never Figured out what it is all about. The Mystery is in the Body and the way the Body Works itself into Nature.

 

[carac]

I think you have to seperate "sex" from "making love"

For me sex is just an arbitrary biological process that in itself has little meaning and so dieing without experiencing it doesn't really matter at all.

What I think is more complicated is the notion for finding a partner and someone that you can lovingly share your sexual experiences with. I think that's something that could seen as quite valuable and something everybody should experience before they die. In the end though, if there is nothing after death does anything really matter?

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I think of going to the Grave without having a Psychedelic Experience is like going to the Grave without ever having Sex. It means that you never Figured out what it is all about. The Mystery is in the Body and the way the Body Works itself into Nature.

Interesting. I've never had one (a psychedelic experience).

 

[avaruus]

Missing out on the actual act of sex doesn't really bother me. But missing out on love does.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

Sex is overrated.

I'd prefer a genuine romance a thousand times over a lot of daily sex.

To me, virginity is utterly nonsense; I couldn't care less whether I die a virgin or not. But honestly, I don't understand how society thinks that if you're a man who has a lot of sex, you're a king, but if you're a woman who has a lot of sex, you're a sl*t...

 

[FuneralCry]

I would never want what this thread is about but the reality is that death erases everything anyway and one cannot suffer from not existing so I don't see how it could be so signifcant what happened in our existence when everything is just about to be forgotten and lost to the eternity of death.

And I see it as perfection to be free from all needs and desires, it's a curse to be a conscious being trapped inside this decaying flesh prison, existence is just unnecessary anyway.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

I'm probably gonna die a virgin. Haven't had sex at all. I feel like sex is overrated and in reality it's not actually worth going through all the hassle (same with relationships). It never bothers me.

 

[リンさん]

Many great comments in this thread already, so I probably won't mention anything new.

From personal experience, sex without emotional connection is one of the most overrated things in the world. But it is a fantastic tool to build intimacy with someone you already love. I'd rather die a virgin than have had meaningless sex.

 

[Lost_my_soul]

If you feel like you missed out on something, you may regret it before heading out, although I will say, sex and virginity are overrated, this does require a sense of love and affection when you really mean it, otherwise it would be quite meaningless which you will regret it later.

 

[ChampagneSupernova]

That's really entirely up to you. Are you missing out? I don't know, I'm a guy so my experience is a little different. I've personally slept with a lot of girls throughout my life and I regret doing it now that I'm older. I wish I had only done it with the people I had cared about instead of the casual ones. There's a big difference between casual sex and romantic. Personally, I don't think casual would be missing out. Romantic, maybe? But I suppose I've had both so I know what I would have missed out on. But again, I'm a guy so my perspective may be very different.

Best wishes!

 

[DesperateDan]

Virginity doesn't matter that much in modern society as it is a plain social construct, but it being taken away sure is a noticeable part in someone's life. I'm 19 and the only intercourse I've ever had was non-consensual when I was quite young and I like to think that did not take my virginity away from me. I don't crave any kind of sexual relationship with a man, I just see it as an ideology, aswell as a missing experience, since I'm aware it has a beautiful part to it when it comes to closure. Would it make it any more or less significant if I died as a ''virgin'' or not?

Yeah I am not sure that it would really matter, it would just be something that you did not experience in life. I am not a virgin but I have never been married. and I have no kids, things that I would go to the grave with without having experienced

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

I gave a guy oral once, so I'm not really sure if that constitutes me still being a virgin.

If so, I've long since made my peace with it. Sex is worthless to me if there's no romance involved. If I don't love them and/or they don't love me, what's the point?

 

[MiMif]

Virginity doesn't matter that much in modern society as it is a plain social construct, but it being taken away sure is a noticeable part in someone's life. I'm 19 and the only intercourse I've ever had was non-consensual when I was quite young and I like to think that did not take my virginity away from me. I don't crave any kind of sexual relationship with a man, I just see it as an ideology, aswell as a missing experience, since I'm aware it has a beautiful part to it when it comes to closure. Would it make it any more or less significant if I died as a ''virgin'' or not?

I'm so sorry that happened to you...as much as I hate life if I ever got r*ped I think I wouldn't matter how I did it I would kill myself as soon as possible. I really am so sorry that happened to you your so strong

 

[sserafim]

Virginity doesn't matter that much in modern society as it is a plain social construct, but it being taken away sure is a noticeable part in someone's life. I'm 19 and the only intercourse I've ever had was non-consensual when I was quite young and I like to think that did not take my virginity away from me. I don't crave any kind of sexual relationship with a man, I just see it as an ideology, aswell as a missing experience, since I'm aware it has a beautiful part to it when it comes to closure. Would it make it any more or less significant if I died as a ''virgin'' or not?

Idc if I die as a virgin cuz I'm aroace and I have no desire for any of that stuff anyways and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I don't want to experience it. I've never had a relationship and never will cause I don't see the point in one and I also don't want one. I don't base my self worth off of that kind of stuff and I don't want to engage in it.

Never done the thing and never will. Idc if other people do it but the idea of me personally doing it is just disgusting to me. I would hate that kind of intimacy and I hate people touching or being close to me already enough so….

I would never want what this thread is about but the reality is that death erases everything anyway and one cannot suffer from not existing so I don't see how it could be so signifcant what happened in our existence when everything is just about to be forgotten and lost to the eternity of death.

And I see it as perfection to be free from all needs and desires, it's a curse to be a conscious being trapped inside this decaying flesh prison, existence is just unnecessary anyway.

I hate the fact that I'm trapped in this existence and flesh prison with no way out. I never even wanted to be a human being anyways! I don't even feel like one tbh. I hate having to exist on this planet

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

if i told you it was overrated would you believe me? sure it's very nice the first few months but..... we live longer. it gets old. even when you're young, there may be times that you want to just self pleasure and jump back on whatever game you were playing at the time. i'll be a jerk. i'll say i put more effort into pleasuring my partner than myself and grew tired. it's what you make of it. there are people that are insatiable and there are those that are completely adverse to it. why would you need someone else's opinion for something so intimate? if the term virgin doesn't sit well with you, there are avenues that you can take.

 

[ChampagneSupernova]

I gave a guy oral once, so I'm not really sure if that constitutes me still being a virgin.

If so, I've long since made my peace with it. Sex is worthless to me if there's no romance involved. If I don't love them and/or they don't love me, what's the point?

I would say casual, you're not missing out. But when it's with someone you care about and it's reciprocated, that is missing out. Problem is, that takes time and can be difficult to find that person.

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

I'm 19 and the only intercourse I've ever had was non-consensual when I was quite young

That wasn't intercourse.

Virginity is ultimately just a social construct. You absolutely do not have to consider that experience your "first time".

Even though I wish I had gone long before I was still glad I endured enough to have some sexual experiences.

 

[AllAlone]

I'm going to die a virgin. Ultimately it doesn't matter. Death is an off switch and once your gone none of your experiences matter. However, maybe if you had sex or a romantic partner you would want to keep living. So you might as well try to experience these things if you can to see if it changes your outlook on life. Personally I have no capacity to find a romantic partner but if I could then I would at least to try it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it depends on what it means to the individual. I had a very strict and prudish upbringing which I don't actually regret. Sex was always sacred to me and I'm glad I didn't do it. (Not that I got many opportunities- Lol!) I feel certain it would have broken my heart if I had because I'm also sure that- none of the people I fancied would have worked out as partners- even if they had felt the same way about me.

It really depends on how you view sex. Some people regret sleeping around. Others regret not having had that experience. I think we all should follow what feels right to us- without feeling pressured either way. Be true to yourself and all that. I'm so sorry about your SA experience.

 

[martinso67]

I would never want what this thread is about but the reality is that death erases everything anyway and one cannot suffer from not existing so I don't see how it could be so signifcant what happened in our existence when everything is just about to be forgotten and lost to the eternity of death.

And I see it as perfection to be free from all needs and desires, it's a curse to be a conscious being trapped inside this decaying flesh prison, existence is just unnecessary anyway.

I understand your view on existence.
But in my opinion the bad or suffering part of life is only because one is a human. Which comes with needing to live in a tribe or society to survive and meet your needs. For nearly everything you need to depend on other humans such as food, transport, sleep (bed, housing) etc. AND the thing is you cannot trust them. They sometimes reject you (like no jobs, etc.)

 

[SolomonKado]

Virginity doesn't matter that much in modern society as it is a plain social construct, but it being taken away sure is a noticeable part in someone's life. I'm 19 and the only intercourse I've ever had was non-consensual when I was quite young and I like to think that did not take my virginity away from me. I don't crave any kind of sexual relationship with a man, I just see it as an ideology, aswell as a missing experience, since I'm aware it has a beautiful part to it when it comes to closure. Would it make it any more or less significant if I died as a ''virgin'' or not?

Sadly, with my experiences with intercourse, I would rather have stayed a virgin. The complications that come with intercourse can be immense.

Intercourse and no self esteem became more stressful for me than other things. Also can lead to an "accidental" child because of the "heat of the moment." Leaving tons more pain for you and trouble. Being responsible for ruining another life brought into this world because of our need for not being a virgin was stronger then getting better and having a successful relationship.

A lot of people are looking for someone to make them better, but it never works that way. You just bring your mess of a life into theirs possibly ruining there life also…

I know it's easier for me to say I wish I was a virgin because I've had it. Some people want a child until they have one and then have to raise it. It's horrible how experiences with things we really want can and will turn into pain and trauma…leaving you with wishing you hadn't and the possible ruined life of a child because Sex was more important then having a healthy family…

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

I would say casual, you're not missing out. But when it's with someone you care about and it's reciprocated, that is missing out. Problem is, that takes time and can be difficult to find that person.

I agree, I'm definitely missing out on sex I could have with the love of my life who loves me back.

It hurts that I won't be able to experience that, but I no longer care. I'm too fucked up to have anything like that anyway.

 

[Dying2077]

I read a topic like this before and there were big problems. Can the moderators close it?

 

[executioner1983]

I had the opportunity to lose it with my boyfriend when I was 17 but I turned it down. It eventually caused problems in the relationship because my partner was more interested in sex than I was. I broke up with him because he implied that he couldn't be in a relationship without frequent sex. I could care less about sex, sometimes I'm even repulsed by it. My feelings around it don't bother me much, I only hate how much it limits my dating pool since sex is so important to a lot of people. But whatever, it sucks to suck and I have much worse things to worry about.

 

[DystopianWorld94]

I look at the world and life from a scientific point of view, so I have to say that wanting love and having sex are biological urges/chemical reactions (mainly oxytocin and vasopressin, but also dopamine and serotonin). Everyone should get the chance to experience them a few times at least to see if it is for them or not (it would be somewhat fair in a perfect world, but we don't live in a perfect world or a utopian society). I've had a few relationships and I've had sex quite a times with a few different girls that I've been in relationships with and all I can say is: it's a nice feeling, but at the end of the day it's just biological urges/chemical reactions and that's all it ever will be. Once you slowly get over that - you'll get used to not having it. I mean, I'm still searching for a new relationship to experience those things again even though I plan to CTB eventually (that's if I do, it's not like it's easy to CTB), but humans have ridiculously high standards nowadays when it comes to looks, height, popularity, wealth, etc. Personally, I'm finding it hard to search for a new relationship because of the fact I'm a guy in his late 20s losing his hair which puts women off to some extent and that's just pathetic, isn't it? People try to act as though humans don't have high standards, but they do to some extent and it's only getting worse. It doesn't matter about gender either. A human with high standards is a human with high standards, regardless of gender.

 

[temperance]

Depends on the point of view of certain individuals I guess. Its more important to some than it it might be to others whether that be personal preference or religious reasons, there is no right choice

 

[chuerdhmproton]

Virginity doesn't matter that much in modern society as it is a plain social construct, but it being taken away sure is a noticeable part in someone's life. I'm 19 and the only intercourse I've ever had was non-consensual when I was quite young and I like to think that did not take my virginity away from me. I don't crave any kind of sexual relationship with a man, I just see it as an ideology, aswell as a missing experience, since I'm aware it has a beautiful part to it when it comes to closure. Would it make it any more or less significant if I died as a ''virgin'' or not?

sex is subjective, to some it is amazing to others it is meh. So I think there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Quite frankly there are few times in my life I regretted having sex